Where to start for me is actually a difficult Qustion to answer?
People who suffer with mental health “disorders” have been misunderstood and even feared by members of the public for far too long. I hope to be a spoke in the revolutionary wheel of change. As the quote in the picture says "Those who don’t understand your silence will never understand your words". Maybe if I try and explain my silence, my words will be easier to understand. This is my story and these are my experiences.
“Bulimics- weak. Over-exercisers- very weak. Diet pill takers- the weakest. None of them have shit on us. We’re the ones with discipline. We’re the ones with strength. Why? Because we combine all three of them and then add another, stronger component to it. We starve. We are the ones who stare into the refrigerator with sunken eyes and a weak heartbeat, longing to put one morsel into our mouths, even the healthiest of foods, and cannot bring ourselves to consume anything. It’s at that point we punish ourselves for even walking into the kitchen. “Ok, you, stupid weakling,” we say to ourselves. “It’s time to repent.” That means we’ll go even longer without a single bite, take twice the number of pills, and do twice the exercise we normally do, just because we walked into the kitchen and even contemplated eating. Hell, at least the bulimics vomit the food up. The other two actually consume it completely and let it nourish their bodies, even if it’s only temporary. Us, we don’t even swallow, which, to be brutally honest, doesn’t come in handy at some point in life when you’re staring up at the face of a guy eagerly awaiting you to consume him while your knees ache from the pressure of the floor beneath them. But that’s another story altogether; I simply say it to further explain how our road is more difficult, but, oh, the triumph is greater, the results more permanent. Yes, we anorexics have a hard line to tow, but when you can walk into the children’s section of a clothing store and buy a smaller size than a child years younger than you, it’s all worth it.
Go to soundcloud.com/tmcg45 for my music, links to my book and short stories, and my music on iTunes.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Chronophobia is quite a rare condition. It is a so-called irrational fear of time -- or, more accurately, time passing. Chronophobics live in a constant state of anxiety about the seconds ticking by, multiplying into hours, days, months, years... and then you're dead.
Another sunrise in North America.
Well how do I begin this.. Let me start by saying I suffer from Skitzofrenia. I’m also a addict I’m now medicated but when I wasn’t let me tell you about just a little bit of the craziness I experienced mentally...
I’m sure most of us have had thoughts of wishing a part of our body looked different, our hair was thicker, or our eyes were a different color -- because, who hasn’t, right? For me, I wish my boobs were a little bigger, more perky. I wish my bikini line didn’t get such bad razor burn. I wish my teeth were straighter, whiter. There are many physical characteristics I’d like to change, but I’ve also learned how to accept myself just the way I am. That’s not to say I don’t still have those thoughts, because I do. And I’m sure you’ve experienced them a time or two as well. What’s important is to be aware of how often and how extreme those thoughts occur.
The first time I thought I took up too much space was when I was nine-years-old. It was silent reading time in Mrs. Boucher's class and children were seated in groups of four. Slouched in my chair, I looked at my stomach rolls in my pink Hollister t-shirt and cleverly placed my book to hide them. That was 15 years ago. I've silently battled eating disorders for eight years.
Self-isolation and lockdown has been tough. We haven’t been able to see our loved ones, our family or our friends. The fear of contracting Covid-19 has been at the peak of everyone’s worries with thousands of people stockpiling food and hand sanitiser, frantically scrubbing their hands and wearing face masks twenty-four-seven. Life has been hectic for the NHS, uncertain for millions of workers and completely up in the air for school kids, but what about the issues the virus has caused for people with Asperger’s Syndrome?
I began to wonder why I could not focus on much when I wasn’t alone or when I knew someone was home. They could be silent but if I saw their car, I would not be able to focus. I realize I am not a doctor, at all, nor am I any type of therapist whatsoever, but it’s not a crime to ask questions or seek the answers to them. So, this will serve as a collection of research that I have found and would like to pass on to all of you, as I also believe that education should be free to humans.