Youre sitting in a coffee shop sipping on a late while two people behind you carry on a conversation that sounds like an email would’ve sufficed. The barista making their coffee smiles as she hands over the cup filled to the brim with what you’d later find to be the only coffee order you care to remember. You eye them from across the shop and feel the need to close your laptop and at the very least, say hello. Ten years down the line and you’ve got an amazing partner and some annoying but still amazing children and you think to yourself, “Wow, good thing I had that mocha all those years ago.”
Social networks change the way we relate to each other, but the changes are so fast that we don't even think about new rules of etiquette to know what should be done in one case or another. That's why when a friend recently told me that she saw my boyfriend in Tinder, the truth is that I didn't get angry out of jealousy.
In the summer of 2012. I met a younger man for a relationship on Craigs List. He was very tall and blonde and very good looking. He was 24 and I was 58 at the time. He looked like a fashion model. He was a gay man from my area. He didn't have a car or a job or much money. I met him and took him over my place. We talked and seemed to hit it off. I then took him for some pizza and took him home. He seemed nice but a little strange.
I talk a lot about dating ‘rules’ in my writing and how unnerving it is that we have become too particular about how to date, who to date and how to maintain mutual connections. We rely on rules and regulations, tips and tricks to secure positive dating experiences or ‘make’ someone fall for us. Be it our own precarious stream of consciousness - swooshing about ideas of who we think would be ‘perfect for us’ - or those superficial and outdated ideologies conjured up by other people.