Rise up to submit to the Commander.

i never knew you were watching

NAKED

I am a Lilith in a garden of Eves.

I see you there

Honey suckle lips.

You may know him as Mr. Mojo Risin, the psychedelic rock god of The Doors or you may know him as just a disturbing and strange artist who joined the famed 27 Club with his death on July 3, 1971. Both accounts would be true. Love him or hate him, James Douglas Morrison created a counter culture movement of rage that filled the 60s in stark opposition to the positive message of love from contemporaries John Lennon. Instead, Morrison tapped into the collective conscious of a generation enraged and disturbed by its wars and conspiracies and failures. Its betrayals.

When it comes to writing, words usually come pretty easy. As true as this statement may be everyone gets hit with cinder blocks that may prevent them from creating a masterpiece.

how does one describe

~

How would it feel to float

Readers discretion please be advised - This poem's nature and language might cause upset or trigger.

I love you. Why I love you I’m not sure but I know that I do. You break my heart. You abuse my love. You Use me however you feel whenever you feel, then you throw me out like trash. I always feel that I am everything yet nothing whenever you’re around. You make me feel like I am higher than god himself but you also make me feel as if I am lower than the tiniest atom found in the most meaningless item in the world. People ask me why I still deal with you or why I ever entertain your presence in my life. I have no answer. You break me you broke me. You ruined me and even after seven years of the same bullshit I still deal with you. You hurt me in ways that I only allowed because I loved you in ways you'll never imagine. I'm weak for you, slow for you, happy for you and low for you. I am nothing without you yet everything without you. You confuse me, anger me, irritate me, we argue I cry you leave and then come back. You change for a few months and I'm “happy” again. I brag and swear to my friends that you’re “different” this time. Nothing will be the same and you'll never make me cry again. Of course, that’s all a lie. Within a matter of weeks, I am stupid again. Within a matter of days, I am hurt again. Within a matter of hours, I'm broken. All over again. All because you I chose to ignore the signs. I took you back without even a second thoughts. I didn’t hesitate in the slightest. I love you today the same way I loved you yesterday. I look at you and see every memory good and bad. I only get bad because that’s all you give me and the good, the good I hold on to and that may be why I always go back to you. Maybe after all these years it wasn’t you and maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the one causing all this pain. Maybe I'm the one making myself be stupid because I crave the good memories.... that will never come. They’ll never arrive. All I'm left with at the end of the day is the happy memories. Nothing more. My only option is to leave you but I can't, I won't, I refuse to because of those damn happy memories with you. I hate you. I need you. I love you. I crave you. I live for you. I would die for you. Kill for you. Take a life and go to jail for you, fall to the darkest depts of hell for you and you wouldn’t even take a walk for me. But I would do everything in the world for you over and over again and I don’t regret it. I'll admit I'm pretty stupid but I'm only stupid for you. I love you and I just want you to love me back. Please. Could you please ever love me back. Right now, where’re good, happy, content. We laugh and talk on the phone together. Right now, you're nice to me again but I just counting away the days until you change again. Until you're back to that guy. That guy I hate but love. That guy I wish to see and be with. Every second of my life. I wish you would notice me and love me. I wish you would notice how much I do for you. How much I sacrifice for you. But you won’t will you? Don’t answer that I already know. I’ll leave you alone. Bye

CELESTIAL STAR

Exhaling

Rise up to submit to the Commander.

I enjoy my patio; my peaceful place

Some call it jealousy

NAKED

Everything changes or dies, they say,

On this moonless night, I closed my eyes and thought of you.

I see you there

Ablaze ruthless wrathful fire

Water flowing water

i never knew you were watching

In another time

About four years ago I met this guy

His seizer was

Parents can

Nights without eyelids closing

The life altering ripple effects from COVID-19 are now being felt

Covid-19,

At first we fought to survive

Honey suckle lips.

I used to have a little friend

A few times a day i visit

Small white pebble

Pondering past treasures gained

once, an old victorian greenhouse was tucked into a corner of a very old property, it's quaint domes and spires with slow melted glass curvy and throwing reflection in the torchlight.