The non-commitment in relations become common not only among those who are divorced but also among young people. The reason is the fear of repeating a failure in a relationship. In fact, such a reaction after a divorce is somewhat natural. But when a person spends many years in a relationship without commitment, it is worth seriously considering that this is not entirely normal. This is especially true among women since it is much easier for men to overcome this fear.

Hey, have you ever thought about dying?

Your instinct is telling you something is wrong. Your partner hasn't been calling you as much lately, your texts go unanswered for days on end, and when you both do speak, you're given excuses as to why you both can't hang out. Everything was going well until you found yourself noticing weird behavior. And now you're questioning what you could've said, or done, to be held at arm's length.

In the fall of 2018, me and my best friends Alex and Trent went on a 4-hour road trip to Jacksonville. We planned to spend two nights there for a Sierra West concert, an indie pop artist we’d been obsessed with since for years. Per our adventurous-but-broke nature, we had a tradition of piling all of our things into Trent’s jeep and hitting the road, all agreeing beforehand that we would take shifts driving. I’m not saying this trip was my self-actualizing, burning bush experience, but definitely one I won’t forget. Here is the story of how someone (who is both a stranger and family at once) subtly transformed my life.

The dolly writes introducing

Being in a toxic relationship can feel like a living hell. You don’t know if you’re the crazy one or if they are.

We all know the “-splaining” slang - mansplaining, whitesplaining, straightsplaining, and so on.

Even after a life changing event, banalities creep back in. The bins still need to be put out, the fish still needs to be fed. Almost a year and a half ago we were told my son had cancer. I wasn’t able to think a day in advance and yet, got through it. You put one foot in front of the other and suddenly you’ve run a marathon, (we’re not quite there yet, still only half way though). I couldn’t have pictured myself anywhere but in the hospital, still our new normal has unfolded. Vita continuat.

If you are a self-motivator, a sports fan, or simply a Sylvester Stallone fan, then chances are that you've heard Rocky Balboa's speech that he gives his son in the 2006 film. (Need a refresher? Check out the movie scene above. A written transcript of the speech can be found here.) A motivational gem, it has helped carry me through everything from sporting competitions to traumatic life events. While sports and difficult life experiences go hand in hand with the theme of the speech, it doesn't take much to see how it can apply to another aspect of life: Dating. Here is why parts of this speech really stood out to me in my dating days and why it can be useful for you too.

American Sign Language (ASL) has steadily gained more exposure through television, movies and social media. It’s estimated that around a million people use ASL as their primary language.

Romance is hard no matter how old you are, but high schoolers might just have the most difficult time with it of all. After all, the whole point of high school (besides, I guess, academics) is for adolescents to learn how to participate in the social world. At my high school, however, there was no class on how to date and make friends with other people. Instead, I had to learn everything through trial and error.

I don’t think it’s a secret that the MOGAI community is complicated, or that there are a lot of misconceptions about the many, many identities encompassed within that umbrella. From contention around the term "queer," to questions about what the “A” in "LGBTQIA+" stands for, there’s a lot to learn and remember and unpack—and a lot of misinformation to contend with. Moreover, when dealing with such a large community, it’s inevitable that you encounter differences of perspective and opinion, which unfortunately can turn heated.

Now, back to where our past helps shape us but does not define us:

If you find yourself in an altercation with anyone, there is no need to wonder whether you are right or not. You are always right! Yes, that is what I said, YOU are always right when recalling details for argumentative purposes. At least that is what I have learned in my recent studies. scientists say the human brain will only retain that which it deems necessary to retain, and that is about fifty percent of what "actually happened". Yes, only % therefore you ARE right when it comes to the % you retained. Your mind keeps what it believes is valid to you and the person you are attempting to have this discussion with, will do the same. To clear this all up for you, an argument will not reach a point of resolution when two people stand firmly in THEIR version. Suggested by a variety of therapists and gurus' I have been studying, it is wise to simply hear it all, pluck out the facts and simply focus on them.

,It was September and I was living in San Diego, CA, with my 7 year old son and an Italian man named Marco. Marco and I had not had a very good relationship as he was abusive, both physically and psychologically. He used to make me write lettters to his old girlfriends since his handwriting was not the best, and threaten me with his fists if I didn't do it. He was abusive to my young son and I usually took the brunt of that by standing in front of my son when he went after him, and refusing to let him hit the child who was scared out of his mind. Then I would be the one to get in trouble but that was better than having my son get hit.

Hey, have you ever thought about dying?

Grief. A five-letter word that brings with it an avalanche of emotions, feelings and thoughts. It feels like someone is constantly pushing down on your chest; like the walls are closing in on you and there’s no fresh air in sight. It feels like time, just like your body, heart and soul is frozen and you’re stuck in that one state. You’re stuck in that moment when your heart was broken.

The next morning I woke up at my house still basking in the glow of the open mic night. Sharla drove me home and she ended up spending the night. I could hear her in my kitchen cooking brunch. The smell of bacon, eggs, and pancakes enveloped my home with love and peace.

Your instinct is telling you something is wrong. Your partner hasn't been calling you as much lately, your texts go unanswered for days on end, and when you both do speak, you're given excuses as to why you both can't hang out. Everything was going well until you found yourself noticing weird behavior. And now you're questioning what you could've said, or done, to be held at arm's length.

I was smitten and in love. I should have seen the signs, but I was so attracted to him, I wanted him and I ignored the signs. Little did I know that I'd go though so much abuse and hell over the next 3 years of my life from 2002/2003 to 2006ish. As time progressed, he started to get violent. I can't remember everything in exact order but I remember all of the shit he put me through.

By the time I got home, I had cooled off. It was about 3:00 PM in the afternoon, and I figured it could never be too early to drink. I knew I wouldn’t get any more calls to come in from the hospital today, so I pop the cork off of a bottle of Moet I bought about a week ago and poured myself a glass.

The non-commitment in relations become common not only among those who are divorced but also among young people. The reason is the fear of repeating a failure in a relationship. In fact, such a reaction after a divorce is somewhat natural. But when a person spends many years in a relationship without commitment, it is worth seriously considering that this is not entirely normal. This is especially true among women since it is much easier for men to overcome this fear.

In September 2016 I met him. Good looking, strong, confident, tall, deep voice. I paid him no attention. Honestly I just wanted to get the day over with. A group of us were headed to a recruiting sub station to run what was called an initial strength test in order to qualify for the Marine Corps. He did so well and I did so bad that I was embarrassed. I didn’t speak to him until I graduated boot camp that December. I felt so motivated as most new Marines do. I was able to earn extra time off assisting recruiters with another new group of Marines, and he was one of them.

I will definitely get back to why I choose this particular quote at the end of my story.

Living in a small town means you’re most likely in the place where your great grandparents, grandparents and parents grew up and went to school. We all know the typical small town saying of “Everybody knows everybody” because it definitely holds truth and we mean it. You’ll probably have many run ins with your parents old high school buddies ready to tell you all about growing up with your Momma and Daddy.

Back to see me again? Glad you made it over this way, what would you like to talk about today? Forgiveness? Ok, let’s do this.

Dear 2019,

It was the first day of university for Jess and she had been worrying about it for weeks. The last few days it was the ONLY thing she could worry about as the date drew nearer and nearer. This was a relief because it meant that she could stop worrying about other things going on in her life. Things such as her ex Riley. He left for uni a few days ago and it kind of felt like another end to her. She pretended that she had moved on when she was with her family and friends, pretended it didn’t hurt when she heard his name and that she didn’t still think about him a lot. Walking across campus she wondered what he was doing now. Whether he had settled in, made any friends. Whether he thought about her at all.

It was once said, “to give much is to receive much.”

In the fall of 2018, me and my best friends Alex and Trent went on a 4-hour road trip to Jacksonville. We planned to spend two nights there for a Sierra West concert, an indie pop artist we’d been obsessed with since for years. Per our adventurous-but-broke nature, we had a tradition of piling all of our things into Trent’s jeep and hitting the road, all agreeing beforehand that we would take shifts driving. I’m not saying this trip was my self-actualizing, burning bush experience, but definitely one I won’t forget. Here is the story of how someone (who is both a stranger and family at once) subtly transformed my life.

Once upon a time there was a man who came from a ship that had been wrecked from his journey and washed him up to the seashore he wore an old white t-shirt with blue jean pants and his hair had long dreadlocks within his hair. He found the tools around him from the ship reck that also washed up on land he had a pick ⛏️ axe a hammer 🔨 and a wooden shovel as well and as he looked around so gracefully within the beautiful sunset he discovered palm trees in the distance. As he approached the palm trees he took his axe and chopped them down and separated them into two piles one for a cabin and the other to get out of the cold with to start a fire and boiling fresh water and cooking while finding food to eat and medicine to heal his wounds from the pain he encountered on his last journey.

As soon as you drove into East Harlem, also known as Spanish Harlem, you knew you were in a different world. The Puerto Rican culture was strong here. You could feel its rich history ingrained within its streets and its proud residents. The scent of authentic Puerto Rican food flowed out of smaller restaurants like Cuchifritos, and blew throughout the area, making the rest of us realize how long it has been since we've eaten something homemade.

In January 2018, I made the decision to come out as gay on Instagram at 17 years old. As much as I wanted to do it before this point, I could never press the button because I knew there was going to be a whirlwind of change. I wasn’t ready for BLACK GAY MALE to be a part of my identity.

I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't looking for someone who identified as Gray-Sexual (Gray-A or Gray-Ace is a term used on the A-sexual Spectrum as someone who doesn't always feel sexual attraction), but I wouldn't change it for the world. It was something I had to research and ask questions about. The biggest question I had to ask myself was if this would be something I could handle. As generations pass on they seem to expand their understanding, and we create new terms to help identify us and make it simpler for the older generation. We are growing as a society to be more open-minded by each passing generation. So, why do I want to talk about this? To help people in their research and hopefully release some of the stress and concerns you might be holding onto about dating someone who is A-Sexual Spectrum.

Being in a toxic relationship can feel like a living hell. You don’t know if you’re the crazy one or if they are.

What do I want in a partner? That's really a hard question that I struggle to answer. Honestly, I'm starting to think this is why all older people tell you to not get married until you're in your 30's, because you're still learning what you need and require in a partner. I'm assuming this based on the fact that I'm constantly figuring out and changing my opinion on what I require.

Christmas is a time of love and unity. Many of us give presents to show our love and appreciation to our loved ones. Yet, finding a great gift for your better half may not be as easy as you might think. You need to consider many factors. A gift that may be perfect for someone may not be that special for another. Everything comes down to one’s personality and the way of thinking.

The dolly writes introducing

These are two one-shots inspired by two different songs, Nu devant moi and Feuilles d'argent, feuilles d'or. One subject links them both: friends with benefits.

Jake dropped his baseball bat by the fence and grabbed my hand as we walked.

It was a simple Sunday morning, nothing special. Except that I slept in later than usual and didn’t emerge from my bedroom right away. Instead, I lay there relaxing and meditating while massaging my muscles for an hour.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about Love, and what it even is, because it is such a grand feeling, that really can't be explained or described, it's something that needs to be felt and experienced.

The rain could be heard pitter-pattering on the roof above. Trevor couldn’t seem to get his knee to stop bouncing up and down below the tablecloth in anticipation. He didn’t need to look around him to take in the beautiful decor of the restaurant: the maroon-colored walls and twinkling, romantic lights had already been appreciated by both him and Allison when they’d come here to celebrate their 5 year anniversary together. Since then, they’d returned several times.

Joy left her weekly appointment a little more worried than normal. Dr. Colin always left her with promising words, but today as she left, he seemed distracted by her folder. She saw the nurse and the technician writing rapidly, and heard them talking outside of her room's door. She tried to think nothing of it, the clinic was abnormally busy today which must've made the employees overwhelmed.

Here we go

Disclaimer: I have only been married for six years and I still have a lot to learn, however I would like to share with you ten things that I believe will help you set your marriage up for success in the long-term. Here goes:

If you’ve gotten into the New Year single, don’t despair. Whether you’re looking for love or trying to stay away from it, 2020 can be your year. You can find here a list of resolutions that may be useful for you if you don’t know how to spend the year on your own.

Before I met my recent ex I had been single for nearly two years. And as much as I wanted to be in a relationship I refused to meet anyone. I didn’t kiss anyone, didn’t sleep with anyone, I didn’t go on dates. I stayed away from it all.

8/23/2019 and 8/24/2019 and 8/25/2019

Before i begin this post, i want to state that I am myself guilty, of most of the points i'm going to raise. There is a considerable amount of judgement and negativity surrounding the use of social media, in partcicular it's rather unhealthy side effect of paranoia, insecurity & that cute turned psycho behaviour pattern [guilty guilty guilty]. However, I want to stress here how if utilised in the correct way, this attractive technology can bring about change [for the better] and influence society on a large scale, especially highlighting issues that affect the younger audience which we have recently witnessed with the UK election campaign.

Social media is a great tool to communicate and find interesting new people. However, many people make them the meaning of their lives. What if this is about your spouse and your marriage is on the verge of a divorce?

The Wedding: Two people in love, coming together. The idea of fairytale-esque true love manifesting itself for everyone to see; The symbol of everlasting happiness. It’s all over our culture, especially in the movies we create. Everyone has watched that romcom (you know the one) where someone asks the bride, “are you happy?” And she replies, tears building in her eyes... “yes.” Or that quintessential scene where some secondary character asks the reluctant lover, “do they make you happy?” But have we ever stopped to ask what these characters mean by the word “happy”?