Committing myself to a lover with Bipolar disorder, CPTSD, and a crippling, low self esteem was not an overnight decision. I took an extensive amount of time researching and plodding over the data, the case studies, the sheer amount of information. I knew in my heart, in the deepest wells of my capacity, that these were merely hurdles. The love I had and still have for this person, my person, would overcome any disease, or illness, or disorder, and, in that aspect I am right. Still, the evening of his attempted suicide has not disappeared from my recollection. We do not speak of that night. He has not read my disparaging journal entries, he has never been able to account for my despair, and understandably so. It must be incredibly hard to accept that your pain has bled into your lover, staining her. Writing this, I am in no way placing responsibility on him to acknowledge my grief. This grief is my own, and it has been wiped away without malice, but wiped away it has been. Maybe you are in a similar situation. Perhaps you are reading this, because you too, have trauma that is unfortunately an afterthought in the healing process. How do we navigate this? How do we hold such tragedy in our hearts without the support of our first line of defenses, our lover? I am taking your hand here. I want to write, no, I am called to write this, so you know this is not a confined trauma within you. I know your pain. I live with a pain similar to yours. While I am no expert, I would like to shed light on some of my struggles, and some of the beautifully sad advice I have learned and discovered along my way towards my personal recovery.
ADHD, Major Depression, Major Anxiety and Social Anxiety. Those are my medical diagnoses.
For many, the holidays are a time of love, joy and celebration. Filled with smiles, family, and good food. For me and many people with mental illness, it can be the worst time of year. Full of expectations, reflecting on the past year and having therapists on vacation.
The next decade of humanity will be defined by three mental conditions: Stress, anxiety and depression. This triad will take more lives in the next ten years than the first and second World Wars together and I was very close to be part of that statistic.
Collectively humanity is finally moving forth from an era in which mental illnesses were regarded as imaginary ailments, into an era where we are being forced to recognize that mental health is no less important than physical health. According to the World Health Organization, upwards of 800,000 people a year will commit suicide globally. That is one person every 40 seconds. Why is it that during this time of acknowledging mental heath, we are seeing more suicides than ever before? Suicide.org estimates that global suicide rates have increased a whopping 60 percent within the last 45 years, and continues to increase. In the aftermath of suicide, it is not uncommon to hear friends and family express their overwhelming shock, explaining that their loved one seemed “so happy and full of life,” or “they seemed fine mere days ago." My prognosis is that, even though society has recognized that we have a global mental health crisis, collectively we are still failing to understand what it really means to live life with a mental illness. It is extremely difficult for someone who doesn’t fight this battle, to truly understand what it means to be on the frontlines.
It's not all that uncommon to hear people self-diagnose a mental illness or suggest a diagnosis for someone else. It's certainly something that seems tempting, but is it accurate?
Yesterday, I wrote about how I discovered the practice of mindfulness. Today, I want to share how I use this practice in everyday living to make life beautiful, even in my darkest hours.
Your mental health is important. If you suffer from mental health issues, then know you are not alone. Many people deal with mental issues such as anxiety and depression, and it can take a toll on your daily life. It's important that you are upfront with your doctor about any mental health issues you may be experiencing, but there are some things you can do to help overcome negative thoughts.
I'll never forget the first time I heard someone call me chicken legs. Cause I tried laughing along with them. I thought maybe if I laughed and didn't show I was hurt, they wouldn't think I was weak, and more importantly, it would make me feel stronger than I was.
Divorce is never pleasant. Divorcing a narcissist is traumatic and causes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Complex PTSD. While every person who enters into a relationship with a narcissist is a victim of abuse, I will use the word, "target."
The feeling of shame is one of the most overpowering feelings you can ever experience. The definition of the emotion implies that you had to have done something, therefore, you feel humiliated or embarrassed. I'm sure we've all been there after doing something out of character, and you end up feeling shameful.
I am not exactly sure how to start this article, but I think that it is important to discuss the importance of meeting one's emotional needs. In fact, for everyday life, it is vital, because if your own personal needs are not met, you start to withdraw from your interpersonal relationships, and become what some call a hermit. While every once and a while it is okay to hide in your shell, you need to make sure that this does not take over your entire life, because it is unhealthy to stay away from people for too long.