A look at anxiety in its many forms and manifestations; what is the nature of this specific pattern of extreme fear and worry?
Why is it that even at 43 years of age I still suffer from anxiety tremors. I can be out walking and feeling good in the moment and I am briskly just taking a walk and enjoying the air and the world around me but when I get to a place where there is a lot of traffic and a lot going on I get a tremor in my body where I lose my balance when I am walking and I just tremble all over which makes me look and feel like a complete fool.
Anxiety Has NO Cure
Anxiety can be something that is actually very natural within us. Anxiety acts as a mechanism at an unconscious level to help protect us from unpleasant feelings, threats that may lead us to danger. This is a very natural defense mechanism, and this is why anxiety can not be "cured".
TW: I will be talking about depression, thoughts of suicide, anxiety, and self harm. If these topics are too much for you please click away. If you’re in need of help seek out a professional. They will listen. Again, talking about triggering topics!
Pregnancy is a beautiful journey!
Pregnancy is a beautiful journey, but it also comes with it's struggles! I am currently 24 weeks pregnant as of this Sunday and let me tell you, this pregnancy has been a bit rough. This is my third child, but it's been a minute since I have been pregnant and had a baby! I have a 16 and 12 year old. My daughter just turned 12 in July, so it's been 12 years since I have had a baby. The struggle this time around has been real!
A Thin Line
There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I sat in my basement/recording studio mulling over this concept. One month behind on rent, three months behind on my car payment, no job, and no money in my pockets. I felt engulfed by the heavy pressure of responsibilities in this world. A resentment of the mechanical nature of my society burned passionately inside me. I simply couldn’t stomach the idea of doing anything that didn’t light a fire in my heart. I’d seen how others have been compelled to enter into jobs and careers that did not resonate with their true desires and dreams. To me they were no more than robots; shells through which no creativity or inspiration flowed. However, to the majority of the world that seemed to be the norm. So someone like me, who was following creative impulses instead of assimilating to the slave-like culture of the world, seemed to be at the very best lost; at the worst, insane.
She had the humor of an angel with a crooked halo with a face like the rock the halo had been broken on. She stood by me in everything and would defend me to a fault. We would stand side by side in the reflection of restaurant windows, and while passerby stared at her face in rude curiosity, I would silently mock them, knowing what her true flaw was: the flat expanse of midriff that she modestly hid behind her shirt.
Prologue Anything mundane, can turn the ordinary, into extraordinary. It's when we get fixated, chaos reigns. Chapter One
Too Many Tiger-Strewn Pathways
You’ve felt down at times; sometimes for very little reason. There have been times in your life when stomach-upsetting feelings of fear have surprised you. Maybe more commonly, you know the feelings of frustration or impatience. You’ve had these feelings because that is part of how your brain and body react to life. You are aware of having those emotions because they are electrical and chemical eruptions throughout your brain and body. They are the same reactions, though less intense, that happened to the caveman faced with a Sabertooth tiger.
Pros and Cons
When an unexpected brown paper box sat on my front step, my first thought was That it was a test from my therapist. I had started seeing Dr. Magee about three years ago after my boyfriend left me due to anxiety and post-traumatic stress taking over my life. It took him leaving for me to realize I had a problem.
The Theme of My Life
Anxiety has basically been the theme of my entire life. From my childhood into adulthood, anxiety, fear and worry have all been the theme my entire life. I would worry myself sick and still do. I have to force myself to sit down, breathe like my counselor and therapist taught me and force myself to relax. Sometimes it helps me 99% and sometimes it's just a little bit of a healing balm. In the moment, it does help but before I know it the anxiety and horrible scenarios are racing and attacking my brain. I worry for my loved ones.... I worry for myself. I am TERRIFIED of being alone, of losing the people I love more than my next heartbeat. The people I would die for... what if I am... one day without them? How would I even remotely deal with that? If some horrid accident took place? I'd NEVER forgive myself to not being able to see the future. Would someone break in while I'm home alone and try to rape or attack me? Would someone randomly shoot me or a loved one? And I'm not there! With them. By their side. I cannot bear their last breath, I can't.
My step by step plan to beat Anxiety in the next 90 days
Anxiety has been my archenemy for the past 24 years, and I am 24. Meaning that I have been battling it forever. But, with time I have realized what does increase it and what decreases it.
1. Now don't laugh at this because it will sound odd but it is scientifically proven: Place your face into cold water for at least 15-30 seconds. The shock of the water actually activates an evolutionary response that we have too being submerged. Your breathing slows, your heart rate slows and your body goes into a more relaxed state. It's called the Mammalian Diving Response. Read up on it if you like it really works!