Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; The storm after the storm.
Having PTSD is another weapon
Mom traumatized me to the extent that I subconsciously see her in everybody that I talk to. I didn't grow mentally up. But I had a hunch that something was wrong with mom since 6th grade when she was torturing dad for snoring. She wouldn't even empathize that snoring is human.
DISCLAIMER: This story may have triggering subjects for those dealing with PTSD caused by abuse. If you're struggling mentally please seek help. Your brain is just as important as your heart and needs professional care like any other part of your body.
The Aftermath of Abuse
I couldn’t sleep last night because of you. You weren’t here, in fact, I haven’t spoken to you in years, but healing isn’t linear and once in a while you’ll creep back into my brain that’s been trained to fear you.
Road Trips with My Family, or I'm Going to Kill Us All...Again
There was nothing like a good old Sunday afternoon drive. Bellies full after our post-church meal at the Midway, weather crisp and fall-like or sultrily summerish, off we’d go. Most of the time, it would be the three of us—Dad driving, Mom in the passenger seat, and me, often lying prone in the backseat.
The Narcissist’s Projection Game: I Know You Are, But What Am I?
I know you are, but what am I? The projection game. Narcissists love to assign others their character defects. In fact, it is almost like an attack of the body snatchers- people who want to switch places with you, so that you can be the bad guy (them) and they can be the good guy (you). It’s a mind-fuck.
Past Trauma Never Goes Away
Past trauma is something you can never move past completely. God knows I’ve tried. I try to not think about it or push it out of my thoughts. But deep down, all those insults and jabs linger in my mind.
I use to be perfect but it wasnt worth it. I’m trying to figure out whet works bests for me . But all I can remember is God made me imperfectly.
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 Some days, I experience EMDR as approaching a closed door, the rhythmic Butterfly tapping as the knocking (alternating self-tapping with arms crossed over chest, so that the left hand taps the right shoulder and vice versa in a L-R-L pattern. The bilateral stimulation opens memory channels, crossed arms and fluttering hands give a "Butterfly" appearance.)
10 Hidden Signs Of PTSD
The importance of being considerate of yourself. Some people live with PTSD for years without getting the right treatment or even a proper diagnosis. It is extremely important to understand what it is and be able to diagnose the problem. Otherwise, you can face nightmares, difficult memories, panic attacks, obsessive thoughts, fear for your safety, and other problems that will seriously worsen your quality of life. Sometimes symptoms do not appear until months or even years later, making it difficult to determine the cause.
Lost and Found
I have lost so many things over the years. From innocence to health, from my soul mate to music and from safety to security all those things that make you think you are whole and happy, I've lost them at one point or another. Even financial security went by the wayside for a period as life threw curves.
I will never tell you I need help.
This is an open letter to everyone - Please stop telling me I need to ask for help. If you really want to help me, just do it until I say stop.
The Story of ME...CFS
I have suffered many things, but none have been as awful as living a chronic disease. I have withstood many trials in life, but none would prepare me for this pain. I deal with pain every day because I am stuck in a dark place at home. Some might say that it is all in my head. Some might give me a hug and say it is okay. What I do know is that I am proud of ANYONE who has to deal with Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS). This chronic illness has left me trapped in my own body feeling like I have to push or pull the dead weight.