The Meme-ing of The Signs of The Times
People Seem Troubled
⚡ Hello again! 👋😁
It's me: __Lightning Bolt⚡!
I'm back yet again with another hilarious edition of Meme-ing Madness!
In the last edition of this sporadically ongoing series, I informed everyone that the Future of Funny on Vocal depended on you. 🫵
No one seemed to understand the gravity of the situation.
Either that or people just don't like to take responsibility for their inaction.
... and no one seemed to care!
That's a Sad Sign of the Times.
<sigh>
But I am dedicated to making this World a Better Place, (especially for those of you with big tits).
⚡😁👍
No one can accuse me of being shallow!
I have purpose!
So guess what?
I'm BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!!
That's right! A horde of my friends and faithful readers (at least three, maybe four of you!) told me Sunday that they think I'm a comedic genius!
<They may not have used those exact words, but close enough.>
So naturally, all their praising of me on Facebook caused me to respond by writing the words you are reading right now.
I'm a people pleaser! <...and I'm not talking just about in bed, where I'm basically Bacchus Reborn. ⚡😉👍>
But as I always say↓⇊⇩
"Comedy is hard."
It really is!
To be more accurate↓⇊⇩
"Comedy is difficult."
<I'm hard. 😂🤣>
There is a lot of pressure in being a fabulous humorist.
So, all of you 🫵 should praise me more.
And Vocal should make this a Top Story.
<looking at you, Vocal←↯ಠ╭╮ಠ↯>
My validation shouldn't come from only the multitude of people on Facebook who adore me (as many as 6-7 people on a good day).
So, phone your neighbors! Tell your family! Annoy your political enemies! Create a Vocal profile for your dog, then guide its paws to LIKE me! Give this to your minister and tell him to look for signs of demonic possession!
Inform your spouse you'll only divorce them if they read this bullshit <simply to cause them lasting trauma before you sign the papers>!
Share this with anyone and everyone you know!
That's what Social Media was designed for...
Me.
⚡😁👍
Also...
The standard WARNINGS apply.
There are many!
Precautions should be taken before reading further. Perhaps the most important WARNING is there is a high likelihood you will fall head-over-heels in love with me, because of my charm, wit, and overall sexiness.
That's normal.
Don't blame yourself for things that are out of your control.
The Entire List of WARNINGS that apply can be found here. 👇 It's seriously advisable you read this <...if, for no other reason, to drill it into your head that I'm protected from any/all lawsuits.> 👇
(👉ﾟヮﾟ)👉‿That's it!︵👈(ﾟヮﾟ👈)
Remember: We're all in this together! So let's be ✨optimistic✨, shall we?
Let's all Laugh as One in the face of inevitable worldwide calamity!
Without further ado, HERE ARE THE MEMES!!!!
⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡
#1)⇶ —A Sign that Texans Just Don't Get It
Not really.
Not in my case anyway.
I _shocked him⚡ repeatedly on purpose to see if the electricity would give him superpowers! Like me!
<It didn't.>
Unfortunately, that guy's only superpower was the capacity to make his nose glow red... which really isn't very helpful against super villains.
#JustKeepingItReal.
#TroubledTexans #TroubledTimes
⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡
#2)⇶ —A Sign That Even Cemeteries Are Feeling the Ill Affects of Tariffs
Okay, whatever.
No unauthorized deposits.
Makes no sense to me, but I can live with it.
That's why God created alligators.
But what about withdraws?
I mean... I'm not personally into necrophilia but I'm...
#Asking4aFriend
#TroubledSpirits #TroublingTariffs #GraverobbersRPeople2
<Little Reported Fact--The price/value of caskets has gone up 247% since Trump took office.>
⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡
#3)⇶ —A Sign that Swamp Things Are Being Discriminated Against
Whoever erected this sign clearly hates children!
Hallucinogens are essential to an alligator's motorboat driving skills!
That was firmly established the year I was born!
The Evidence...
Is that a crusade to keep gators off drugs?
More of that Woke Shit?
In Florida?????
Outrageous!
#GovernmentOvereach #ReptilesHaveRights #WallyDied #NowElonsShoes? #TroublingTimes
⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡
#4)⇶ —A Sign that the Elderly Get No Respect! 😡
DON'T make fun of Old People <like me>!!!!
I don't forget things!
Signs like those 👆 are indicators of
#TroublingRoadRules #CommuterAgeDiscrimination #GeriactricOppression #YoungPeopleSuck
⚡_____ ⚡ ಠ╭╮ಠ ⚡ _____ ⚡
#5)⇶ —A Sign that Penguins Dew Blue Nether Regions Reverse Regularly if Raison Enchiladas
Gentle reminder, my ass!
That shit is harsh!
#TroublingTimes #TheSpoonLessTraveled #ElevatorAwareness #Silverware4theBlind #UpandDownRidesForPiece
⚡
_______________⚡
We Pause Momentarily for this Public Service Announcement...
It takes roughly $12,000,000.69 + plus the same number of blowjobs... give or take $6-7 dollars.
Or at least that's my theory.
Does anyone rich and talented out there want to test it with me? For science's sake, of course!
Inquring minds want to know.
If so, Friend me on Facebook and IM me.
⚡😁👍
#AlwaysADreamer
even in #TheseTroublingTimes
⚡
_______________⚡
#6)⇶ —A Sign that Dominoes Days Are Numbered with competition like this
Oh, no way!!!!
Those dicks must be really, really small!
Why else would they give 'em away for free?
You know how much I calculate my junk to be worth?
$12,000,000.69... give or take 6-7 dollars.
If someone is advertising that they're giving dicks away for free, there's something fishy going on its probably anchovies. 🤢🤮
#WoefullyDeceptiveTimes #BewareofScams #LiesBelowTheBelt #AGreatPenisIsNeverFree #HardTimes #GetIt? #Hard
⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡
#7)⇶ —A Sign that "He is Risen" has Multiple Interpretations
Would it be blasphemous of me to suggest this kind☝️ of service is more appropriately held really late on a Friday night?
#TroubledTiming #930IsEntirelyTooEarly4This #JizzBaptisms? #Hallelujah!
⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡
#4)⇶ —😡 A Sign that the Elderly Get NO Respect! 😡
DON'T make fun of Old People!!!!
You hear me?
I don't forget things!!!
Signs like those 👆 are indicators of
#TroublingAgeDiscrimination #WrinkleHaters #WereUnderSurveillance #TrackedByOurSSNs #AndOurOptometristPrescriptions #YoungPeopleSuck
⚡_____ ⚡ ಠ╭╮ಠ ⚡ _____ ⚡
#8)⇶ —A Sign that Children are a Serious Problem
What if they aren't my children?
What if the children volunteer to stay in the car?
What if the children are embarrassed to be seen with me?
What if yellow children only feel at home in a yellow car?
Do you have yellow kids? Is your last name Simpson? Do you🫵 know?
What if the car itself has abandonment issues?
What if I do look first? Then can I leave them unattended?
Again...
Ambiguity!
#SoManyUnansweredQuestions #ASignofTroublingTimes #AutosFirst #WhyBirthRatesRDeclining #BecauseKidsSuck
⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡
#9)⇶ —A Sign that Children Apparently Could Solve Some Problems (??)
Well, that☝ explains a lot.
Doesn't it seem logical those yellow kids were asking to stay in the car, so they weren't sacrificed?
And you know what I've always wondered?
When sacrificing a child, should they be seasoned first?
🤷♂️❓❔
#StrangeDays #TroublingTimes4Children #ConfusingTimes4Adults #RestroomsRatedRForViolence #KidsStillSuck #NoIamNOTaCurmudgeon
⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡
#10)⇶ —A Sign that Zombies Have More Discriminating Taste Than Portrayed By Hollywood
That would be awkward.
I guess.
Since I'm a comedic genius, I wouldn't know.
#TroublingTimesWhereverThatIs #Zombies,BringMeYerCaskets #We'llSplittheProfit #ZombiesEatHealthy #ThereRNoObeseZombies #ExceptPOTUS #VinceIsMAGA #MAGAIsVince #YeahIWentThere
⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡
#4?❓❔)↓⇊⇩↓⇊⇩ — Signs that the Elderly Get No Respect! 😠 😬❓❔😵💫⇩⇊⇩
DON'T make fun of Old People!!!!
It's wrong, on so many levels!
DON'T make fun of old people <like me!!!>
DON'T make fun of Old People <like me>!!!!
I don't forget things!
I know this is the first time I've.... um....
😳
...um....
🤔
😶🌫️
😬
DON'T make fun of Old People!!! 😠
#RepetitionIsNotRestricted2theOld #InsensitiveSignsOfTroublingTimes #MemoryIsAHarshMistress #ARoad2Tears #DidIMakeAWrongTurnAgain?
#YoungPeopleSuck
⚡_____ ⚡ ಠ╭╮ಠ ⚡ _____ ⚡
#11)⇶ —A Sign this Barry Bitch is Bland
Everyone already knew not to do this.
I'm still waiting for an answer about whether or not to season sacrificial kids.
Birds that aren't prepared by either Colonel Sanders or Taco Bell <mandatory 🌮🔔 advertisement inserted> will soon be as extinct as the dodo.
But don't let the penguins know I said that!
They're always spoiling the mood of my meme-ing masterpieces. Little fuckers are after me.
And they have a perverse way of seeing the bright side during these #TroubledTimes.
#ColdHeartedBitchBirds #TheyreEverywhere! #SoundingTheAlarm #NoOneWillHeedIt #MyWarningsRWasted #ComplacencyDestroysCivilizations #TroublingTimes4Real! #PenguinsKill
⚡_____ ⚡ (⊙ˍ⊙) ⚡ _____ ⚡
#12)⇶ —A Sign that Gulf County Supplied the Water for The Newly Renovated Reflecting Pool
I'm about sick of these signs. 😠
Why post a WARNING that will never be heeded? <Just like no one reads the WARNINGS associated with my memes? 😠>
Seriously... do the people of Gulf County really think that anyone will ever admit they don't have a watertight sphincter???
#IWouldnt #WaterTight&Proud #DangerousTimesIndeed #BacteriaIsGay #UseHydrogenPeroxide
< For more on sphincters, stick around for the post credits video at/in the end. Get it?⚡😁👍>
⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡
#13)⇶ —A Sign that Romance Isn't Dead
Yeah.
I did lose my job.
Totally worth it.
#SolaceinTroublingTimes #HonkIfYouGotBigTitties! #SaidWithLove #ForeverAPoet
⚡_____ ⚡ (⊙ˍ⊙) ⚡ _____ ⚡
#14)⇶ —A Sign that... 😨
😱 HOLY SHIT!!!! 😱
︵‿︵🤐
#QuestioningNothing!!! #ThatsTraumatic!!! #WhoDoesThat?!? #WhoAllowsThat?!?! #TheySetHisDICKonFire!!! #ShrivilsMeUp!!! #SearchingAmazonforAsbestosUnderwear #OuttaHere!
These are
#SignsofVERYTroublingTimes!!!!!
_____ (⊙ˍ⊙) _____
#UntilWeMemeAgain... 👋😁
↯
___________________Bolt⚡
<NOTE TO SELF: Don't forget the DONT sign.>
___________________Bolt⚡
🌟 POST CREDITS BONUS FEATURE!!! 🌟
Here's yet more proof👇 how wacko things have become midway through 2026.
We now exist in an age where you can't even trust weed.....?
WTF!!!????
Terribly Troubling Times Indeed!
With Apologies to Our Potent Community...
And finally...
This last one👇 isn't for the faint of heart, but I think it's necessary for you to have this information.
I'm spreading awareness.
⚡⚡ Prepare to be __shocked!⚡⚡⚡
#SphinctersRevisited Personally, I find this hysterical.
Okay. That's it for this episode.
Feed my ego in the comments and I'll be back soon with more! Theoretically.
Until then....
BEWARE PENGUINS BEARING GIFTS!
↯
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