Three Super Powers And How You Can Get Them

Stronger Bones

In the 2007 comic book Wolverine #48, Logan faces off against a mutant named Nitro. As most of you know, Logan AKA Wolverine has the power of regeneration as well as an adamantium coated skeleton(the metal coated skeleton is not a mutation, it's a long story.) On the other hand, Nitro has the ability to explode and rebuild himself, if the picture hasn't given it away... things don't initially go well for Wolverine. The only part of Logan that survives Nitro's blast is his metal covered skeleton.

Talk about strong bones...

I don't see a whole lot of doctors prescribing a metal coated skeleton to osteoporosis suffers, but there are other ways to increase bone density. For instance walking or running can help strengthen your bones.

What's next? BREAKING NEWS!! WATER CAN HELP THIRST!

I know this isn't exactly ground breaking but when you dig down into things, sometimes the simpler solution is the best one. After hunting around for a while to find methods to calm my anxiety I would frequently find box breathing, which is you guessed it... slow and controlled breathing, so hear me out.

According to orthoinfo.aaos.org running is considered a weight bearing exercise and, with proper nutrition, can increase bone density. They also site walking, dancing, sports, and... hopscotch as examples of weight bearing exercises. Looks like I have some chalk squares to draw in the driveway.

Side note: When I asked my former nurse friend why I had gained a few pounds when I was training for my half marathon. She asked me if I I had noticed any changes in my body to warrant the gain. When I said no, she told me that runners can actually gain 5 to 7 pounds of bone density. What?!

Viral Resistance

I have a problem. I wash my hands... a lot. It can be a real mental problem, I find myself keeping tabs on my hands. What they touched, what they touched after, what those things could touch later... My poor mother.

The questions I asked her were ridiculous, there where a lot of, "I touched one thing, is it okay that someone else touched it later? Also I touched my eye, am I okay too?" I am now feeling her pain, my son called me into his room in the middle of the night to ask if he could wash his hands... I get it buddy, I really do.

Where was I going with this? This can't just be about my OCD, oh right, "Viral Resistance."

By virus, I mainly mean upper respiratory infections, which after 202o, that's what we all mean when we say virus. Remember that OCD thing? I drove my wife crazy with the pandemic.

How do we do this? Well there are a number of things you can avoid, not putting random objects into your mouth is a great start. This is something I have been trying to wrap my two year old daughter's head around, it isn't working well.

Aside from the obvious(to people older than two) what can we do? Well, you can run! How does it work? The website uvahealth.com says that heavy breathing can clear out bacteria in your lungs before they have time to multiply. Along with that, running helps with inflammation and increase white blood cell count, both can help your immune system!

This one is my favorite though, running for long periods brings your body temperature up temporarily. This acts as a sort of self-induced fever! Not as excited as I am? Eh, okay, last one. I promise.

Immortality

For those who don't know, the beautiful man standing beside the blue police box is "The Doctor." He is the titular character of the long running BBC show "Doctor Who" and there is a lot that can be said about the show but I will keep it short and sweet. You really only have to know one thing about the character.

If The Doctor is fatally wounded, then, instead of dying, their body does something called "Regeneration." This is when their bodies fully heal, but in the process they change. Change face, gender, personality... actor. It is a fun device in the story as well as a great way to keep the show going for decades without having to worry about aging actors.

Okay, you made it through two paragraphs about Doctor Who, for the non-whovians I commend you. For the people who already knew all of this, I will get straight to it. Am I telling you that you should just heal up your fatal wounds if something happens? No... but you might see where this is going.

Running may be the single most effective exercise to increase life expectancy, according to a new review and analysis of past research about exercise and premature death. - Gretchen Reynolds in a 2017 NY Times Article

The title of that article is "An Hour of Running May Add 7 Hours to Your Life" and I can already hear you doing the math out-loud and no, these additions are not infinite. Running does not make you immortal, but it can increase your life by about three years!

You wondering why all three of these were about running? Well, the publish date might give you a hint as to why. Even if this was all just an April Fools joke, maybe you actually could use this? What if you had to use these powers to fight a supervillain?!

FIGHTING A SUPERVILLAIN

It finally happened, the evil inventor is here! It is time to square off. His bald head glimmers in the moonlight, your runners shorts flap in the wind. The villain chuckles as he reaches for his latest hateful device and takes aim at your chest. In true supervillain fashion, he explains what this gun-like thing will do to you,

"Oh it is over for you," He chortles, "This device fires a very special ray! It reduces bone density while simultaneously shortens your lifespan by giving you deadly upper respiratory infections!"

Your training has finally kicked in you look him straight in the eye, take a deep breath... and run away.

SOURCES

https://www.cbr.com/wolverine-worst-injuries/#burned-to-the-bone

https://orthoinfo.aaos.org/en/staying-healthy/exercise-and-bone-health/#:~:text=Exercise%20is%20important%20for%20building,more%20bone%20and%20becoming%20denser.

https://blog.uvahealth.com/2020/06/18/can-running-boost-immune-system/

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/12/well/move/an-hour-of-running-may-add-seven-hours-to-your-life.html