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Daily Balkan Humor

Laughter for every day.

By Sen SabPublished 25 days ago 3 min read

Speed

"I saw that the police caught you. What happened?"

"I was going too slow."

"Wait, you mean you were going too fast?"

"No, if I were going too fast, they wouldn't have caught me."

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Tired Maria

Maria went to the doctor and complained of being tired.

"How often do you have sex per week?" he asks.

"Three times. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays," says Maria.

"Try skipping Wednesday," says the doctor. "Rest a bit more."

"I can't skip Wednesday, doctor, it's the only day I'm with my husband."

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Salami

A guy comes into a store and asks to buy salami:

"A meter of salami, please."

The seller responds:

"We don't sell salami by the meter, but by the kilogram!"

And the guy says:

"Alright then, a kilometer!"

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Dream

Two condoms are walking down the street and one complains:

"Lately, I keep dreaming about kids!"

To which the other replies:

"Well, you've sprung a leak!"

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The third woman always knows

Women are talking while getting their hair done. The first one says:

"My husband said he was going to his brother's place, but I called and he's not there."

The second one says:

"Mine said he was going to his mother's, but I called and he's not there either."

Then the third woman says:

"I always know where my husband is."

The other two say:

"That's impossible!"

The third woman replies:

"It's possible, I'm a widow."

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Failure

The son comes home from school, running happily towards his father saying:

"Dad, dad! You won't need to buy me books for the next school year!"

His father asks, puzzled:

"Why is that, son?"

"Because I'm repeating the grade!"

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Sermon

The priest enters the pulpit and says:

"Dear parishioners, today there will be no sermon!"

The people, naturally happy, think the Mass will end sooner. However, the priest continues:

"But instead, today we will collect double the offering!"

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Two computers

Two computers are walking down the street, and one says:

"Look at that girl! She has such properties!"

"Forget it, she's read-only!"

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Hairs

The teacher is writing on the chalkboard with her right hand. Suddenly, little Johnny shouts:

"Teacher, you don't have any hair under your right armpit."

She gets angry and tells him:

"Pack up your things and don't show up at school for a week."

A week passes, and the teacher is writing again with her right hand. At one point, she raises her left hand to scratch her head.

Little Johnny shouts again:

"Teacher, you don't have any hair under your left armpit."

The teacher gets even more angry and says:

"Pack up your things and I don't want to see you in class for a month."

After a month passes, Johnny returns and watches the teacher writing again. That day, she was wearing a short miniskirt. Suddenly, she drops the chalk and bends down to pick it up. At that moment, Johnny starts packing his things.

"Where are you going?" asks the teacher.

To which Johnny replies:

"For me, this school year is over."

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Police Officers

One police officer received a vase as "Officer of the Month" award. While carrying it home, he inadvertently turned the vase upside down without realizing it. He proudly presents the vase to his wife and says:

"Look, honey, what your husband brought home!"

She replies:

"What did you bring me, dummy? It has no opening, where do I put the flowers? Go ahead, nicely return it to the commander and ask for another..."

The officer goes to the commander sadly and says:

"Commander, why did you give me a defective vase as a gift? My wife almost lynched me. It doesn't have an opening for putting flowers..."

The commander takes a look, can't believe it:

"Indeed, it has no opening!" he declares sharply.

Then he looks at it from below and exclaims in astonishment:

"It doesn't even have a bottom, damn!"

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FamilyWitSatireSarcasmRoastParodyLaughterJokesIronyHilariousComedyWritingComedyClubComedians

About the Creator

Sen Sab

Join me in exploring the extraordinary in the ordinary, and let's dive deep into the realms of imagination and understanding together

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Comments (2)

  • Kendall Defoe 24 days ago

    Okay, you made my day!

  • Margaret Brennan25 days ago

    funny; I needed a laugh. please write more.

Sen SabWritten by Sen Sab

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