humor

Comedy and humor in the health and wellness space.

  • Valerie Kittell
    Published 5 days ago
    The Day I Broke My Elbow

    The Day I Broke My Elbow

    I have an artificial part of my body — a marvel of engineering, science, and medicine that allows me to function almost as though the accident that pulverized my elbow had never happened.
  • Brenda Mahler
    Published 8 days ago
    Consumer Warning: Do Not Steam Iron Clothes While Wearing

    Consumer Warning: Do Not Steam Iron Clothes While Wearing

    In 1994, Stella Liebeck drove through the drive through window at McDonald's and purchased a cup of coffee. When the coffee tipped, the lid popped off and the contents caused severe burns to her body. Stella sued and won a settlement of almost 3 million dollars.
  • Justin Mark Dunford
    Published 15 days ago
    When I ventured to the Local Chinese Massage Shop

    When I ventured to the Local Chinese Massage Shop

    So a bit of a fun story for anyone who has a spare 36 seconds ...at my local shops there’s a “genuine Chinese” massage there..I resisted a visit there for awhile, as why do you have to mention you’re “genuine”...is there a “not-so-genuine Chinese massage nearby? Anyways...one day I relented.
  • Brenda Mahler
    Published 16 days ago
    Human Teeth Make Memorial Jewelry

    Human Teeth Make Memorial Jewelry

    This stunning pendant could be yours. Think of it as a precious memorial that will keep a loved one close forever prompting memories of their smile and all the good times you shared.
  • BagHead
    Published 16 days ago
    The Ungrateful

    The Ungrateful

    Feel grateful there are people out there willing to put up with you. You are not special; you are just primate, among many primates. During this COVID time, healthcare workers are scrambling; in return, they receive low pay, just to keep humans alive and well. After many years in the business, one important thing I have learned is that it takes a village to keep us going. Without certain people doing the jobs you are too lazy or scared to do, you would not be here. If it were up to me, I would start a healthcare revolution, have all caregivers protest for change against these Nazi laws. To sum up the problems within the healthcare industry and other industries like it: Employees are treated like the enemy, for no money nor respect in return, while the sick and disabled- who are burdens on society- are treated like royalty. Not only do we care for these people, but we also flip the bill. It costs tons of dough to keep you and your loved ones alive, and it is not a right; it is a privilege to have people put up with you, especially if you feel ungrateful. Everyone is very capable of protesting, and they can easily refuse to do anything for you. Then, where will you be? Without our payroll taxes, you would have no Social Security nor Medicare. My generation will never see Medicare. You are lucky. You are welcome. Without Certified Ass Wipers, your kids would have to clean your shitty asses, and trust me, they do not want to. They just want that inheritance. Some of the laws make it impossible for we caregivers to do our jobs properly. We can’t force you people to shower; so, technically we can leave you dirty, if you don’t want to bathe. Yet, we get blamed for your marinating in piss. Make sense to you? We’re not allowed to restrain you or drug you up, but you can cause lots of problems and commit crimes, harming the community you do not belong in. Make sense to you? I know if I were suffering and out of control, I would want drugs to put me in la la land; so, I do not have to feel a thing. The other option is euthanasia, which I am all for. You see life is not black and white, and if you think it is, you are a moron. No one wants to suffer; so, why force them to? Did you know it is legal for the elderly to starve to death, living in nursing homes? Takes approximately 2 weeks for them to die. That is perfectly legal, but euthanasia or mercy killing is not legal? Make sense to you?
  • Lindsay Rae Brown
    Published 18 days ago
    A Story About Working Out

    A Story About Working Out

    I was scrolling through Facebook the other day when I saw one of my friends showcasing their yoga headstand for all to see. Now, I’m not going to lie, I sort of instantly found myself Facebook crushing. Hard. At our age, who can do a headstand without the crippling fear of their own body weight working against them and crushing their neck into smithereens? It is a constant dread that dangles in the back of my mind at literally any given moment when the mention of headstands, cartwheels or even a damn somersault comes up in conversation.
  • Soul Teacher
    Published 29 days ago
    What happens when a lost soul finds home

    What happens when a lost soul finds home

    The journey into the mind is a powerful experience. We all seem to be lost souls here from a different dimension that allow dark forces to manipulate our minds daily. It's an incredible journey when you break free and allow yourself to trust what is happening to be the right choice no matter what. Despite all of the experiences you have been through and the choices you've made, you come out as a rising phoenix. You are not I, you are everything.
  • Veronica Rogers
    Published 2 months ago
    The Case of the Missing Medicine

    The Case of the Missing Medicine

    As a child, I was consistently finding myself ill with something. Whether, it be allergies, or something rare, I would somehow find a way to contract it. I am sure living within the eco-friendly area of New York didn't help. While I only lived in New York for a short time, to the ripe old age of 7 years old, I believe my time there played a large role with the childhood asthma I had. When I turned 7 years old, the doctor told my mother that we should relocate out west to California because I was not able to tolerate the air in New York anymore.
  • Brenda Mahler
    Published 2 months ago
    A Survival Strategy for Trauma: Laugh

    A Survival Strategy for Trauma: Laugh

    When Kari first suffered a stroke, we held our breath. Watching our daughter in a hospital bed unable to move her right side, powerless to care for herself, supported by tubes and cords performing bodily functions, made the air in the room thin.
  • Gail S.
    Published 4 months ago
    Me vs My Scale

    Me vs My Scale

    Me: Ok, come on now, be nice this one time. Scale: Well good morning to you too. Me: You sir, are a liar! Scale: Am not.
  • Michael DeRosa
    Published 5 months ago
    Explosive Diarrhea

    Explosive Diarrhea

    It was my freshman year of college and my friend asked me if I wanted to see a play on campus. Before we went to the show, we met in The Pub, a small restaurant on campus in the basement of the theatre where the play was taking place. It was a Friday night during Lent, and being the good Catholic boy that I was, I ordered fish for dinner. The food took what seemed like forever to make, and we finally receieved our orders with minutes to spare before the play began. Frantically, I engulfed the fish and we ran upstairs to get our seats before the show started.
  • Brenda Mahler
    Published 6 months ago
    What I Will Miss When the Masks are Stored

    What I Will Miss When the Masks are Stored

    When social distancing began, the mask was a nuisance. After getting settled in the car with the seat belt fastened, I inevitably needed to return to the house to retrieve Thelma. (Yes, I named my mask.)