I lost my virginity in an alley way, got fingered for the first time under a tree, and sucked my first dick in a park. I fucking love nature. However, as the seasons change, so do my flaps, and I haven't 69'd a private school boy in about 6 years.
We’ve all been in relationships. Some good and some bad but the reality is that it used to be a lot easier to meet people. We’d meet after work for happy hour at the local bar, then maybe go to dinner and perhaps even a club afterwards. Now, if you are anything like me, you’ve hung up your party hat many years ago. I’ve even gone so far as staying single for five years on purpose. I know, imagine that?! With great awareness comes great solitude and after being aware that I was the problem, not my ex-boyfriends, I decided to do some work on my inner self in Bali where I lived for 5 years. I’d like to say I’m a Guru but I’m not. I’m just a girl standing in front of my iPhone 11 Max asking some stranger to swipe right ;). With a good profile pic and a pretty generic bio...I set up 3 different online dating accounts and without naming them (of course if you ask me to I will) I began the search for my perfect man. Not perfect in general, just perfect for me. I actually put that in my profile bio, that along with some ex-modeling photos, I got hit up pretty hard for dates. After two months, I’m no longer single but I did decide to come up with this list of the 10 Do’s and Dont’s for men that in my opinion are deal breakers. You can either use them, laugh at them or criticize them...whichever you prefer (but the ladies do agree so you decide) and here they are...enjoy!
It's funny to think about how dating has changed in that last 10 years so drastically. The idea of meeting someone IRL is almost preposterous and now our thumb or index finger has become our true arbiter of love. Online dating is a gruesome undertaking. It takes you on a rollercoaster quite like no other. The dopamine hit that you get from a match is unparalleled but the inevitable first ghosting you experience where you are filled with a sour feeling of violet rejection makes you want to roll up into a ball and watch reruns of Friends. To counteract how humdrum this undertaking is I've decided to create a memoir to document the highs and lows of the carnival ride of love. So as promised, here's date 1.
If you have ever used a dating app or signed up for a dating website, you will know that there are constantly things being said on there that make you want to roll your eyes and smash your face into the wall. Or is that just me? All I know is that there are certain things that guys online will put in their descriptions or say over and over, and I want them to know that other guys are using these lines too, so you all should just stop.
Omegle is a free web browser based text and video chat service that lets you interact with people around the globe. All of its services are free and there are tens of thousands of people online at any given moment. The primary purpose is to chat with new and interesting people to make friends based on a completely random selection. The chat and video interactions are monitored due to the fact that there are predators that use the service.
When you're young, it seems like the opinion of others are very important. At twenty three, I find myself weighed down with the expectations of others. I've been told that there are no expectations, but as humans we can't deny the hopes that we have for other people. Maybe those are our secret expectations.
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