I’m Zoe, I’m 19, and I’m an aspiring writer, filmmaker, & mental health advocate. For someone so young, I’m able to eloquently articulate my emotions in a manner that touches the reader in some way, & writing has always given me an outlet.
Cut it Out! Potential Origins of Self-Harm
Self-injury, self-harm, self-mutilation, whatever you want to call it, is a serious and addictive coping mechanism that people typically use to feel pain after a period of numbness, because they feel like they deserve to feel that pain, or simply as a means of coping with their struggles. I personally have a plethora of experience with self-harm. The intensity of the triggers can certainly ebb and flow. Sometimes I have moments of severe inclination to cause myself pain in some way. Sometimes I feel content and as if there’s no valid reason to harm myself. Sometimes I’m on the very edge of the cliff, and all I need is the most miniscule phrase or occurrence to push me into a mental hell encompassed with uncertainty.
Falling in Love with A Dog…When I Hated Them Before
Mark Twain once said, “The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s”. There are so many dogs on this planet that are purely, authentically beautiful, internally and externally. My own puppy, Kaya Rose Frenchman, is one of those dogs. She is not only my pet, but she is one of my best friends. She expresses her transparent, unconditional love every single day. She loves me, my brother Zach, my parents, my boyfriend, among other certain guests. She demonstrates how much she adores and admires her owners on a regular basis. Someone goes to work for five hours? To her, they’ve been gone for a week. She runs up and jumps on them with her purely authentic joy and excitement. Her precious and jovial energy is palpable and adorable. She never denies pets or belly rubs— she lives for that shit.
What I’ve Learned From my Relationship
This piece is dedicated to my beloved boyfriend, Theodore “Theo” Kimberling. Theo has undoubtedly taught me what love truly is, what it looks like, what it feels like, and what it means to be in love. Prior to initiating my relationship with Theo, which began on May 14, 2021, I was in an extremely toxic and unhealthy relationship with different guy— a guy who manipulated, gaslit, and cheated on me, and who certainly had a palpable superiority complex. I dated my only ex-boyfriend from October of 2020 until March of 2021. The emotional distress from the catastrophes of both the tumultuous relationship and the disorderly breakup caused by clear infidelity, undeniably caused me feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, anxiety, fear of never finding someone better, stress, deep depression, and a wide spectrum of other excruciating emotions. I felt like I deserved to be treated poorly— I had already been struggling with my self-esteem for almost the entirety of my life up until I dated my ex, and that immature slimeball truly enabled many of the doubts and worries that I had about myself, and reduced any confidence that I had in myself.
Curiosity of the Undiscovered
Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. Space— a phenomenal example of a polysemy. The word space can transport a person’s mind—or body—into a broad spectrum of universes…within their imagination…or literally. Space is deep, expansive, and vast. Space contains a universe of endless possibilities, opportunities, and discoveries.