Joan Gershman
Retired Educator - Substitute English Teacher; Special Education Assistant; Speech/Language Therapy Assistant
Website Owner - www.thealzheimerspouse.com
Whimsical essays, short stories -funny, serious, and thought -provoking
Caregiving for a Spouse With Alzheimer's Disease
This was written on March 18, 2013, 5 months before I was so emotionally, physically, and mentally drained of any vestige of the capability to care for myself or my loving husband another minute, that I made the heartbreaking decision to place him in a nursing home:
Joan GershmanPublished about 8 hours ago in Families
Blonde Isn't Always the Answer
I am excited to report to you that I have something in common with Queen Elizabeth of Great Britain, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jane Fonda, and Ali McGraw. No, I possess not a drop of royal blood. Of that I am certain because Ancestry.com confirms it. No, I am not a scream queen actress, an Oscar-winning actress, or a Love Story actress. What I have in common with these noteworthy women is………………I have allowed my hair to grow out to its natural silver color.
Joan GershmanPublished a day ago in Blush
Customer Service Revisited
“May I help you?", came the friendly, easily intelligible voice over the phone. “Uh, um, yeah, I guess”, was my hesitant response, so surprised and unaccustomed was I to talking to a live customer service agent. Still unsure that this was not a highly sophisticated “bot”, I carefully explained that I had purchased a 16-bottle spice rack from their company, Kamenstein Spice Company, 6 months ago, that I was running out of my favorite spice, and I would like to order more. The nice lady explained that their company had set up a website, where I would need to go to register, then order whatever I wanted. “BUT”, she said, “Since we’re on the phone, I will do the registration for you and take your order.” “You will?”, I asked, incredulous that I was talking to a live human being who was being helpful, conversational, not reading from a prepared script, and speaking perfect English that I could understand. For the next 15 minutes, we chatted about the spices and cooking, while she registered me, took my order, and explained that replacement spices were FREE, with just a $4.95 shipping charge for the WHOLE order, not each individual bottle.
Joan GershmanPublished 2 days ago in Journal
I Earned an "A"
“You are an excellent learner”, said the voice on the phone. “You did a fantastic job.” Was I accepting this lofty praise from an instructor from whom I was taking an in-person craft course? An online professor from whom I was taking a creative writing course? A teacher from whom I was taking a brush-up course on word processing? No. None of these. I was being complimented on my learning skills by……………..a Comcast Agent. As I was extricating myself from a pretzel-like position on the floor underneath my desk with 3 different cords in my hands, how could I not be proud of his gushing compliments?
Joan GershmanPublished 4 days ago in Journal
Snack Like a Supermodel
I was scrolling through Facebook and came across one of those irresistible “clickbait” titles that I simply had to give in and “click”. It promised a list of “healthy fat” foods that models ate to stay skinny. Who wouldn’t be interested in such sage advice, especially a compulsive overeater such as me, who underwent gastric sleeve surgery and a strict behavior modification program to lose 100+ pounds? (Stay tuned for my upcoming series about my weight loss journey.) I should have known better, but I clicked.
Joan GershmanPublished 7 days ago in Feast
It's a TALL, TALL, World
CRUNCH. Oh, crap, I muttered, as I got out of the car to see what I had backed into. The drainpipe on the side of my house was now just a bit squished. Not squished enough so rain couldn’t get through it, but still squished. Yes, I have a backup camera on the car. That safety device is the reason I chose that car in the first place. (Due to another unfortunate backing up accident with my previous car that lacked such a camera). Still, this latest incident was NOT my fault. If the tall men who design cars would make sun visors adjustable so they actually cover the sun in someone my size's (4' 11") line of vision, I would have SEEN the drainpipe in the backup camera instead of a huge fireball.
Joan GershmanPublished 11 days ago in Humans
Where is My Vote?
WHERE IS MY VOTE? I wasn’t even allowed to vote, and I am very unhappy about it. I was never sent a mail-in ballot, nor was I ever instructed where there was an in-person polling place where I could go to cast a ballot. No, I’m not talking about any political election. I am talking about the election, or should I say “selection”, because no one I know was ever consulted or allowed a vote, of People Magazine’s 2021 Sexiest Man Alive, Paul Rudd.
Joan GershmanPublished 12 days ago in Humans
Pandemic Pounds
29 Pounds! 29 pounds? Yes, you gained 29 lbs. in the year 2020 if you are the average American slowly emerging from quarantine. Very slowly, since you are obviously spending a lot of time in your closet trying to find an article of clothing that will button, zip, or pull on over your newly expanded hips.
Joan GershmanPublished 13 days ago in Longevity
