The Squeeze

– The Pricey Luxury Badge vs the Hovering Hulk –

Most of us have a problem with car doors putting dents on the sides of our cars; we'd like to take up two spaces but then we'd get key'd out of spite if we did. Currently the 'Compact' spots are occupied by Schlong-Schlinging oversized trucks that have their Tuckus' so far out they block the drive through aisles; I'm probably the only one that's noticed.

For instance ~ The Optometrist: Woman 'Squeezing' her fancy 'Badged' S.U.V. between two massive trucks parked in the narrow 'compact' spaces at his office, smashing into both simultaneously, Quote: "Ah, I'm just getting my eyes examined here, I 'Probably' won't do that again once I GeTumFixed." Common sense just doesn't seem to be common anymore.To save the planet of late drivers are choosing: The silent-sleek electric cars or the gas guzzling humongous throaty pickups; not much in between. No more woody's or station wagons. Just the Look~Alike everyday S.U.V.'s with the touch-to-open rear hatch so not to break a nail; you know the kind.

Our Stylish S.U.V. - Watercolor © Darlene M. Wescombe -

The GimmickyTechLess 1947 Chrysler Woody Rag-Top Convertible – No 'Lectric here. The scrap metal taken from post war Tanks created relic unique craftsmanship that took on a personality of their own if not a special 'tude; courtesy ashtrays throughout. Dad had a 'long-green' 4 door sedan whose grill served as a climbing playground 'Jungle-Gym,' The Toothy-Grills of the day. 'Hit by a Buick' an everyday colloquial expression. This article is meant to Observe-Point Out our Senior vs the Newbies cultural differences and parallels – if any?

For years automakers would feature their hood ornaments as a calling-card-badge, if you will. Such as GM's Pontiacs' immediately recognizable Indian head, that lit up the 'Chiefs-Nose' at the tip of the hood leading the way; predecessor to G.P.S. People bought the prestige that was showcased.

— Bold Presence ~ Size Does Matter —

Hey look at my Monster coming at your 'Pischer' cars, Peasants, that are often tooted about and looking DownUpon by the little old Granny from Pasadena. Identia slathered onto the tailgates of pickups with the Mfg. name proudly emblazoned onto the tailgate; they get you coming or going. And, of course there's the Rolls and Mercedes hood ornaments that became so popular to rip-off that once the ignition was shut down, they would instantly retract from view.

— Whites of Their Eyes —

1st thing we were taught in Drivers Ed was, at an intersection, always look @ the drivers eyes to see if they see you? Now with all of the 'Legal?' wrap-around window blackening you never know what 'Gadget or Passenger' they may be 'Fiddling' with - along with hiding smoke tokes.

But, there is an upside slant to all of this: Ever sit at a light clearly viewing (right next to you) a driver smashing a Cheeseburger into his mouth with the left hand while gulping down ketchup slathered French Fries with the right hand? I know - Yeesch!

— Not Your Grandma's Everyday Driver —

'Beasts' are the Newbies' idea of sleek compared to the stylish rides in the past. Currently GM is producing few (2) door trucks, due to 'Seat Belt' Laws, as well as block-long 'Family' SUV's; no KiddyKrunching here. Unattractive to me is the Jeep SUV: This klutzy 'Knobby Tire Thing' features huge-hinges displayed holding everything together. The 'Romancing-Draw' with these bumpy rides alludes me — Underwire-Bras-Required —

Teens now have found alternate sources of transportation due to out of reach costs – as well as other sources of transportation now available that were once unheard of such as Uber and speedy 'lectric-scooters scattered on every corner. Cars just don’t seem to hold the same appeal for kids these days in comparison to our generation. Could the silence of electric cars, as opposed to the vibration of the 'Muscle Cars' varoom be a factor; not to mention the bumper-to-bumper drag of driving in traffic.

I picture this gens' parallel parking on the DMV Test: While the 'examiner' is looking away (distracted by his cellphone) as the 'Teen' engages Mom's automatic parking feature in her Cadillac – that drove through the course on autopilot.

My Twin and I, on our 16th Birthday, were 1st in line covering each of the (2) entry doors @ the DMV: We 'needed' our drivers license, and all of the freedom it represented. It also meant that we could take a date to the drive-in theater: Never quite knew what the movie was – But, Best Kissin' Venue – Ever !

The Lithium craze certainly has its advantages such as the the $2000 'lectric exercize bicycle - But, the only schvitz time is bending over to turn on the motor - kind of defeats the purpose.

— Spin Out —

Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California

'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Village Community -