How to care for oneself while grieving

How to care for oneself while grieving

Grief in its entirety strikes while you least expect it. The atrocity of sadness lies in the false notion of being alone and having it all together all the time. To be or not to be in the constant state of despair is not in one’s hands, as melancholy varies in its intensity ranging from a dejected mood to deep and chronic loneliness. Oftentimes people subject their negativity to a mere passage of time, but often there is an underlying cause that needs to be addressed and healed to become in a state of awareness of their emotions and innate being. It is important to bring light to the need to embrace one’s emotions and not shame ourselves with guilt when we don't feel happy or in rhythm with our souls. Often we lose the sense of self when surrounded by grief.

Here are certain activities you can undertake that can help you understand grief better and deal with it

Let yourself feel your emotions in their complete state of being- It is important to give yourself complete freedom to let yourself express your grief. When you allow yourself to feel your emotions in their raw presence and not shame yourself for feeling that way, you create a safe space for yourself which helps you understand what is body and mind demanding at that moment.

Address your needs at the moment- While your mind is in constant influx of emotions, to be able to know the right thing to do is difficult. In that sense, give yourself the comfort and safety you are craving. Whether it is your favorite movie, talking to a friend, or simply a warm relaxing bath, do what feels right to you at the moment which is not detrimental to your health and provides you instant gratification in the time being.

When you are in a better state of mind, try to understand what is making you grieve-

If it is something unknown, sit down and try to reflect on what made you feel that way. If the grief that sets in is because of a major downturn or event in your life that has caused trauma or pain, share it with your family and friends, or talk to a therapist who will help you understand the underlying pain and process your feelings better,

Take professional help if needed-

Talk to a licensed therapist or psychologist if the sadness persists and cannot let you function. As you talk to a mental health professional, the unhealed wounds that are attached to the event that caused grief or the underlying cause of your sadness can be detected. Be honest about your feelings, this helps lay a better framework for you to address your problem at hand.

Indulge in a daily routine-

When your mind is filled with negative thoughts, structure, discipline, and routine would be your new friends, setting a non-binding yet disciplined routine of how your day should go, would help you stay busy and be mindful of your time and thoughts.

Engage in leisurely activities-

Set aside time for things that make you feel grateful and alive every day. Engaging in your favorite hobby will help you to unwind and relax, and at the same time create a space for an optimistic outlook towards life.

Know there is no perfect timing to heal and to be okay-

There is no guaranteed day or time when the grief will completely leave its traces on you, embrace whatever will come one day at a time. Focus on taking one step at a time.

Celebrate the small wins-

Embrace the beauty of now, you are what you are in the present moment. Celebrate every victory of yours, no matter how big or small. Create the belief that no matter what happens I am with me with every small battle you win.

Know that your feelings are valid- Remember that no matter what you are grieving about deserves to be heard and is completely valid. Your feelings matter and how you feel matters.

This too shall pass-

Embracing the notion that no matter how dark the existence is, the light will shine in its radiance with the encircle of time, will help you remember that you will not just survive, but feel happy and thrive in your life once again.

Accept that life is for the living. It takes effort to begin to live again in the present and not dwell on the past.

Postpone major life changes. Try to hold off on making any major changes, such as moving, remarrying, changing jobs, or having another child. You should give yourself time to adjust to your loss.

Be patient.

It can take months or even years to absorb a major loss and accept your changed life.

Coping With Loss

Your mental health depends on how well you handle death. Grieving after a loved one passes away is a normal emotion. Letting oneself mourn is the finest thing you can do. There are numerous strategies for efficiently managing your pain.

Find compassionate folks.

Seek out friends and family who can empathize with your loss. Participate in support groups with people who have had comparable losses. Let your emotions be known. Communicate your feelings to others; it will facilitate your grief process.

Observe your well-being.

Keep in regular communication with your family doctor and make sure you receive enough rest and consume a healthy diet. Recognize the risk of being dependent on drugs or alcohol

Not now, maybe not tomorrow but someday you will feel alive and free once again.

_Hridya Sharma