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About Me - Everyday Junglist

by Everyday Junglist 10 months ago in Humanity
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Intelligent Nonsense

Who is the everyday junglist? Wouldn’t you like to know. Would you? If so read on. If not, click away now. Hurry, before someone sees yo

The article where I pretend you care to know anything about who I am, where I came from, where I’m going, what I do now, or what I plan to do someday

Do you care? Cause that would be great. No? Oh. Damn. Will you still be my friend? No? Oh, ok, well nice meeting you, maybe we could go have a cup of coffee or something sometime? No? Oh. Ok. Well, I don’t really like coffee anyway so who’s laughing now tough guy or gal? Who’s laughing now? Hopefully you, and by you I mean you, the reader, the person who at this very moment is reading these very words. Hopefully you are laughing, or at least smiling, or at least not frowning, or crying, cause that would suck, especially if you are crying. I am super sorry for whatever is upsetting you if you are crying right now. Damn, now I’m depressed thinking about you sitting there alone in the dark, staring at your computer, reading these words and crying. Bummer. That about wraps up the introduction and now for the background beginning with……

Some other stuff you might be wondering about but probably aren’t, one thing I’m wondering about, and a couple other things you ought to know, all in choose your own adventure format for some reason.

What is intelligent nonsense? Great question. Next question. Do you like argan oil? Do you find it in any way funny, or perhaps even hilarious? If yes proceed to page 2 if no turn to page 6

Page 2

You are definitely going to like a bunch of the other stupid shit I write about and you might enjoy/find funny/hate/find completely nonsensical all the other serious shit I write about. Go to page 10.

Page 6

You might still like some of the other stupid or serious shit I write about, but you will want to ignore all those argan oil articles I wrote. There are a lot of those (or is it them?). In addition to argan oil I am also interested in and regularly write about the following: humor, philosophy, science, philosophy of science, technology, cats, business, idiots, data “science”, neuroscience, art, action/adventure, politics, romance, fiction, microbiology, molecular biology, religion, the simulation hypothesis, machine learning, and/or artificial intelligence, listicles, Elon Musk, Mt. Dew, and/or Arby’s plus just about everything else that exists or has existed in this universe or the wider multi-verse.

Pro tip: You know how everyone says to be a successful writer you should focus in one or two areas. I continue to prove them correct. Also, Arby’s I will never forgive you for selling out to the Coca-Cola company and no longer carrying Mt. Dew but instead it’s third grade toilet advice rhymed equivalent, Mellow Yellow.

In any event, if you like/love/admire/hate/loathe/can’t stand any of those things I listed just before the pro tip interlude and Arby’s rant, or if you are a glutton for punishment, or for no reason other than the fact that these contrasting colored stains in funny shapes on your screen are telling you to, go to page 10.

Page 10

Please forgive any offense you may (will) take, and give my writings a chance as a totality, rather than condemn it all for one or two minor slips of the tongue that you may recoil at. Believe me when I say that I do not believe most of the horrible things I say. Should you believe that? Now that is a head scratcher.

If you know me personally (i.e. friends, enemies, casual acquaintances, family members) please proceed with caution. Try to remember that this is not me. I mean it is me, but it’s not me, does that make sense? No? Didn’t think so. Oh well, in any event try not to think too badly of me in real life because of anything you might see or read in these pages. Finally, and I cannot stress this enough, in any piece in which I make reference to friends or family in a negative light know that it is for purposes of the story I am trying to tell only. I love my friends and family more than anything else in the world and would never do or say anything intentionally to hurt them. Please forgive me if I do.

Do I Really Have a Newsletter? Great Question. Answer, I Definitely Have a Form to Sign Up for One and it is Below.

My email newsletter sign up form part I. Note: For illustrative purposes only. Cannot actually be filled in or submitted. That is, unless you really want to. Then I suppose you could print out a hard copy, fill it in by hand, scan it back into your computer and snail mail it to me, if you had my address that is. Do you? Have my address? I sure hope not. If you do please address all hate mail to my attn: Occupant #5.

My email newsletter sign up form part II. Note: see note in above caption.

And

Thank you Medium for reinstating my account after suspending me. But I will probably never forgive you for suspending me for the second time, ya bastards. Oh wait a minute, I almost forgot about

Microbiology Themed Art Like Objects

I have a thriving business making and giving away art like objects with a microbiology theme. A few examples are below. If you would like a microbiology themed art like object for yourself, and have deep pockets, feel free to reach out by email.

Example microbiology themed art like object. It makes learning fun!

Whimsical and not popular

Is it a mushroom or is it a mold? Dumb question

Pretty

Finally, I would be remiss if I did not mention the Post Apocalyptic Moulds

And yes moulds is spelled correctly Mr. or Mrs. Spellcheckerington. See the link above for a little bit of background on the PA Moulds. BTW they are fully licensed and trademarked so don't even think about stealing them.

Mold miasma featuring three of the post apocalyptic moulds. Can you find them all? It's actually not really very fun to try so don't bother.

Humanity

About the author

Everyday Junglist

Practicing mage of the natural sciences (Ph.D. micro/molecular biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday Junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, No tie shoelace user, Humorist, Argan oil aficionado.

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