For those of you who don't know much about me, or don't know who I am at all, I would tell you but I can't promise you that I truly even know who I am myself. One thing that I do know for sure is that I do a lot of disassociating - disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions, and identity. This agonizing mental disorder consumes my life.
Shame is part of my daily life. You see, I am what they call a “quiet” borderline. I admit, it sounds a little on the creepy side, but I can assure you there’s nothing lighthearted about it.
I have felt so incredibly alone in this world, I feel like someone has to tell my story or it will get lost and let’s face it, no one else is going to! I hope to regain some control and to hopefully help others understand more what it is like to live with an illness that never really relents. It is with me 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and quite simply it is exhausting.
Growing up as a kid I was never slim but I was never really "fat" or "big". The memory that sticks with me is the one of me playing with my friends as if we were in the Disney Movie of Hercules. We would pick different characters to play and the next day we would rotate them. The kids would always assign me one of the Muses.. You know? The ones that narrates the story while singing every now and then... Well, I was "the fat one" according to my friends.
Published 20 days ago
At some point of our life, we’ve all woken up from a nightmare, obviously terrified and shook up, but then realize it wasn’t real. But imagine waking up and living that nightmare. Imagine seeing a creature in your bedroom looking at you, but not being able to move or yell for help. This is what people with Sleep Paralysis experience nightly.
In the broad spectrum of things, narcissism is a personality disorder. Breaking this illness down into something smaller and easier to understand isn’t always straightforward.
If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, there are a few important things you’ll need to consider. You should know how life will change with these diagnosis, and you need to know the risks of continuing to drive. Millions of Americans live with Alzheimer’s, so you’re not alone. Here’s everything you need to know about living with this disease.
Ahh it is that time of year once again, the clocks have gone back an hour, making 5 PM feel more like 6 PM, and it gets dark at 4:30 PM. Not only is the outside world seemingly greyer, but your outlook on things may be as well. You start to feel down and have no explanation for why you feel this way, other than it's just the weather; then you are dealing with Seasonal Depression.
There are few things that are more frustrating than when I hear someone toss, “Oh my god I am so ADD right now” around like it's the next big thing, when really it’s just your excuse for why you weren’t paying attention. And quite frankly, as someone who has struggled with the ups and downs of ADD/ADHD, it’s pretty insulting. And don't even get me started on the whole "your friend’s, sister’s, cousin’s, dog’s owner has ADD/ADHD which gives you a free pass to use it" mentality.
After being diagnosed with anxiety and depression, I started trying to work out what exactly was making things more difficult than they used to be. At first, I thought that it had a lot to do with feeling like I was constantly trudging through a field of sludgy mud, on a foggy day with little idea where the edge of the field was. I still think this has a lot to do with it. More recently, I realised that there’s something else that plays quite a big role, at least for me. I don’t seem to be able to just get up and do things anymore. Instead my brain mulls over the things I have to do, it can feel like just a few minutes to me but when I check the clock, I’ll find I’ve lost hours at a time.
When we are born, we're born with the fear of three things; the dark, loud noises, and falling down.