My weight loss journey changed me

2020 was a tough year for me but not in the way most would expect. I still had a stable job, I graduated high school in person, and I was accepted into my dream college. However, taking online classes and not being active unless I was at work took a major toll on me physically and mentally.

The Beginning

My high school days consisted of me being extremely active, playing basketball, going to work, and schoolwork but this lifestyle ended right at I was graduating. I quit basketball in my junior year and continued to work at fast food jobs which became an unhealthy relationship. I was no longer working and being active as I once was, I was just sitting at a desk for 7-8 hours a day, working for another 8 hours, and eating. At the start, I never saw a problem, I knew my weight was skyrocketing but it was the peace of never having to wake up at 5 in morning for practice and getting yelled in my face for missing a free-throw that made me blind to it. My clothes were fitting tighter and my bust could no longer fit in my bra but I kept eating.

Online school

Due to the pandemic, my first year of college was online. I was elated and upset as I would have loved to be on campus but online school provides more freedom and a more hands off learning. I was still working at a fast food place and this is where I believe my eating became out of control. During this time, I was never conscious of calories, carbs, sugar, and at that time I couldn't tell you what saturated fats were. Online school and work gave me time to develop one of the worst lifestyles. My life, for a entire year, consisted of me:

• Waking up at 3:30pm (30 minutes before work)
• Rushing out the house without eating
• Eating on my break at work which consisted of a veggie burrito with extra rice, guac, queso, red sauce, lettuce, and a large bag of tortilla chips
• Getting home at 11pm and eating snacks while working on homework till 3am or 4am
• The process starts over

Every step in this list are the worst mistakes I made during my first year of college and once I transitioned to in person classes the next year, my schedule changed but my eating habits stayed. I didn't change sooner because I thought that as long as I was moving around getting work done that I wouldn't gain as much as. I was completely wrong.

On Campus

My first time on a college campus was almost euphoric as it was one of the places I had always dreamed of being in and now I'm there. However, when classes began, I truly started to see how my weight gain was now becoming a major problem for me. My college has a large campus and with little to no parking spots close to the main area where the majority of classes are held, walking became a daily activity. Mind you, I was still working at the same fast food place but just a different location, so instead of waking up at 3:30pm and getting home at 11 at night, my lifestyle became even more dangerous. The schedule became:

• Waking up at 7am or 8am (depending on the classes I had that day)
• Still walking out without eating
• Classes end by 12pm
• Head home and eat a high calorie meal with a large cup of sweet tea
• Getting to work by 4pm
• Eating on my break and eating the same high calorie burrito or putting the tortilla in a bowl and adding even more food into it (some nights I wouldn't get a break at all)
• Getting home by 12am
• The process starts over

I understand that some people might say that this schedule looks like a typical day for a full time college student with a part time job. I thought that way as well, I thought this was normal for someone like me. Constantly tired, so tired that after my classes instead of doing a few homework assignments before work, I took a nap and opened my laptop to a zero in the gradebook the next morning. By the end of the fall semester, I did lower my hours at work but I was still always tired.

Mental Health

At the end of the fall semester, I was also starting to become unsatisfied with how I looked. I started to pay more attention to detail when it came to how I looked. I began to see how big my stomach had gotten, I came to the realization that I went from a C cup to a F cup, and when at a resting heart rate, I was breathing hard. I began to almost hate myself for what I've done and my mental health was also taking punches from my environment at work. My physical and mental wellbeing was at a high risk of collapsing and by the spring semester, I strived for change.

The Journey

The start of my journey was hard, I did not know where to start, what to eat, nor how to work the machines at the recreation center. Although I had little experience with losing weight, I knew I had to start with what I am consuming and change it. I threw out the sweet tea and started buying 3-4 cases of water, I then went out and bought a scale. My starting weight was over 200 pounds, the heaviest I had ever been. It hurt to see that number on the scale but it made me determined.

I made many mistakes in the beginning, I wasn't counting calories which led to little to no weight loss and I wasn't working out. I knew right then and there that I needed to make a few more adjustments. I downloaded an app to track my calories and weight then I started going to the gym 5-6 days a week. I checked my weight every morning and became elated as the number decreased every day. I started choosing better options at the grocery stores, eating breakfast before class, choosing better options during my break at work. As the months went by, the weight kept coming off and I was starting to see more prominent results. My face was slimmer, my pants were looser, and my bra no longer fit. During this time, I also quit my job, I no longer had to face the abuse of customers, management, and I no longer had the awful food options in front of me.

Quitting my job felt analogous to me quitting basketball, the weight lifting off my shoulders, finally getting a good night's sleep, no worrying about tomorrow. However, I did not use this feeling as a gateway to start unhealthy habits, I used it as a gateway to finally reach my physical and mental health goals.

Conclusion

I have lost roughly 40 pounds and I still plan to lose more. This weight loss journey has changed the way I think about my overall health. Looking back 2 years ago, not eating breakfast, sleeping all day or not enough, taking mental abuse for a pay check, and eating ridiculously large meals in one sitting because I haven't ate anything in the majority of the day; all of these habits were a recipe for disaster.

I now take my sleeping schedule very seriously and since then I have been able to focus more on my school work. My grades were 10 times better during my spring semester versus my fall semester. I no longer crave sugar, I cook all my meals, and I live at the gym.

This journey has made me realize that bad habits are not just the "norm" for a particular group or person and no matter what, taking care of my body and mind should be the most important part of my life. This weight loss has changed me to the point that my worse fear is falling into old or new destructive habits but my new found determination hopefully won't lead me down that road again.

Authors Note

Thank you for reading my story! I wanted to make it clear that that the lifestyles that I illustrated may work for some people but I know that they did not work for me. If you live a certain lifestyle that is similar to what I have illustrated above and you are the standard weight, that is amazing, however it made me gain weight. :)

Again, thank you for reading!