Pharmaceutical and supplement journey

Get on those antidepressants, kid!

I started pharmaceutical medications in 2020 (and no, not COVID-19 related) to ease some delirious symptoms churning inside my head. My biggest regret was research - specifically, a lack of it on my end.

After being told a condition I live with would never be reversible, the only option I was handed spent its time living inside an orange pill bottle with a child locked lid installed - ironic as that was how I felt before taking them; not an adult capable of making my own decisions soundly and safely, but rather a child being forced by medical professionals and family to 'fix whatever's wrong with your head and get normal’.

After a year-long stunt trying Aripiprazole (Abilify is its branded name), followed with a dash of Quetiapine (Seroquel) and finally trying the antipsychotic medication alone, I was manipulated into thinking an antidepressant would save me.

I asked about Omega-3's or any other vitamins that could assist with my well-being, but the psychiatrist simply laughed in my face and stated that this was the best thing for me.

Bupropion hydrochloride (Wellbutrin XL) was the final straw, staying on it for almost two years - even after noting about 5 months in that nothing was happening chemically and mood was flatlining. The depression also crept in twice monthly, but signs were ignored by the doctor who was supposed to help save this feeling.

This debilitating feeling stayed along for the ride with me as I travelled across the Canadian Prairies to live in British Columbia amongst the mountains. It's here where partying my socks off and developing a drinking habit, marking the beginning of a naturopath journey which pushed me to the joy I'm currently feeling. A thriving new career in sustainable agriculture policy also began, followed by driving across country to the hometown and moving back to toxic environments and beginning a strict therapy regimen. Sticking to a daily routine with those who are least toxic for me, moving into a safer environment and deciding to pursue a PhD while fully un-medicated and free from the system's neglect and mistreatment saved me; I have received happiness, at least partially.

Free to be ME following naturopathy

Nature is healing as they say, and the (not so wild) West taught me this in many ways; being able to explore the mountain ranges only a few blocks away, and sit by the river stream when anxiety was getting the best of me.

When I visited the first naturopath I began seeing, a new side of nature was brought to me - this time in the form of the food I eat, air I breathe and chemicals surrounding me. I won't get into any heavy details regarding the latter two things mentioned, but a complete change in diet in terms of eating fresh, local veggies and restricting meats to being sourced organically and pesticide-free, focusing on plant-based proteins, along with supplementing and seed cycling (for those who have female hormones within to support); I have never been as joyous and free-feeling as this in any lifetime, I'd bet.

Beware, though, as some doctors will still try their way at selling you products not deemed necessary until proven otherwise through testing and other scientific means than simply guessing. A slew of supplements were sent my way, draining my bank account and affecting my body in ways I'm not sure I could calculate.

Switching to a holistic practitioner saved me, focusing on nutrition, therapy and environmental surroundings as the key in achieving stability, something I had not ever known or believed to be reality. I wasn't fully trusting, though, and so I had one final go in the pharmaceutical world for mental health treatment.

Trying out a psychiatrist once again

My therapist had been pushing the idea of medications onto me, as it seemed impossible to treat any illness without a doctor's prescription; but we were both surprised to hear that the journey I'm embarking on is sustaining me healthily, balancing the brain chemicals through natural instruments rather than medications.

After being recommended to see a new psychiatrist, I expressed my concerns over healing in a natural way. We discussed several options that I was to research heavily and provide a selection for the next time I came in. Positively radiant that she encouraged me to take charge of research, I began and quickly I realized that this was not the area I wanted to continue my life in. Countless birth defects and hazards listed, not only for any future baby I have but theirs as well, along with appetite affects and possibilities for new illnesses to form. I didn't want to risk becoming manic to fulfill a lifelong dream of motherhood, nor rely on a pill to stabilize my mood if I travelled or became unable to eat for some strange reason. I was searching for a third option, which medical doctors could not provide.

I returned to the doctor a few months later and told her these things, and was surprised to hear that she fully supported my naturopath and therapy journey. A crutch along the way if I ever need it, she will always be a phone call away with quarterly meetings scheduled for emergencies.

Back to reality

After being supported by several health practitioners over the past three years, I had the faith to fully believe in each and everyone’s healing abilities, along with strictly following daily routines.

We continued taking the Cortisol Manager, 5-HTP, Omega-3's, Vitamin D and Magnesium I was supplementing with previously, and added Bach Flower Essence which was life-saving in ways I cannot explain. I never believed the depression cloud would lift again until it dropped within the first few drops - this liquid cure began providing healing within weeks.

Now while I don't recommend taking ANY of these on your own without help from a medical team, as this is NOT medical advice and intended for education purposes only, I do encourage you all to take an active part in healthy living, whatever that may look like for you, in order to become happy and free.

This is one neurodivergent's story, and I pray it inspires you today.

Now, if you want to talk addiction and alcoholism - that’s a different story still struggled with.

~

Copyright © 2023 by Kalina Bethany. All rights reserved.

THANK YOU for reading this vulnerable blog piece about living with Bipolar II Disorder and struggling to find the right medical support throughout the diagnosis journey.

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