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“What if… I’d Chosen Music & Drama?”

The most pivotal moment of my formative years, and how it has ultimately led me back to the road not taken…

By Orion J. ZedPublished 12 months ago Updated 12 months ago 6 min read
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“What if… I’d Chosen Music & Drama?”
Photo by Vincent van Zalinge on Unsplash

”Live from New York, it’s SATURDAY NIIIIIIIIGHT!”

And just like that, it’s official: the Copperhead from Down Underland is officially a household name on the other side of the globe, standing in the very same set as other legends of comedy, theatre, film, music, network television… and I happen to fill all those niches, and then some.

People adore the Gentle Ginger Giant from the wild winds of Whyalla, that tiny South Aussie town on the Eastside of the Spencer Gulf, now forever on the map as the birthplace of “‘Dis Goobah” since that infamous Rove interview, when I revealed playing the pivotal role of Red-Eyed Green Tree Frog in my Year 3 class’ rendition of The Night Before Christmas at the Middleback Theatre at the age of nine…

In the space of a week I’ve spent a day on the set of that popular program on the SyFy channel (you know the one), visited one of the Great Lakes (again, you know the one), and tried my first slice of authentic New York-styled pie (Do I need to say which one?)…

And that’s only the moments that spring to mind as I stand there, on this legendary set, dressed as a frickin’ rainbow-coloured slinky of all things, looking back fondly at the stepping stones - or should that be lilypads - that led to this moment, pondering which crux of fate ultimately set me on this path to success…

Of course! That crucial moment back in 2001, a year of massive shake-ups on a global scale, though my first was at a personal level, leaving me to make the then-toughest decision of my life… yes, even tougher than my decision to break up with my then-partner… and yes, it was mutual, despite the press’ bold claims. Why else would we still be such good friends? I mean… he and I were Best Men (Best Mans?) at each others’ frickin’ weddings, for cryin’ out ribbity-gero!

Now, where was I…? Oh, yes… the pivotal moment that led me on a path to becoming the G.G.G. from D.U.L., when all students had to choose just one of two possible extracurriculars, leaving me in a bind as to which one I should pick… naturally, it was a literal no-brainer, as I followed my heart rather than apply logic and perceived obligation to the decision, opting for Music and Drama, and becoming a figurative Red Giant Star.

Hm… I wonder how my life would be had I chosen the road not taken…

“What if I’d chosen Japanese instead of Music and Drama…?”

***

Another sixteen years, and what do I get? Another day older, and deeper regret… things should be better, that much is clear, and instead I’m left with the fact that, yet again, someone I’ve never met face-to-face has ultimately taken advantage of me, used me for their own desires, and discarded me like an unfinished symphony… or a simile that actually makes sense.

To say my life has been perfect would be a blatant lie, and I’m “too honest,” according to at least one person along the way, a criticism I prefer to take as a compliment. I mean, honesty is still the best policy, right? Nature abhors a liar, so the (paraphrased) saying goes…

After finishing secondary school, the plan was to take a gap year, then move onto tertiary studies; this eventually became a three-year “gap tenure” to provide extra leeway for preparation and figuring out what I’d truly like to be in this life, though a sequence of the most poorly timed incidents in 2008, aka “The Year Before I Leave the Nest,” ultimately left me homestuck in more ways and for a longer span than should ever be considered fair.

It’s only now that I’ve made startling revelations that, relatively speaking, should have happened well over a decade ago:

• I became scapegoat to a narcissistic parent and a borderline personality parent in early adolescence, and have subsequently been a target for multiple forms of family abuse well into my adulthood, with both emotional and financial being the most prevalent even now, and multiple attempts to resolve this issue having been attempted, albeit with only fleeting success to date

• I was diagnosed with the now-defunct neurodivergent condition “Asperger’s Syndrome” in 2001, the year of shake-ups on a global scale, and became “one with the label” despite having virtually none of the outward signs other than social anxiety, OCD, and above-average intelligence, when in fact I’d become emotionally introverted after years of bullying and abuse from peer, teacher, and family alike, suggesting it was all a misunderstanding-gone-misdiagnosis

• I spent years believing myself to be “broken” in terms of attraction, then discovered asexuality and figured that I “must be ace,” only to eventually recall the signs in my youth buried deeply in the metaphorical Narnia Within (as in “out-of-the-wardrobe,” ‘cos we don’t have closets here in Down Underland) that indicated my latent homosexuality, a fact that has contributed to the stunt in my now-reformatting social life

And to top it off, I’ve finally realised my true calling is in entertainment, bringing smiles, laughter, and just a generally good time for all, in whatever form it takes. I remember one moment back in 2001 where students at my school were given a choice between two different extracurricular pathways, and I’m almost certain that this was the tipping point that ultimately led to my following this not-so-ideal nil-path.

In 1994, my primary school introduced a “Languages Other Than English” program, the first of many experiments they’d conducted to revamp their whole curriculum (and also the first to which they’d subjected me, leading to my feeling like an educational lab rabbit for all eight of those years).

As a child prodigy who absorbed new experiences and knowledge like a sponge, I took to Japanese class in next to no time, a future Nipponophile and otaku in the making, though I had already dabbled in both Samurai Pizza Cats and Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, and my mother is an alumna of the original versions of Kimba the White Lion and Astro Boy, so clearly it runs in the family… but I digress.

The school ultimately pulled Japanese from the curriculum in 1999, the year before graduation and transition from primary to secondary, and I swore to myself that the first opportunity given to get back into Japanese studies would be taken in a heartbeat, though I’ve since come to learn that taking the first offer rarely pans out in the long run…

So there I was, torn between Japanese, a class I’d all but preassigned myself to resume (or start over, in this case) at the earliest available opportunity; and Music and Drama, a set of two classes that my heart urged me to pick… oh, if only I hadn’t allowed cold logic to take the reins in the heat of that moment, my life may well have been different, perhaps truer of self than it has been.

So now I stand in the moorish wallows adjacent to the road not taken, and left pondering one simple, yet deeply profound, question…

“What if I’d chosen Music and Drama instead of Japanese…?”

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About the Creator

Orion J. Zed

The quintessential struggling artist, emerging from a cocoon of abuse as the gold-hearted, silver-tongued, copper-haired social butterfly he was meant to be…

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