Irony
The Mathematics Are Clearly Not Mathing
Humanity has accomplished some impressive things. We have split the atom, mapped the human genome, landed machines on Mars, photographed black holes, and created tiny computers powerful enough to access virtually all accumulated human knowledge while sitting on the toilet.
By The Pompous Postabout 22 hours ago in Humor
Beasts of Burden
There was a time when romance required very little infrastructure. At twenty-three, you could meet somebody at a party, stay out until two in the morning, eat something from a food truck whose health inspection certificate appeared to have been printed during the Carter administration, and then fall asleep on a couch containing three failed springs and a decorative pillow shaped like a beer can. You woke up six hours later feeling terrific, and went to work without showering.
By The Pompous Post5 days ago in Humor
The Bionic Herald Declares War on the Gray Lady
On my first day at The Bionic Herald, I was told three things: Never mention “clickbait” in front of the editor-in-chief. Never praise the New York Times within earshot of the copy desk. And never, under any circumstances, ask why the office espresso machine is labeled “Pulitzer Fuel.”
By The Pompous Post19 days ago in Humor
DISCLAIMER
A lot of the content on this blog is extreme, offensive, and extremely offensive. Sorry. I am a vulgarian, I wish I wasn't, but I am. What's more: I have always been a vulgarian. I think it's because, where my parents' generation got Monty Python and The Beatles, my generation got South Park and Eminem; frankly, I think us millennials got a raw deal as far as that goes (and also housing, and the job market, and the environment, so on and so forth). The influence of such crass media has irreparably tainted my mind, so much so that, while doing some routine cleaning, I started singing "hello penis my old friend; I've come to blow six guys again" to the tune of Simon and Garfunkle's Sound of Silence . Other hits include "cut my wife into pieces, I told her to abort" to the tune of Last Resort by Papa Roach, and "chickity China, the Chinese wiggers, you play a dope beat and the slopes start spitting" to the tune of One Week by Barenaked Ladies. I am not proud of this, and I alternate between making myself laugh out loud, and slamming my car door against my head to try and put an end to these retarded thoughts.
By INSANITY PROPER20 days ago in Humor
Four Things Humanity Has Never Properly Explained
Human civilization has accomplished some remarkable things. We split the atom. We landed people on the moon. We built machines capable of seeing galaxies billions of light-years away. Somewhere, at this very moment, scientists are using supercomputers to model the origins of the universe. And yet, three plastic clothes hangers placed side by side in a closet can still form a knot that no living mathematician could explain.
By The Pompous Post22 days ago in Humor
How to Watch Jordan Peele Films with White People. Top Story - August 2026.
It may seem silly to have to remind people that audiences are not the same everywhere you go. There were many white people who found it odd that ''Get Out'' was such a massive hit with the black community. And yet, it was (I saw it twice in one week), as were ''Us'' and ''Nope''. So this is just a handy guide for those of you who want to make your white friends comfortable while watching the films of this very interesting man’s oeuvre (a pretentious term that your white friends will love).
By Kendall Defoe 27 days ago in Humor
Is Reading on the Toilet Still a Thing?
There was a time in America when entering someone's bathroom meant being granted access to their private literary collection. Nobody discussed this. Nobody questioned it. You simply walked into the restroom, locked the door, sat down, and discovered that your host had thoughtfully provided enough reading material to survive a minor gastrointestinal emergency.
By The Pompous Post29 days ago in Humor
