Matthew Curtis
Bio
Queen Margaret University graduate (Theatre and Film studies).
Currently trying to write a book.
Lilywhite, Pokemon master, time-lord, vampire with a soul, Virgo.
Likes space and dinosaurs. And Binturongs. I'm very cool.
Achievements (1)
Stories (34/0)
The Crocodile
The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window. And that is how, I have morbidly been taught, the boy lost his life. The ignition of a humble flame that flickered in solidarity with renewed hope. The promise of warmth, the faint notion of salvation. Naught but a rancid deceit and the very forgery that would almost claim the life of mine very own.
By Matthew Curtis10 months ago in Horror
Is it June yet?
Unai Emery and Aston Villa are chasing a historic return to European football. In particular, a competition that is something of a proficiency of their Spanish gaffer. After today's action, is there any doubt left that Emery and Co in Birmingham will offer more to the Europa League than managerless Tottenham Hotspur will? Today, our motivation was nothing more than to stave off the threat of Europa Conference League condemnation next season. To the eye, it appeared our players in reality concluded today to be little more than the negotiation of another arduous day in class before the Summer holidays. I can hardly blame them. I too had my eyes glued to the clock.
By Matthew Curtis11 months ago in Cleats
A Right Royal Rumble
Now I'm not much of a monarchist, but I must admit, when the national anthem began minutes before kick-off, I joined in with my own revised rendition; God Save Tottenham Hotspur. I genuinely feared that come 5pm, I'd be watching scenes of celebration being led by Roy Hodgson, a man who could have been banished from England on two occasions, made possible by the efforts of a resurgent Crystal Palace.
By Matthew Curtis12 months ago in Cleats
Winter Has Gone
The year is 2022. Tottenham Hotspur are an English football club participating in the Premier League. They have a rich history of glory, an incredible new stadium with training facilities to match and some of the best players in Europe at their disposal. The problem? They can only play one half of football at a time. Remember those days? Even just the one half of football has been hard to come by lately.
By Matthew Curtis12 months ago in Cleats
A Walk in St James' Park
Thank the heavens Trippier got rinsed for Kane's goal. Southampton's valiance on Friday evening laid something bare before a ball on Sunday had even been kicked; Tottenham are the worst coached team in the league. Spurs would surely be floundering somewhere in mid-table, as Chelsea are now, were it not for the exceptional efforts of Harry Kane. If he does not leave this Summer, I will have to conclude that he has had all ambition and belief beaten out of him by the club.
By Matthew Curtis12 months ago in Cleats
Wait For the Whole Thing to Blow Over...
There are two reasons we have won this game. Son and Kane. Actually, make that three. We must not forget our defender of the season; VAR. Yes, the same VAR that lets us down most weeks, just like the bulk of our actual defence. Wait, make it four reasons; plot-armour.
By Matthew Curtisabout a year ago in Cleats
1 down, 9 to go
What a devastating year 2023 has been for Tottenham Hotspur. So far, we have been humiliated at home in the North London derby, lost Richarlison, Bissouma, Bentancur, Davies, Sessegnon and Royal each to long-term injury, been knocked out of the FA Cup by lower league opposition, parted ways with Italian manager Antonio Conte (who at this time one year ago was our messiah) and have also had to suspend Director of Football Fabio Paratici for the delivery of world-wide ban for crimes committed at Juventus. It is only April 3rd.
By Matthew Curtisabout a year ago in Cleats
Vard Luck
Sing it with me; Var? Huh. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. But with six goals, 4 early subs and a late penalty, one might expect to come away from such a contest feeling at the very least enthralled by elite-tier English football action. The truth is, this league is a shambles and what the Premier League might believe to be the gold-standard of domestic football, is in reality, miles off it. As are Tottenham, gunning for a top-four push, but would be miles off it, were it not for the comparable scarcity of competence found across London, Liverpool and much of the rest of England.
By Matthew Curtisabout a year ago in Cleats
Walking the Walk
If Tottenham's Premier League campaign were a television series, then today's story was one of those episodes that is dedicated to a fringe member of the cast, a person who's mythos is largely unknown or irrelevant. Think Doctor Who's Love and Monsters or Blink, Buffy's Superstar, that episode of Futurama about Fry's fossilised dog. Today, that guy was Richarlison, who provided practically all of the intrigue about this week's rather dead-rubber affair with his somewhat explosive interview following the midweek disasterclass versus AC Milan. He laid down the gauntlet to Antonio Conte, demanding more game-time and Conte accepted the duel. Richarlison's inclusion in the starting 11 was the Italian's reply, go on then, show me something.
By Matthew Curtisabout a year ago in Cleats
A Season's End
What are some of the things that can go wrong in a football match? Well, why don't we just consult the encyclopedia we were able to build from those 96 minutes? Poor standard of football - check. Slow, ineffective tactics - check. No goals - check. Red card - check. Elimination - check. Outraged fans - check. It had everything apart from an injury, but lets wait to see if Romero's foolish assault got him a two-for-one? It was one of those games. The kind where I'm wondering what I show up for, wondering why the sport looks and feels so bad and then I realise its because I've been demoralised to the extent that I now only tune in to watch the Tottenham echo-chamber out of loyalty.
By Matthew Curtisabout a year ago in Cleats
The Chides of March
Those of you preoccupied by the larger-scale questions of the world - the meaning of life, the validity of deities, how the universe began and how it may end - I invite you to keep a close eye on Tottenham Hotspur for your answers. For the last few weeks we have been living vicariously in the bubble universe of Cristian Stellini's implausibly triumphant Tottenham. This week, visits to Sheffield and Wolverhampton have seen that universe come to an end. That bubble has burst, and with it, might come the end of another.
By Matthew Curtisabout a year ago in Cleats
