The six pillars of self-esteem

The six pillars of self-esteem- Why it is not centred on how you feel but pivots essentially around what you think you are capable of

We often believe that self-esteem is a static being, a state in which we eternally feel optimistic, and full of energy and the mind feels calm and nurturing of good thoughts, never being affected by any negative emotions or doubts or dislikes. This is a common misconception we all harbour.

Research says self-esteem is what gives an emotion of self-confidence in one’s abilities. It equips a person with the self-belief that they will make it through any time because they are capable of handling any situation that comes in front of them. Self-esteem is knowing that we can determine our path and very well travel down that course. It is knowing that even if everything falls apart, we have full faith in ourselves to get back up and manage our lives.

The amount of self-esteem you hold for yourself is not the amount of confidence you hold in how well people perceive you, it lies in you much you perceive yourself as capable of handling rejections, bad opinions and negativity in any facet of life.

The interesting notion of having real self-esteem is that it eliminates the need to focus on how superior we are to others. When we don't feel happy or content in our individual lives, we often feel the need to compare ourselves to others and feel superior to them. Self-esteem is not intrinsically an emotion that varies from moment to moment, but a constant mindset of a sense of confidence and respect for oneself. Thus it is something you build over a long period and not just dreamt into existence.

Here are six practices on which self-esteem can be built. These practices serve as a reminder that self-esteem is not just about feeling confident in oneself but constantly and consciously choosing choices that are practised as habits in daily life.

1) Living your life consciously- To live consciously is to live with intent and not be controlled by our shadow selves or biases. Your shadow selves as they are called are out of the enlightenment.

2) Self-acceptance- You are not actively criticizing your appearance or your wisdom or being willfully ignorant of the natural balance of qualities and features that every person possesses. This is true self-acceptance, of seeing yourself as a whole without any judgment.

3) Self-responsibility- You hold yourself accountable for your happiness. You understand that you are in control of your life because you are not responsible for anyone's life but yours.

4) Self-assertiveness- You can stand up for yourself without being defensive. Defensiveness is born out of fear, assertiveness is born out of self-belief.

5)Living with purpose- You live with purpose and intent knowing that your purpose is just to be where you are, doing whatever you are doing. In your days you chose to live with a sense of purpose and live it to its fullest potential.

6)Personal Integrity- You hold yourself accountable to a certain level of morals, ethics and accountability. You can look at choices objectively, even when the circumstances are difficult, you realize the essence of having your moral compass instead of complying with the conditioning we are all accustomed to as a society.

I hope you find the courage to foster a narrative that forges to be your own,

In the truth of your purpose, you walk yourself to your home.

In the radiance of the best you have ever been,

I hope you believe in the capability of your highest potential, the prowess yet unseen