Bulimia and binge-eating disorders can be potentially life-threatening or life-limiting for anyone caught in the grips of the disease. People who binge-eat lose control of what and how much they eat and the intervals they leave between meals. This can lead to purging by excessive exercise, use of laxatives and diuretics and forced vomiting. 
Okay the other day was the first time I have made anything with gluten free sliced bread. (Recipe on my profile) Bread has always been a favorite of mine and I was scared to try gluten free bread in worry some that it would send me into a binge eating cycle or make me fall back from my diet causing me to eat regular white gluten filled bread. And let’s be real, it’s pretty hard to go from red lobster biscuits, to gluten free. I am happy to say I only ate 1 piece of toast though! Lets talk about that because this is definitely huge for me and hasn’t been that easy if I’m honest.
There are an estimated amount of 30 million people in the U.S. alone that suffer from an eating disorder. Approximately every hour, someone will die as a direct result. In the general population, there will be one person for every one hundred people to have some form of this mental illness. For dancers, it’s one for every five. Let that settle in your mind; that’s a whopping 20% of our dance community that deals with an eating disorder.
"Okay. Today's going to be a good day. You're going to be strong. You’re not going to eat," I tell myself as I stand in front of the mirror in my underwear. I turn left. I turn right. I twist my knees in to make my thighs look farther apart. I count my ribs, wishing I could see them all outlined against my skin without having to suck in my gut. I grab my upper arm, measuring how far around my hand can clasp.
There are two people inside of me.
This isn’t as easy as people make it out to be. People tell me to just be more active. To change my diet. Go to the gym. Work out. It isn’t that simple. It is never that simple.
I was 8 years old when I started my first ever diet, Weight Watchers. Before I had finished growing or hit puberty, I was already trying to make myself smaller. This sparked a long journey of crash dieting, disordered eating, starvation, and body dysmorphia. My parents were only doing what they thought was best, guided by the poor advice of a medical professional. If you are familiar with my story, then you know that they had already lost one daughter at this point. I think my changing body was a reminder of my mortality to them. I think we were all existing in a system that preyed upon this fear. I already had so much of my childhood taken away from me through the trauma of losing my little sister. Diet culture was right there to swoop in and take what little childhood I had left.
As a young woman, I’m made very aware of the social pressures that women face in terms of body image. Like most, I’ve kept an eye on my girlfriends and watched out for signs, such as restlessness and refusal to eat, that all hint at a potentially dangerous eating habit. However, last week, as I was scrolling through Instagram, I guiltily wondered why I hadn’t been as concerned with how my male friends perceive themselves.
Disclaimer: I am not an accredited nutritionist, researcher, or mental health professional. Everything within this article is pure speculation based on brief research, and without personal examination and consultation with a few professionals, I cannot say that anything here should be taken as fact.
This is my personal story of Anorexia.