Greetings. So like this challenge says about inner growth or personal meanings behind tattoos. For a long time I would argue not all tattoo's have meanings. Some get inked up just because they like the picture or art work and want to wear it.. forever. This is coming from myself, a man who has spent 20 years deep in the tattoo game as a tattoo artist. I've worked with the biggest names, tattoo magazines, conventions and even invented a few needle configurations in my time. I at one time truly believed that not every tattoo has a meaning.

The first time we talked, it was sunshine. Sunshine which flowed between us and connected us. Sunshine which only grew, minute by minute, hour by hour.

Long winding roads, leaves of oranges, yellows, and red full of amber and maroon. Tires speed down the blacktop roads, streaks of white and yellow whizzing by in a blurry daze. The foggy sky full of blackened clouds lifts only for a moment to allow a touch of sunlight to hit his face through the windshield of the car. Driving along with the radio on a low volume he hums along while thinking of her. His Autumn, the woman who's name still brings a smile to his face and fills his heart with joy even after all of these years. The saying is true: It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. Well this is his loved and lost story. It has been many moons since he last thought of Autumn. Her silky auburn hair, her vibrant smile as it shows her pearly white teeth, and her gorgeous ocean blue eyes. When he looked into them he would feel as if he was swimming in the deepest waters, floating into eternity, and as if he was as light as a feather before it falls gently to the ground.

The struggles of a toxic relationship that you’re not willing to let go can really break a person’s soul. I have been in a toxic relationship for 8 years. Some would say I have stock home syndrome for in the beginning I was locked away and kept from the world like someone who has been kidnapped and put behind dead bolts against their will. But like most I did not notice the red flag that slapped me in the face. The red that I saw was of love or so I thought. I was brainwashed into thinking that he was good for me regardless of the times I was choked for saying things that were on my mind. Being judged for things that were beyond my control.

Shit just isn't fair. You know your love life would be a great blog when all your friends encourage you to put it out in the world for all to hear your misery that is life. As I sit here at work drinking mediocre coffee at 1:30 p.m. typing the first of my possibly many stories to come, I cannot help but wonder if I should really do this or not... I should I decided I should. The real question is, where do I start?

Why did it happen again? But my hero of all people. He tells me things and does the opposite. I hate feeling like this I just want my boo. Why doesn't he want me? Lord, I want him please bring him back to me or make me strong enough to forget and still live. I want him I want to be with him, I don't understand I can't handle it give me the strength to not call or worry or continue my wishful thinking. God help me move on if we are supposed to be let him call me and say those things that will heal my heart let him be the one.

Yes, being alone does not mean I'm lonely at all.

What Is a Xennial?

In theatre, being a thriple threat means being able to sing, dance, and act. Although I did do theatre for a year in high school and have years of history earning gold stars on Just Dance, the only part of that criteria I meet is being able to act, and that's being generous to myself. For me, being a triple threat has nothing to do with my talents and more to do with my identity: Black, Lesbian, and Female.

Ever since Coronavirus, Covid-19, the Rona, or whatever you want to call it, came into our lives, things have been different – drastically different. Every day has become a collection of disconnected socially awkward moments with once simple tasks becoming a massive ball ache to achieve.

With a friendship rooted in racial activism, these American civil rights leaders exemplify Afro-Asian solidarity.

A year ago, I published a video called ‘If You Decide To Love Someone’, and currently, it has 2 million views. I believe this brought a lot of people together because the vulnerability that was expressed, and it is this vulnerability that connects us all as human beings. This is a good foundation to build a community on, because you will only ever be expected to be who you are. It also invites others to do the same.

It seems like when you are attracted to someone, it's hard to disguise it. Even when you want to play hard to get...we can't ignore the fact that this person makes us feel all mushy inside. I'm sure we all have been there...moving too fast, giving up the goods on the first night, and a lot more im sure you already have in mind. When I really like someone, I can like them a little too much. doing this could trigger some thoughts mentally that cant be easily controlled. This could cause a lot of heartache and pain emotionally if not handled with care (which trust me, I can relate to). These tips will help you handle the fragilities of your heart like grandma's favorite china!

Accepting you were abused is the first step to recovery. The mind must actualize the abuse and it may be hard to accept because it is traumatizing. Then you must forgive yourself for not understanding that the abuse was happening. Once you start to forgive yourself you begin to over stand the situation, because you can inner stand within yourself and stand up for who you are. The power of taking your power back is the sign of you recognizing your worth and, YES you are worthy. The next phase is dealing with guilt and shame, because of the treatment you allowed to be accepted, for you not know what you do when you are in the relationship with a toxic individual. Take the time to let everything sink in, and be gentle with yourself as you grow through this pain while in the process of healing. Now you begin to release the guilt and shame and send it back to the sender, but wait, pray for their healing as well. If the abuser actually heal is their choice it is none of your concern, continue to focus on you. Allow the experience to be a lesson to you and be grateful for it, and know you will not experience it again.

The topic that puzzles most humans. Are other humans. Right? Whether it is a mutual relationship or a romantic one we all want to know why they failed and how we can improve on others in the future.

Why did it happen again? But my hero of all people. He tells me things and does the opposite. I hate feeling like this I just want my boo. Why doesn't he want me? Lord, I want him please bring him back to me or make me strong enough to forget and still live. I want him I want to be with him, I don't understand I can't handle it give me the strength to not call or worry or continue my wishful thinking. God help me move on if we are supposed to be let him call me and say those things that will heal my heart let him be the one.

These days, as a man, it is becoming less of a spectacle to open up and talk about the way we feel and what is inside our heads. Although the feeling of nerves and doubt are definitely still present, it is easier than it was maybe 10 years ago.

When I was only thirteen years old, I experienced my first toxic relationship as well as my first heartbreak. It wasn't toxic because we were young and didn't fully understand the meaning of love, it was toxic because I was never good enough for that person and they lived to treat me as if I had less value than the dirt on the ground.

Facing the fire on the beach later on was not something I saw myself doing. After the horrible moment in the resteraunt where I had a mini break down with my friend in the bathroom we returned to our seats.

I came out the room multiple times and you were in the bathroom and on your phone so I just left you be.... I’m not gonna force you to get off your phone and spend time with me I’m not gonna force you to put the phone down and have a conversation with me. I literally feel like I have to compete with your phone for your time. And when I mention things like, “hello are we still gonna do this or that”, after hours pass and you are on your phone.. you look at me with attitude like I’m rushing you when all I wanna do is spend time with you. There are moments I literally have to pick up my phone and search and search to find something interesting on social media because I am unable to get your attention. I don’t mind you being on your phone but like.... I feel so alone.

I feel lost every day. I am still waiting to find myself after divorce and this period of uncertainty. I have all these boxes to sort through. I discover a different piece of the puzzle of my old life every time I sort though a box. I have no motivation to complete this task . It is difficult to see old things in a new place. I have all of the family photos. I guess he did not want to keep any around for a reminder. It hurts finding photos of us together. There were such high hopes of the future together. It was not meant to be.

Shelley has been through many hardships in her life but divorce has to be one of the hardest things that she has ever dealt with. Now we all know what divorce means but according to the dictionary it means to separate or disassociate someone or something.

Truth be told, deciding to get a divorce is never an easy task. There are so many things you must take into consideration, but you know what? It sometimes is an essential step towards your prosperity and happiness. Here are five useful tips on how to successfully cope with stress after divorce. Check them out and do what’s best for you today!

The Will

With his hand engulfed in his fathers he walked under the bridge of her colossal pearly-white teeth with his neck craned all the way back. His deep brown eyes seemed to scan every nook and cranny of her oversized head. Trumpets and horns honked harmonious melodies that flooded the atmosphere. A group of human-sized monkeys let out cackles of laughter as they manifested polyrhythmic beats on marching drums that sparked a pep in his step.

I'm 21 bear of a guy. Teddy bear or the bear is what most my friends call me an awkward cinnamon roll nerdy and open book. I'm told I'm an easy guy to get along but weird, my likes are anime, manga, webtoons, role play games, role playing and fighting games. I'm a writer working on getting my BA either in English or communications and work as an editor or eventual novelist. I'm recently Separated but working on getting divorced so just being honest there and always looking for fellow nerds to befriend. I'm a dork who loves to role play, write poetry and occasionally rant, life is hard but we'll get through it you know. I love topics in the fantasy variety, we'll discuss nerd theory along with philosophy or moral concepts and such. I'll occasionally rant about top ten best manga or webtoons, or start up a series about my wacky roomies. You can call me Blaze and hope we get along.

I wish you weren’t so far away. I’m not sure why you left. I’ll never be sure actually. I have so many unanswered questions but that’s okay, I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you. You’re my best friend. I told you from the very beginning that you will always be my best friend no matter what happened between us. Not even death. We were supposed to work the same job when I got out of college, we had so many plans, so many memories. But I’m still not mad at you. We had many late night conversations over the course of 7 years and they will forever be engraved in my head as you are in my heart. I guess I just wish I could come visit. I wish that I could see you one last time or hear your voice one last time. I wish that I could have said goodbye more than anything. Or that I’m sorry. I wish I could have helped you in some sort of way. I remember the day I got the phone call, your mom called my sister and my sister called my mom. I got the phone call on my way home from Lima (ohio) and I remember the way my mom sounded when she told me that I needed to pull over. She told me I needed to pull over because she knew I was going to break down. That’s not a phone call I ever wanted to get, it’s a phone call that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I remember feeling so helpless, like I couldn’t catch my breath. I still get that feeling around your birthday. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to get you back but I know that you’re not hurting and feeling the way you once felt anymore. I guess I find comfort when I visit your grave. I feel a sense of comfort when I see your pictures and your contacts in my phone which I will never delete. I carry the note you left me before you passed. It comes with me everywhere because that’s the last thing I have from you. I carry it because if not I feel like I’ve lost you completely and that’s not the case. I know you’re watching over us. I know you’re around. Some days when I wake up from having a dream about you I get sad and upset because they feel so real but I know there’s nothing I can do to bring you back. It’s the sad truth that you can’t love someone back to life. You can try, but it’s not going to work. I will forever do the things I do to keep your memory alive just like your mom does. Everything I do is for you because you helped me work on myself. You were there through tough times I went through. You helped me with things that I will never talk about again. You helped me gain confidence in myself. I just wish you were here now to see the things I’ve accomplished. I wish you could see the things I am going through and I want you to know that I will overcome any obstacle in my way because you helped me gain the confidence to do so. You might not know it but you helped me with so much more than you might have actually realized. But anyway just know that I’m not mad, I just miss you. I love you so very much. You can come visit me anytime, I promise I won’t be scared.

You hope that when someone comes along, that you can find a way to grow together and share yourself with them without prejudice. A match can start a fire, but two people can keep it burning for years, if they really want to.

For a good part of 2020, I've been listening and subscribed to Dr. Ramani on YouTube. For anyone who doesn't know who she is, Dr. Ramani is a psychologist who specializes in the toxicity of narcissism and narcissistic relationships. From what I gather she herself was in a bad marriage with her ex husband. They divorced in 2008. Although I haven't attended therapy since 2019, I can say that it has helped me tremendously along with Dr. Ramani's videos on narcissism. Unfortunately, I dealt with my fair share of narcissists and it began in childhood with the sexual abuse and molestation. One thing I learned about narcissists is they're very self-serving. They don't care who they hurt to get what they want out of life. It could be you or someone else close to them. In my case, the narcissistic people who I dealt with started rubbing off on me. I started being almost as cruel, careless and reckless as them. I was starting to hurt people who may have cared for me even if it was in their own special way. I still feel bad about it to this day.

Shit just isn't fair. You know your love life would be a great blog when all your friends encourage you to put it out in the world for all to hear your misery that is life. As I sit here at work drinking mediocre coffee at 1:30 p.m. typing the first of my possibly many stories to come, I cannot help but wonder if I should really do this or not... I should I decided I should. The real question is, where do I start?

On World Mental Health Day 2020, in a year that has truly been like no other, I took some time to reflect. To reflect on the year that has been. To reflect on where I was at within it all. And to reflect on how our attitudes towards mental health and caring for our mental health, have and have not changed within 2020.

She sat at her dressing table removing her makeup, she was exhausted. Earlier that day some memories popped up on her Social Media of people telling her how inspiring she was and how they just wish that they could be more like her. She remembered how then she was so motivated. She had so much drive, passion and commitment to succeeding and helping other people succeed.

When I was 11 years old I used to get butterflies around this one girl at school. I never knew why, I just knew she made me feel different. That summer her and I decided to experiment with a little making out sesh in the tent at my house. That was the last her and I ever sooke of it! We never acted different around one another and we were perfect friends there after. It just wasn't something we spoke about.

There is no way in hell this could be a made up story.

This again will likely fall into an area that people may find uncomfortable, or they may disagree strongly with my position. That is fine. Either of those results means that you are at least thinking about what I am writing here. That means I am achieving at least one of my stated “E’s” Enlightenment or if you just laugh all the way through, Entertainment. If I do a really good job I may also Encourage certain people.

Regardless if you're 21 or 32, most people have had some kind of checklist they created for the ideal partner that is believed to sweep them off their feet into the sunset.

I recently read "9 Rules For The Black Birdwatcher" and "9 New Revelations For The Black American Birdwatcher" for a college course. I really loved Lanham's style and the content. He wrote conversationally which lulled you into a false sense of security then BAM! He hits you with the hard societal issues that people don't want to talk about...because it's uncomfortable. I also recently came to the conclusion that if something is uncomfortable to talk about then it ABSOLUTELY SHOULD BE TALKED ABOUT.

Love doesn't need a day or a reason to be celebrated. However, any opportunity to express your love to him shouldn't be missed. Having a supporting best half in your life makes it ten times more thoughtful. Your best half is the one who is always there to cheer you up and share your joys. Valentine's day is the special day that celebrates the love shared by you and your husband. It is time to celebrate each other's feelings in the most incredible way. Presenting Valentines Day Gifts for your loved one is the best part of the celebration. Gifting may sound a little old-fashioned but it is the best way to express your love and feeling to your dear one.

Hubert Chlebek, ninety-two, puttled his walker happily down the hall of the Shady Pines Rest Home. It was Sunday morning, and that meant french toast. The smells came floating to him, and he imagined the scent as a gently twisting yellow puff of smoke in the air leading right to his nose. It smelled sweet and inviting. It smelled like a good morning to Hubert and he breathed it in happily.

"He cheats on me you know," Janice said suddenly. She appeared suddenly in the door behind me, a slouched form leaning against the door frame with downtrodden eyes burning holes in my carpet. I turned slowly at the sound of her voice and stared at her. At one time, I had pursued her. A woman six years younger than me, long dark hair, winter grey eyes and a smooth angular jawline that for some reason always reminded me of water with its fluidity. When I first met her always wanted to place my hand to her neck, hold her head at just the right angle while I pressed my lips against her skin, felt her blood pulse and quicken as my tongue caressed her skin. But that time had long since passed. Now I saw her as just another person, barely a coworker that I had to tolerate for seven hours Monday thru Friday.

Hey, all! Thank you for checking out my first post on Vocal. "Pull" is a short story I wrote that won first place in the MCC Creative Writing Competition, and, as a warning: it's dark. Proceed with caution, for beyond this point, there be dragons—of the literary kind. The human kind. The monsters within us, and that surround us, seeking to snuff out the feeble light within our chests with one pinch of their shadowed fingers. I look forward to sharing more stories with you, and our journey together, on our ship made of words, as we sail toward the horizon of storytelling.

The first time we talked, it was sunshine. Sunshine which flowed between us and connected us. Sunshine which only grew, minute by minute, hour by hour.

The struggles of a toxic relationship that you’re not willing to let go can really break a person’s soul. I have been in a toxic relationship for 8 years. Some would say I have stock home syndrome for in the beginning I was locked away and kept from the world like someone who has been kidnapped and put behind dead bolts against their will. But like most I did not notice the red flag that slapped me in the face. The red that I saw was of love or so I thought. I was brainwashed into thinking that he was good for me regardless of the times I was choked for saying things that were on my mind. Being judged for things that were beyond my control.

I never truly understood how difficult long distance relationships were until I was in the middle of one. It's not glamorous, it's not romantic, and it's no walk in the park. Honestly, I wouldn't wish it anyone but sometimes life just leads us down these difficult paths and we have to come up with ways to overcome these challenges.

Marriage is hard work. Please don’t be fool at the illusion Hollywood portrays about this picture perfect life. You know the one; Prince Charming for a husband, the perfect housewife for a wife and the most respectful kids and The nice little dog that seems to just be a friendly people person. Oh and let’s not forget the the husband and wife seem to never argue and they seem to always have it all together? Oh is that the dream you were looking for when you got married? Well wipe that dream out of your head. In fact forget it ever existed. Because in reality a true real life marriage consist of two people who are more than likely difficult to deal with to each other and the more than likely are flawed to know end but for some reason these two people just can’t leave each other and they genuinely love each other so they marry each other and find out shortly after getting married that those problems that used to be small problems all of a sudden become huge problems. Now you find yourself agitated and hating your wife or your husband’s guts because everything they do seem to be so magnified. If you are like me you wondered over and over again did you make the right decision? Well yes you made the right decision. You made the decision to make a commitment to the one person in the world who was willing to make a commitment to you. Now the both of y’all are finding each other’s flaws and you are focusing on the wrong the other person has done or the hurt they have caused you and you are overlooking to what extent have you done wrong and to what extent have you caused hurt to the other person. You know how you may sit and cry to yourself but do you stop and think how something you said or did may have caused your wife or your husband to cry or feel hurt? I bet you thinking the same thing I was thinking, what could I possibly be doing to hurt this man or this woman’s feelings right? Well believe it or not you may be doing things that would otherwise be no biggie to you but to your husband or wife it is detrimental. I know this because my husband has told me I say and do things to him that I find to be not that big of a deal and he swears I hurt his Feelings but then he will turn around and say some of the most nastiest things to Me and then think everything is cool. So in that sense I feel like we could learn to be more sensitive to the other person’s needs and feelings. My husband will say I hurt his feelings when I tell him to not touch me (especially if I’m sleeping and he sticking his finger in my ear, that annoys me to no end). For some reason that hurts his feelings. Although it’s no biggie to me, it may truly hurt him just like when he talk about how I eat or anything concerning my weight that really hurts me to the core because I am trying to work on breaking my habit of over eating. It’s really a struggle for me and I want to lose the weight and stop overeating. Moral of the story try to be careful of the things you say and do to your husband or wife because you never know how it may make them feel. Also don’t judge them for whatever they are doing especially if you know you have something that you do that is not right, and I will leave it at that.

We as women have been there more times than we can count (and the occasional man), but we complain and that complaint is that they are not helping us, or they act like a man child. I love my husband dearly but I do the primary cleaning, cooking, and dealing with the kids. While that was agreed upon with me staying home, it doesn't make it any less frustrating when I need help and he just does his own thing.

Does my husband love me? Does that sound like something you've been wondering about lately? It can be difficult to know exactly how your partner feels if he or she is uncomfortable and loyal to you. Men are known for their closeness when it comes to expressing their feelings and that often leaves their loved ones confused and unaware of the relationship. There are ways to see if he still feels as close to you as he did when you were married. Once you know the signs that he no longer loves you, you can decide what your next move should be.

From the moment when we turn 18, newly graduated and ready to take on the world, we are left with a multitude of choices regarding how we want to live. For some, it's as easy as getting married, having children, retiring, and you know the rest. For others, it's just not that simple. The idea of marriage scares the living you-know-what out of people. So, they choose to live most of their life single and living alone. But to some being 'alone' usually gets confused with being 'lonesome'. Let's get into why they are mutually exclusive.

Self-worth, or a lack of it can lead you to places of doubt, pain or taking action that simply isn’t good for you.

I never like to leave things unsaid. Chances are that those of you reading this have some level of understanding on just how awful it feels when we are not gifted the opportunity to say our last piece. In fact, you might even know just how it feels to have your feelings and expressions floating around you in limbo with no clear direction at all.

There's freedom in anonymity, as most anyone could probably tell you. Heck, it's one of the only reasons I'm able to write this article to begin with! This sense of being able to voice opinion and say things that might feel silly or stupid in my head, but with the opportunity of an audience for validation or connection? I mean... Sign me up!

So Trump got Covid.

In the social media age, the importance of a healthy conversation is lost.