On February 15th a 40 year old woman took her own life. I may not have known her, but she was one of the 7 billion+ humans I share this planet I call home with. She had a life to live, family and friends who loved her, and so much left to add to the shared experience we are all living through. But n0w she's gone. And though I didn't know her, I can't help but feel pangs of genuine anger and sadness.

Depression is at an all-time high among Americans of various backgrounds and age groups. As you can imagine, this could be linked to any number of reasons. Regardless of why, here are 5 simple steps to help anyone stave off the negative effects of depression.

My cousin calls me last night and tells me the Fred, the boyfriend of her daughter, died on Sunday from a heroin overdose. My little cousin, her daughter Rachel, is on a trip out of state right now and flying home on a bereavement pass tomorrow morning. Fred was always really sweet and they were talking about getting married. Now she and our family will be attending his funeral and she will be sitting next to his mother in the front row of the chapel instead of standing with him at the front of the church. The flowers will be overwhelming and there will be friends sharing stories of love but there won’t be any happy wedding toasts with sparkling cider. These funerals of overdose victims can’t really be celebrations of life, since the addict didn’t love life more than they loved their drug of choice, right?

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒓𝒚; sometimes I wonder if anyone else notices. I’m sure your spine has been permanently curved by the weight of all those empty, broken promises you continue to carry on your shoulders.

I’m starting this Story as a very confused 9 year old, about the time I started to wish I would hurt myself so badly that I would be in a Coma and all the bad things would be over.

Prologue:

As a child I constantly dreamed of becoming a writer one day. When I was about 12 years old, on a hot summer day, sitting alone outside – the first poem I ever created just came bursting out of me. It was so magical, almost unbelievable, I couldn't stop myself. I immediately went to my room to write it down, and as I had no journal at that time I used one of my notebooks for school – it only took about 15 minutes. Not realizing that bringing the notebook back to school with me everyday would change my life, It subsequently turned into my poetry journal. As the days, weeks, months and years went by I sat in each class with that notebook waiting for every moment I could write in it. I always had an appreciation for writing, research papers were my favorite – I always got good grades on them, but poetry was not something I knew I could do until I felt it hit me that one summerday… Sadly, my dream wasn't good enough for my parents, according to them it wasn't a real job to pursue or worth them eventually paying for college in that field of study. What's more, the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse my twin sister and I suffered in our family environment kept me trapped in a world of insecurities and self-hatred. I spent so much of my time either crying, sad, ashamed, afraid, and a myriad of other emotional disturbances, there was nothing left in me to focus on happiness. I was conditioned at a young age to feel worthless and be silent. Survivors of abuse never get the help they need right away, either because they're soul is so shattered that they can't ask for it, or the already limited resources fall short. This lack of compassion evolving in society – in my opinion – is going to bring all of humanity down to unimaginable chaos and fear, completely changing the way we were made; we are wired to be kind and compassionate.

I’m 35, and I have no fucking idea what I am doing. Up until now I’ve failed miserably at being an adult, and as such I’ve ended up doing a 360 degree turn only to land right where I began. Don’t be like me.