If You🫵 Value Hilarious Memes: DON'T NOT Read This

Before we start-- First This Public Service Announcement and/or Disclaimer...

⚡ Hello again! 👋😁

It's me: __Lightning Bolt⚡!

I'm back with yet another hilarious edition of Meme-ing Madness!

The last edition of this ongoing series was an An Extra-Long All-New Expanded Super-Duper Hopefully-Non-Disappearing Hilarious Stupendous Ridiculous Mega-Addition of Meme-ing Madness!!!! (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

This 👇

I was convinced people would gobble it up, as they should have, because who doesn't need guffaws in these final days before nuclear Armageddon?

Much to my surprise, only 4 people read my explanation about why I was so Meme-ing Mad as Hell at Vocal!

FOUR!

We're talking

uno,

dos,

tres,

quatro--

numbers I can say in Spanish, and I know only six words in Spanish!! (the others being 'Taco Bell'.)

I spend so much time and exert so much effort to display my comedic genius and only four of you fuckers 🫵 bothered to read my shit!

That's just wrong on so many levels! 😠

Clearly you 🫵 are a problem (unless you're one of that Fabulous 4 <Love you, Oneg!>)!

But this is odd behavior that's not just annoying but also confusing.

Why is this happening to me?

Here's the way I reasoned this out.

My previous comedic masterpiece was a 12-minute read! I did that for you 🫵 , faithful readers.

That was a gift.

But I now wonder if you might have been put off by the longer read-time.

Have you🫵 even read this far in this story???

<crickets>

Here's what you🫵 need to be aware of.

First-- I shouldn't have to give a fuck if it takes 4 minutes to read or 127.

It's fucking tragic to try restricting a comedian in these terrible times.

Have we learned nothing from the unconscionable censoring/cancelling of Stephen Colbert?

😭😭😭😭😭😭

Second-- and this is the most salient point-- (it's actually the same point I already made-- belabored here)...

It doesn't matter if the read-time is 127 minutes or 127 hours. It's not like there is going to be a plot here. This is schtick. These are jokes. Expect a combination of sight gags (the memes) along with my brilliant comedic commentary/salacious jokes. (+ a brand new feature at the end⚡😁👍)

What I present to you now amounts to a series of cackliciousness that can be read at your leisure.

What I'm saying is— when you only have a few minutes to spend in the bathroom in the morning, don't look at that 12-min read-time and think, Gee, I don't have time for this.

You're potentially passing up innumerable laughs to start your day.

And as you read...

And as you laugh...

Just might just realize you have more shit in you than you originally thought!

Time flies when you're having fun!

<...and passing gas. 🤣😂 >

So, did that whiny rant make you feel sufficiently guilty about neglecting the last edition of my comedy? 🙎

Well, good. Because that's what I intended.

Just remember going forward after today-- if you start reading one of my stories and need to bail: do it.

But leave me a LIKE, at the very least, okay?

Leave comments too! They don't have to be truthful! They just need to be gushingly complementary.

You're not just hurting my little feelings, you're pissing me off.

So anyway...

Here's one more thing to consider before proceeding...

My comedy comes with certain risks, besides the obvious one: you're likely to fall head over heels in love with me.

This👇 explains everything you need to know.

I need to point out that not enough of you🫵 have read that👆 either!

That's downright alarming.

And insulting. 🙎

But let's just move on.

I don't pretend to understand mankind.

I just make fun of you 🫵 .

So without further adieu, let's get this party started, shall we?

#1) — Feeling like the First Meme Should Set the General Tone for Everything to Cum... er... Come

Wait.

Are you saying you can find penises (peni?) on craiglist?!?

... asking for a friend.

⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡

#2) — Feeling Aroused <as is wont to always happen when I share my brilliance with you>

It really depends on who's calling for what.

.... and whether or not 'Dial' is an antiperspirant.

Just sayin.

⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡

#3) — Feeling Like Qdoba is Way Less Judgmental than Panda Express

The one I got today was even worse. It said...

He'll be elected for a third term.

⚡😱😱😱😱😱😱⚡

⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡

#4) — Feeling Like Dialing 911

I'm poor. You people 🫵 are stingy about giving tips. (Hey! Don't look at me like that! The Truth Hurts!)

And Vocal pays me shit.

So I'm looking for work... but only if this particular place👆 is hiring.

Anyone got their phone number or email address?

I can provide references.

⚡😁👍

⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡

#5) — Feeling Absolutely Horrified 😱⚡

⚡😱😱😱😱😱😱⚡

😨

🤢

🤮🤮🤮🤮

I mean...

🤢

🤮🤮🤮🤮

But...

The price of hamburger is astronomically high because of the tariffs whereas, relatively speaking, $3.99 isn't that bad. Especially if I'm stocking up in bulk for the End Times.

🤔

Maybe I should...

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

I definitely won't.

🤢

⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡

#6) — Feeling Even MORE Horrified!!! 😱⚡

⚡😱😱😱😱😱😱⚡

I would never cut it as an octopus.

Until I learned this👆 horrific fact, I figured octopussy was probably both wet and snuggly.

As a teenager, that's what I always thought Jacques Cousteau was out there on the high seas searching for.

#CrossingThatOffMyBucketlist

⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡

#7) — Feeling Like I Might be Regaining My Appetite

That's how Subway tricks people into eating pork inverted rectum. 🤮

Everything tastes better after an elicit fuck.

And can you even imagine what would happen if they mistakenly served your ho the in-inverted (non-inverted?) kind of pork?!?

⚡😱😱😱😱😱😱⚡

⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡

#8) — Feeling Like Most Audiences Can Never Get Too Much Cock

(Am I right? 😉)

This entire routine has turned out to be a disconcerting blend of things sexy and sickening.

It's hard to know whether to get hard or not.

What can I say?

I'm foul. 🤷

So, this one is a double bill.

🐔🦆

Get it?

🤣😂

I think I figured out why there is no Duck Fil-A.

It's because dyslexics are too likely to get the D and F juxtaposed.

⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡

#9) — Feeling Squeamish Yet Again

I really don't know any Jewish people and I'm ignorant about their customs, but it seems to me this is exactly why they shouldn't wait to have their foreskins removed.

🤢😱

⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡

#10) — Feeling Nearly Finished Here

🎼🎵🎶 The Future is So Bright, I Gotta Wear... something.

🤷

⚡_____ ⚡ (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) ⚡ _____ ⚡

Okay. So, there you go.

That's 10 memes.

That's enough.

It turned out to be half the length of the last one.

It's what you deserve.

You have only yourselves to blame.

If about 127 of you were a bit more appreciative, you might have gotten another 6-7 belly laughs. But as it is—you're skating on thin ice.

So please proceed now to the comments to appreciate me in a way befitting a true Memelord.

<<Oh, and phone your friends! Tell your neighbors! Share this comedy with everyone you know-- including your pets. Share it on Facebook and Instagram and OnlyFans and every imaginable form of social media. The more people who read this, the more I'll feel valued, and the less severe your bad karma will be.

Fuckers.🫵>>

That's it, kids!

Until next time...

Don't take any inverted pig rectums!

↯

_____________________Bolt ⚡

Introducing a New-Post Credit Segment!!!

I bring to you a

Random Comedy Clip!

I'll regularly share various moments that I personally find hysterical. And in honor of the premature passing on The Late Show on CBS (🚫 boycott Paramount!!!🚫), David Letterman joins Steven Colbert to destroy CBS's shit!

Steven Colbert has given me more laughs than anyone since the oligarch took over America; I am going to miss him tremendously... so watching this👇 makes me so happy! I grin and giggle throughout all this.

Hopefully, it'll make you chuckle too.

Okay.

Do did this laugh-fest leave you wanting more? If so, go read the following(s)👇 , and leave comments on it saying how guilty and ashamed you feel for skipping it (them) until now.

Need I always remind you?

Comedy is hard.

⚡