Have you ever wondered if you (or someone you know) might belong among the illustrious ranks of the mentally ill? In particular, bipolar? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, despite the stigma, many people of great minds and accomplishments have been bipolar, or as it was formerly known, manic depressive. It is speculated that Winston Churchill and Vincent Van Gogh had it, and more recently, Russell Brand, Mariah Carey and Britney Spears have been diagnosed.
There we were. Racing to every convenience store, gas station, and local plaza we could find; posting dozens of the hundreds of flyers we’d printed stating, “MISSING PERSON” of my little sister’s disappearance. The headline was typed in bold, desperate red ink across the top. It was a distinct contradiction to the calm, slow beat of the blood my heart was pumping in my chest. I couldn’t compute where my sister would go, if she had eaten or showered in days, and why this trail of pain seemed to plague my family.
My darling, as I sit here and try to come up with a way to explain this to you, the first and most important thing I want you to know is that I am sorry. I am sorry that I failed you during this. I am sorry that for a short time, I wasn’t the mother that you needed me to be. I’m sorry that you’ve had to pay some of the price for my mistakes.
Why Supplements are Essential for Detox
We were taught all of our lives that mind altering drugs are bad for you and to stay away at all costs… except for when you have a mental illness of course. Then it's okay to change your brain chemistry and who you are to fit in better in society. After being on medications for about five years I can say that there are for sure pros and cons of both being on them and being off of them. And whether or not you want to be on them is a PERSONAL CHOICE. I don't care what anybody says, it's your choice to take them every day and yes, some people desperately need them more than others. I can see both sides of the story of both wanting to be on them and not wanting to be on them. There isn't a right or wrong answer to the question of “should i take medication”. Because yet again, ITS A PERSONAL CHOICE. Nobody has the right to judge you either way.
We try to make our time count. We fill in the blanks in the day, the minutes that rain, the minutes that leave. What would we do without those minutes? What would we have?
Over the years, I've had many negative emotions and experiences regarding sex. Here's a few ways I overcame those obstacles and created a healthier outlook on sex and relationships.
You open your eyes, sighing you come to the realization you aren't dead. Staring at the ceiling, many thoughts cross your mind, ranging from intense emotions such as hatred to elation, there are thoughts of death, why you aren't fucking good enough, and lastly death. There it is again, always in your life like a dark, gloomy cloud stalking you around. Today could be the day. You decide to finally get out of bed, the sheets haven't been washed in weeks, if not months. The floor is strewn with dirty plates, empty cans, and dirty clothes. The ashtray on your nightstand is almost over flowing, ashes all over the places, especially the floor when you were too lazy to ash. Posters cover the tar stained walls, black out curtains cover the windows, you aren't even sure what time of day it is. On your desk you find the cruddy old school alarm clock, that barely works. I states 3:00. You open the murky curtains to see it's dark outside.
Hey Reader, what’s up! Life is Awesome! Today I woke up and was like, "For real? I’m alive and it's my birthday!" I just turned 30 something years old today! June 26, 2020! I lived to do so many things even just today. Not things that might have seemed to matter so much individually but made all the difference in the big picture. Like many other things in life.
Below is a very short post I wrote on my private blog back in May of this year, about some of the hallucinations I experienced. Hallucinations are a form of psychosis. While generally, any form of psychosis will land you with a Bipolar I diagnosis, some believe that experiencing psychosis in a Depressive episode is common for those with Bipolar II. I experience psychosis in Depressive, Manic, and Mixed episodes, and that's one of the reasons I've been diagnosed with Bipolar I.
looks are deceiving I have known this for year's now. Growing up I always knew there was something different about me. I would have moments I felt like I had won the lottery, then I would wake up and feel like my best friend had died. My moods were always all over the place and so was I. The thing about it the only person who could tell was me... So I thought.
When I was born, I had medical problems. My right lung collapsed, and my heart stopped right as my mom was getting cut open to birth me. I was revived (obviously), and then I spent about a month or so in the NICU in an incubator.
Living like I do (out of my car) is a very humbling experience. It teaches me a lot about what to be grateful for. Who knew it was going to be so long for me to ever get stable. "Ever" as in, not yet. I have been unstable staying anywhere accept anything that is my own for the last 10 years. A couple of years I lived with my ex and his family and with numerous break ups I stayed in a few "motels", not "hotels", (note the difference). I consider my life disgusting and many would agree. Homelessness is not accepted by I believe the majority of those so fortunate not to be without a roof of their own over their head.