Bravery is a muscle

Los Angeles, 2018.

As I watched Reshma Saujani's TED Talk about bravery x perfection, her words and insights had a valuable impact on me. If I could be braver, my chances of achieving what I wanted would be higher. That inspired change.

Months later, I was invited to attend the TEDWomen: Showing Up edition, and —to my delight— Reshma was there leading a workshop on "Leading with bravery, not perfection". Of course, I signed up for it.

The first part focused on allowing the attendees to identify how brave their inner person was. Curiously, only women had signed up, and let's say that we could be doing it better. The second part asked us to consider one big dream and to explore the small steps that could make it come true. This exploration of actions towards a big goal is what Reshma identifies as exercises to keep our brave muscles active.

The writing below resonated with me most and made me feel powerful, so I would love for you to experience that as well.

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QUALIFY YOU YES

I lost count of how often I heard the phrase: you just have to say no. It sounds simple, but it's not quite like that.

Sometimes, you don't want to lose an opportunity or want it under different conditions. You perceive acceptance as the action that will lead you closer to the goal. Also, some opportunities may only happen once, so we want to say yes, and that's okay. What we need is to qualify the yes.

Understand how much you can commit and what conditions allow you to say a healthy yes. Once you do it, stick to it.

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FIND POWER IN COMMUNITY

How many times have you reached a point where you know something is possible but can't do it yourself? You were not born to do it all alone.

Allow yourself to meet new people. Foster authentic connections to cultivate a robust community around you where you can find and offer support.

It may take work to start. I had such a hard time meeting new people when I moved to the USA, but I learned that some environments are more open than others, and I focused on that. Look for places of interest and sign up for courses, events, classes, and debates - whoever signed up for that already shares interests and is a great initiator.

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CELEBRATE SMALL WINS

We're always trying to get there, to that perfect life we told ourselves exists and will make us happy once we get there. Bullshit. You will get there, and when you do, you will have upgraded the goal, which can make you spend your entire life chasing an unreachable life. Very exhausting.

Instead of worrying about a finishing line, allow yourself to recognize the successful steps during your journey and celebrate them - which is an excellent excuse for a glass of champagne.

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DO SOMETHING YOU SUCK AT IT

Here we go with our perfection illusion dream. We want everything 100%. We will only share or want others to see after it's impeccable. We punish ourselves for not making it perfect. Please. STOP IT.

Being ambitious is good, but we must learn to reframe the narrative of failure. Not succeeding the first time does not equal not succeeding in this lifetime. It only means trying harder and incorporating what was learned from the previous attempt.

Doing something you suck at teaches you how to deal with frustration. Instead of punishing yourself, face it from another perspective. Try to understand what you could do differently to improve. Practice, sometimes practice is all we need.

Make yourself feel comfortable with the uncomfortable parts. That will make you stronger and allow you to see through them.

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OWN IT

We all have bravery inside. We just need to exercise it enough to have the strength to get what we want. So go, exercise it! Choose one small brave thing to do every day for 30 days, and tell me how you feel afterwards.

Your big dream may be much closer.