Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/molecular biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater
Is It Really Possible To Have No Sense of Humor?
A writing colleague on the site recently published a piece in which she commented on her “lack of sense of humor”. This statement stuck in my head, and for the past few days I have been ruminating on the question trying to determine if such a thing is actually possible. To start let’s just rule out the unusual cases, the medical oddities, brain injuries, etc. No doubt there are certain disease states or brain injury patterns which can result in the total or almost total erasure of the ability find anything funny. Truly that would be a sad fate, and my heart goes out to any such persons that may be alive out there. I intend to restrict my question to the mentally stable, mentally healthy, or at least as mentally stable and healthy as it is possible for anyone to be in these times we live in. The question is for a person of sound mind and body is it possible to lack a sense of humor? I believe the answer is no, it is not possible, and in the following discussion I will attempt to show why this is the case through the method of logical analysis. Ironically, logical analysis is the least humorous method of doing anything, which is why I think it is perfect for this particular task.
The Argan Oil Chronicles
Moroccan Argan Oil Minister Charged With Price Fixing - Coconut, Macademia, Kalahari Melon Seed, Almond, and Baobab Oils All Implicated in Plot to Set Price Floor in the Lucrative Hair Oil Market
The Argan Oil Chronicles
Author's preface: By popular demand I will be republishing all 18 articles in my award winning series featuring argan oil, the world’s greatest hair and beauty oil, and Morocco’s trump card in their secret plot to control the worlds dwindling supply of hair oil reserves. If you are reading this you can’t say you were not warned. The series is presented in chronological order (or close enough) for the argan oil chronicles completist. Part I - The early years features some of my earliest forays into the exciting, humorous, and hair frizz free world of argan oil. Thank you country of Morocco for being such a good sport about the whole thing. I do very much admire your country and would love to visit someday. Enjoy!
Challenging the King on Writing
Stephen King’s Top 13 Writing Tips - The king of horror can teach us a lot. Far be it from me to question a writer as popular and successful as Stephen King. A better reason for me to do it there could not possibly be.
It is With Much Regret That I Must Inform You I Cannot Accept the Position of Your Boyfriend
Author's preface: While digging through my vast archives I stumbled across this humor piece from 2018. It was a response to an article in which the author informed a sometimes hook up partner that she would accept him as her boyfriend were he to meet a series of very specific requirements. She wrote it in the form of a job acceptance letter in which she was the company CEO and he the job applicant. It was hard to tell if she was being serious or if it was all tongue in cheek. In any case I had to respond in kind and what you see below is that response. Unfortunately I cannot locate the original article upon which this was based and did not link it for reasons I cannot recall, but most likely simple laziness. This post was particularly popular (for me) and it spurred a lot of discussion in the comments section. Not sure if this is going to make the 600 word cutoff or not so going to pad this preface with just a couple of sentences worth of nonsense in order that I might play it safe. Hmmm. Maybe just one or two more filler sentences and then I should be good. This would be the second filler sentence. And, to play it really safe, here is the third. Thank you six hundred word count minimum for another waste of thirty seconds of mine, and whoever is reading this, day. Dumbest rule, ever. In any case, enjoy!
The Simulationist Church
Author’s note: I just can’t get away from this stuff. I haven’t written anything about the simulation hypothesis in over a month and sort of figured I was basically done with it. The weird phone calls from unknown numbers and strange emails with domain names I don’t recognize had stopped as well. It seemed all the nutjobs had given up on messing with me. Then a voice recording from a number I did not know came through on my personal cell phone. With the recording was a text which read — “listen SH quit” My transcription of the voice recording is below. The man reading the message sounded quite calm and completely rational, maybe a little sleepy, but it was not a voice I recognized. It ended suddenly as these things seem to always do.
What is Evolution For?
Author's preface: This story was originally spiked by Vocal's censors and not approved for publication due to "religious content" As I have pointed out over and over again Vocal's censorship policies are absurd, unjust, and unsustainable and they must end eventually. However, until that day, if one wants to continue publishing here, one must abide by the will of the censor. I have "adjusted" the original article to remove any "religious content", or at least, I think I have. It is impossible to know for certain as what exactly qualifies as "religious content" is wildly debatable which is an example of just one of the reasons Vocal's censorship policies are unjust. In any event, read on and see if you can spot the altered content.
The Simulationist Church
A translated excerpt from the Italian Codex Simulationista (S1.s3.2) Transubsimulation is defined in the Simulationist faith as the point in time at which the base code that makes up/represents/is the universe in which all simulations (ourselves included) reside became/becomes real/simulated. Unlike the concept of transubstantiation in the Catholic faith, which occurs every time the wine and eucharist is made real (into the blood and body of Christ) during the Catholic mass, transubsimulation only occurs once (per level of the simulation, if such levels actually exist/are simulated). Some Simulationists have argued that the concept of time itself is only relevant in the simulation, and therefore to suggest that transubsimulation occurs at a point in time is incorrect. For these atemporal transubsimulationists the “birth” of the simulated universe occurs at no time but instead represents the first moment of (simulated) time itself. The correctness of either view may be impossible to ascertain until the coming of the Simulator(s).