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Pizza Everything

Pizza Everything the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Way!

By Leslie WritesPublished 2 months ago Updated 2 months ago 3 min read
Top Story - February 2024

My experiment began when I found this odd bit of 90’s nostalgia online. I know what you’re thinking. Finally, an everything pizza seasoning endorsed by The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Millennials, look no further. This 4.4 ounce bottle of pizza-like flavor is available on for $12.99. Also available, ‘The Shredder.’

I had initially bought it for my daughter, but her reaction was lukewarm at best. It was not until I started my very important Facebook photo essay that she showed even the slightest interest. Then it was all, “Why are you taking so many pictures of that pizza seasoning?” and “Where are you going with those nunchucks?”

To my friends on Facebook I posed a simple question.

Follow me on Facebook. Or not. No presh!

Let’s take a closer look, shall we? The back of the bottle features a recipe. “Prep store bought dough according to package.” Seems an inauspicious beginning for a pizza recipe. I’m sorry, Italians, there is nothing authentic happening here. But I digress. Back to the experiment!

My Facebook friends offered a wide range of suggestions from the mundane to the absurd. More than one of them asked, nay - demanded that I put it on everything. And thus, I embarked on a journey to ‘pizza’ the world turtle style.

TMNT Pizza Everything Seasoning Experiment #1: Buttered pasta with cherry tomato and Parmesan

It was both radical and gnarly. I could taste the New York City sewer system.

TMNT Pizza Everything Seasoning Experiment #2: Breakfast sandwich with English muffin, sliced cheddar, and fried (microwaved) egg

This is April O’Neal reporting live from Leslie’s kitchen…Now, Leslie, can you tell me the source of the eggs?

I was foraging in the sewer and I came upon these mysterious glowing eggs. They appeared to be covered in some sort of ooze from a broken glass vial, like the kind you’d see in a secret industrial lab. I figured, why the hell not, ya know?

TMNT Pizza Everything Seasoning Experiment #3: 🍰

Did you know that in addition to his reputation as a 'party dude,' Michelangelo was also a classically trained pastry chef? He is world renowned for his pizza buttercream. Here I attempt to recreate his masterpiece.

TMNT Pizza Everything Seasoning Experiment #4: ☕️

Move over Pumpkin Spice Latte, there’s a new PSL in town. The Pizza Seasoning Latte is the premier savory espresso beverage. It will take your morning from zero to ‘cowabunga, dude!’

TMNT Pizza Everything Seasoning Experiment #5: 🍕

I thought I could somehow make pizza taste more like pizza, but this was pure hubris! Instead of a trip to flavor town, I was sucked into a pizza vortex, a rift in the space time continuum.

TMNT Pizza Everything Seasoning Experiment #5: 🐶

Oh my god, you guys, look what it did to my dog!

Have I gone too far in the name of science? I feel different somehow. It is the dawn of a new metamorphosis!

I want to thank my friends on Facebook who championed this little experiment. Your encouragement made me what I am today, a pizza obsessed mutant.

Play us out, boys! You’ll want to turn the sound up for this. It’s a banger!


Fun Fact:

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were created in 1984 by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird of Mirage Comic Book Studios. It was written as a parody of Daredevil, mocking many of the most serious elements. For example, Daredevil was trained by a man named ‘Stick,’ while the turtles were trained by a rat named ‘Splinter.’ Daredevil fights a clan of evil ninjas known as ‘The Hand’ while the turtles must fight ‘The Foot.’ It is also implied that the same radioactive ooze that blinded Matt Murdock and turned him into Daredevil is the same substance that mutated the turtles.


About the Creator

Leslie Writes

Another struggling millennial. Writing is my creative outlet and stress reliever.

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Comments (32)

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  • Sid Aaron Hirji2 months ago

    Tmnt was my life as a kid. Sad to get an action figure it’s an arm and a leg…oops hand and foot

  • Anna 2 months ago

    Congrats on Top Story!!

  • Joe O’Connor2 months ago

    This is a hilarious read - I couldn't stop smiling! When it got to the coffee mix my tastebuds were definitely questioning the validity of the 'cowabunga!' Fantastic, clearly a lot of effort and well deserving of top story

  • David blue 2 months ago

    "Embracing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' love for pizza means diving into a world of creativity and flavor! From classic cheese to wild and wacky toppings, channeling your inner TMNT fan allows for endless pizza possibilities. Whether you're craving a gooey, pepperoni-packed pie like Michelangelo or opting for a veggie-loaded masterpiece like Donatello, the TMNT way of pizza is all about fun, adventure, and of course, deliciousness. So grab your pizza cutter and let's embark on a culinary journey worthy of the Ninja Turtles themselves!"

  • Gabriel Huizenga2 months ago

    This is such a hilarious and fun piece! I particularly enjoyed the photos at the end 😂 Awesome job, and congrats on the top story!

  • sudip tarafder2 months ago

    Congrats! I enjoyed it!’

  • Anna 2 months ago

    Congrats on Top Story!🥳

  • Wilma J. Miele2 months ago

    Do you want to Get Free Walmart $100-$1,000 Gift Card! SignUp Now:

  • Carol Townend2 months ago

    All I will say is, "Cowabunga!" This is humorous, and you have excellent kitchen skills!

  • JBaz2 months ago

    I applaud your spirit, morning latte and pizza mix…hmmm Everything else bravo. Plus I like the little tid bit at the end

  • Jay Kantor2 months ago

    Hi Leslie - Years ago there was an overused expression: "The Pet Rock Theory"...anything can be sold re; marketing technique. And, if a bottle of 'Goop' for $12.99 can't even pass the 'Smell' Test - I'd probably just get a 2-fer @ Dominos. Nice to have you back elbow giggling with me. Jay

  • Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • Donna Renee2 months ago

    Hahahah congrats on the TS! You are so funny 🤣😁

  • Kendall Defoe 2 months ago

    My tongue hurts!

  • ROCK 2 months ago

    I am really happy for you 😊! I shared this with ViM group as one of my favorite stories when I first read it. YaY!!

  • This was too funny Leslie!!! The photos made it even better!!!

  • Jazzy 2 months ago

    I knew somethings about the Turtles because my 6 year old is obsessed but that last bit was so interesting, and what an amazing experiment!!!!!

  • Test2 months ago

    Amazing job! Keep up the outstanding work—congrats!

  • Melissa Ingoldsby2 months ago

    This was hilariously funny and entertaining! Excellent nostalgia kick

  • Cathy holmes2 months ago

    Not surprised to see this here. Congrats on the TS.

  • A dough lot of fun here, Leslie! Saucy! Crusty!

  • ROCK 2 months ago

    "The Pizza Seasoning Latte is the premier savory espresso beverage. It will take your morning from zero to ‘cowabunga, dude!’ "Lol, No way, this is all too funny! Hilarious!

  • Rene Volpi 2 months ago

    Ahahaha! Good one!

  • Lamar Wiggins2 months ago

    "What will they think of next!" A classic phrase from people trying to keep up with change, lol. This was a hilarious experiment, Leslie. And this here, "It will take your morning from zero to ‘cowabunga, dude!" 😅 It had to be in there and you placed it nicely. Thanks for the laughs.

  • Gosh I remember how funnyyyyyy this was when you posted them on Facebook!! Like you're soooo creative, lol! I'm soooo happy you posted this on Vocal as well. This made my day! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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