I was twenty-three when I received the keys to my first studio apartment at Three-Forty-Seven Manhattan Avenue. No kid my age could afford such a thing. Especially with a record under my belt. But with Willie’s help at the time, he managed to get my record expunged and forced me to use the certification I gained during my two year stay in jail to get the kind of job that could help me pay the bills. Who knew learning about how to fix computers and shit would come in handy. Of course just fixing broken screens and replacing dead batteries weren’t enough to sustain the rent alone. Willie helped me get into a city program that paid for at least half and the rest I had to cover. Hence where RideShare came in. I’d heard about it one day while grabbing a quick bite to eat downstairs at the corner store and managed to get the details from the store owner who frequently used the ride service. Not too long after that, I was part of the RideShare explosion and picked up passengers from the airport almost every weekend when I wasn’t working at my other job.

No matter if you’ve been in a relationship for years or just a few months it’s second nature to read into the gifts you are receiving from your partner. The old adage “it’s the thought that counts” couldn’t be truer than when it comes to giving in a relationship. It doesn’t matter how much something costs or what others think. The best gift one can give their loved one is something personal, something that holds meaning or something that represents a shared experience. Now that that’s out of the way, here are some common gifts exchanged between partners and their perceived meanings.

It’s the night of your Circles release, and I’m emotional.

Our first date night was supposed to be at a cafe. He called it an eclectic cafe spot. Knew from his texts he was going to be a cool date. He was going to meet me on a Friday night when he usually spends it with coworkers after going out to bars or anything they come up with. He decided to go with me What a a lucky girl I thought. My knees bucked up and I was shaking all over he could sense and visibly see me. I was super nervous and excited though. Our spontaneous date didn’t quite work out I had work the next day super early. So we postponed, I made sure he still set a date to meet! I didn’t want to miss my shot at meeting him. We ended up meeting on a Monday I believe it was one of the days I had off. I got their early and looked nervously through the window, he texted me saying he had gotten a table for us. I saw him and I was In shock he was so much more handsome than his profile picture. I said hi then ran to restroom in this small pretty story book cafe spot. He made me feel comfortable and helped order food. Once I calmed down we had such a great conversation I didn’t think I could have with someone let alone of the opposite sex. He was like a Dream sure he said some weird things at some points but I ignored them. He looked at me with loving eyes I don’t think anyone has ever made me feel that way. He was a major flirt and I tried my best to flirt. By fitting I grabbed his hot tea and dipped in a sexy way kind of cringe worthy. He didn’t mind or a least mention that I was weird. Made me feel wanted and loved. I was in a ruff spot in my life at the time, thought I needed to have everything figured out being in my late twenties. He was my first date ever. He kind of spoke life into me, if that makes sense. We spoke through texts after this great date I swear it was like eating the best chocolate cake with tons of sparkly sprinkles. He said he wanted to continue seeing me. I was over the moon excited. He was going to go on a trip to Japan and said he’d bring me something back! I was excited he even sent greetings from Japan in a form of a photo. I waited to text him till he came back. Finally after a while he set a date for our second date to a concert. He picked me up from my house he mentioned he didn’t really want to come because he was having such a good time at a baby shower. I felt a little bad about myself but I didn’t say anything. I wanted to go out I didn’t have any other plans I probably should of stepped out of the car. We went on about our date he took me to eat first. He talked a lot and was kinda judgmental of others surrounding us. But I was so in love with him even the way he walked made me like him he moved like he was dancing. We went to the show and spoke a little had alcohol which I don’t really drink. He was nice about it. He held my hand to guided me through the crowd I felt like such a boss babe I almost died. He mentioned he needed gas and I said let’s! While he was putting gas it started to sprinkle out. I was in the car as I made eye contact with him he opened the passenger door and sat down. I felt his chubby back side. He said to me, I want to connect can I kiss you and I said yes. I had mentioned earlier to him that I had not ever had a boyfriend and that he was my first date ever. It was a simple peck on the lips it was perfect. Then he got back in the drivers side and with an excited smile said if he could kiss me again and I said yes this time it was sloppy and he said ,“was it weird” I said no even though it was. I felt so good to feel loved and liked! As we were driving on the freeway he asked me if he could hold my hand and I said yes! He was the best hand holder! As we were close to my place he said I want to kiss you! And I said let’s find a good spot and we made out. I cried as he gave me all the types of kisses there were. I mean name them French kiss butterfly kiss. It was better than the movies! He was laughing I was laughing. It was like two in the morning when our date ended. He mentioned he wanted to see me again and of course I said yes. We texted the next few days. As I was getting ready to go out I checked his location and he was in Vegas! I lost it, I cried and felt my body get hot. I texted him and asked him where he was at and he said working, he had lied to me. My feelings for him had left. I was devastated, he didn’t know I knew. Days passed I mentioned to him we should go to beach he agreed. We were texting and I told him if he liked me and we were agreeing on starting a relationship! I was crying and excited. He wanted to meet to celebrate it was pretty late at night maybe close to midnight. We went to the beach, we had a great time I had feelings for him all over again. He was polite and a gentleman. He even twirled me around. We had a good times together. We made out again. We parted ways. We texted the next few days then out of nowhere he saids he doesn’t think it’ll last. I was crying through this whole process of him dumping me and all the reasons why it wouldn’t work out and how he wanted to just be friends. We’ve texted for a while but I knew he’d break my heart and hurt me. I knew I couldn’t be friends with him. Then came a day when he no longer replied to my texts. I’m trying not to lose hope, still waiting for prince charming to come who ever that may be! Tips would help or advice! Much love.

Back to see me again? Glad you made it over this way, what would you like to talk about today? Forgiveness? Ok, let’s do this.

In this episode I am driving to see my grandson after his second heart surgery and he’s only 6 months old. Hearing of his serious heart condition and watching my son and his wife go through such a terrible circumstance, I realized, I had to do better. I didn’t feel that where I was in life was where my family needed me to be. I was on a journey to discover who I was and what I needed in life.

Leaving your town for whatever reason, whether it is college, work, military, etc., is difficult as is, but having the distance between someone you love is just as hard, and in some cases, harder. I’ve had this happen twice. One relationship lasted five years (two of those years being after moving,) and another lasted a little over two years. Those were the WORST fuckin relationships I’ve had. Both of them I knew before moving. But the guy I’m with right now, was my high school crush. He was the extremely athletic, everybody loved him, and so fuckin handsome guy, and me, I was just somebody everyone knew of but never got close to. Hell, that’s the story of my life quite honestly. So, it’s safe to say, we didn’t really know each other when I moved. We didn’t know each other until THREE years after I moved. He slid in my DMs. BOYYYYY was I happy. I wanted to just lick his entire body up and down, making it pretty far down before he took over. But I composed myself and messaged him back. I had just moved to my apartment on my own with my husky— Ollie, with no furniture and knowing no one. He asked me if he could come help me and slept on the floor with me for three days. As much as I wanted him to fuck me, we didn’t. He was genuinely interested in me and I... well I just wanted his dick. After he left, I didn’t talk to him for a few days until he messaged me. I’m so glad that he did. Now this distance relationship has not been easy by any means, but it has been worth it. So the big question really is, are they worth it? You have to be able to have a lot of compromise, trust, and communication. To this day, we are still working on all of those factors but my advice, do NOT give up on someone who is still trying. Change does not happen in a day, and hell, it doesn’t happen in a week in most cases, but you have to be patient. In a little over a month, we will be moving in together and I wouldn’t rather live with any other man. Through our ups and downs, I’ve had to weigh everything out. So ladies, if you have an amazing man and you’re just scared of the distance, don’t give it up unless you’re both tired of trying. Men, make sure that she’s treating you right and not harboring things that are not in your control against you. Love each other because at times, it’ll feel like the world is pitted against you. When you’re finally able to spend time together, whether it’s a week or once every six months, it’ll all feel worth it. And let me tell you, the best sex is that “I missed you” sex. Go on a walk or two, cook dinner together, buy some wine or champagne, fuckin value that time because with someone who is worth it, there is no better time. With distance, do not waste your time on someone you do not feel is worth it because then, it just leaves a bad impression of distance relationships. As cliche as it is, it is really about how you truly and honestly feel about the person, not how you feel about the miles. Do not listen to the negative nimrods that say it’s not a good idea. Listen to your gut and the way you feel when you are finally with him or her. Be persistent. Communicate. Compromise. Stay faithful. And most of all, love recklessly.

On the 28th of April 2018 is the last time Jessica used the electronic swipe card device to enter her apartment. She was gorgeous and young, had just turned 24 on the 1st of January but we were having serious problems. Jess had a very traumatic and uncaring childhood which I will only detail so much as well as her life and our relationship as to respect her memory and family purely out of my own moral line as I have no respect for theirs as it is incredibly low. To her mother, I have some small level of understanding why on earth you could be so careless and leave this beautiful soul in a world of hell as a child. For informational purposes Jessica and myself are from Melbourne City, Australia.

A new Month, a new a new Year, a new Cycle.