Texas After Tragedy
I work at a middle school. I provide in-class support for students, students in both special education and general education. During my conference period, which is near the end of the school day, I checked my phone as I usually do. When I scrolled to the news updates, the entire section was flooded with notifications of the elementary shooting in Uvalde, Texas. I hesitantly clicked on one of the articles, only to find out that 19 children were killed in this shooting by an 18-year old with 2 assault rifles. 19 children. 19 innocent souls celebrating the last days of school before summer vacation. The tears welled up in my eyes as I continued to read. Apparently, the gunman had just turned 18 years old. He had shot his grandmother the morning of the shooting, and crashed his car in front of the school building. He proceeded to enter the school, and started shooting students, continuing room by room to murder more innocent children.
Being the observer sucks at times, especially at times where one side of my brain is screaming at me having a tantrum because it wants me to spout off with something along the lines of, oh, I see you have new sheets and the other side is yelling back in arguement, no that is NOT your best choice.
No Room for Shakespeare
If you looked at us, you would have to make sure that you looked twice. That would have to be the rule with us. There is so much that you could miss with only one glance; one quick stare without any kind of follow up. And you would regret this.
Please Don't Stand Too Close To Me!
I would consider myself to be a pretty laid back and chill person. Of course, that obviously doesn’t mean that there aren’t things that people do that annoy me. I’ve thought long and hard (well maybe not too hard) about the things that I find a bit annoying. And so, I came up with a list. Here goes!
Plans for 2022
A couple weeks ago, my social media timelines were alive with people discussing their top 2021 accomplishments. My first thought? I survived.
New York City
I hate this place; I really do. It's just too much, like why? Why exist? The city that never sleeps, come on; are you kidding me? The streets are paved with rats, pee, and garbage. The people are rude, testy and more hungry for money than love; so you can buy any one of em, if the number is right. The noise is nauseating and deafening. Between the 6 months of dynamite and firecrackers, the drunkenness year round, the maxed out speakers riding down the street with all the windows open, the dirt bike drag races, never ending construction sounds. I can't fucking hear myself think a thought.
Most Important Financial Quotes from the Holy Bible
- The borrower is a slave to the lender. When you are in debt to another, you enter into a slave/master relationship with your creditor - Proverbs 22:7
Dear Mama, You know that you are one of my favorite girls in the world. I have something to tell you. Please don't be hurt. Read the whole letter before you respond, ok? So, here goes...as a child, I resented you and dad. I was always held to a different and seemingly higher standard than my younger brother. I wondered why. I thought that maybe it was because you guys loved him more. I felt like we were being raised by two different sets of parents. Like one example: my grades in school mattered a lot. It was unacceptable for me to bring home anything less than an A. Well, I was able to get away with the occasional B+. My brother got $20 for every A or B he earned. Daddy said it was to motivate him to do well in school and to start taking school more seriously. I accepted that justification. I accepted it as in I didn't ask about it anymore. I went on to graduate at the top of my class. My brother ended up dropping out. I wanted to go to college but no one wanted to co-sign for any loans for me. I somehow ended up finding out that daddy could borrow money from his retirement to use for a child's college tuition. When I asked for it, he said he was saving that option for my brother. Saving it for my brother?!? SERIOUSLY?? My brother couldn't even be bothered to finish school and graduate so WHY ON EARTH would he be going to college? Mommy, I was so hurt. I felt so confused, like I was on a different bizzaro planet. I was the one that had to get up every day at 5 am to catch the public bus across town to high school. My brother was driven to and from school. I had to wash, dry and iron my own clothes. Daddy washed, dried, ironed AND laid out my brothers clothes for school daily. He was in high school. The justification for all that was similar to the justification for paying him for good grades. You guys did those things to make sure he actually made it to school. When it came out that my brother would sleep in the ally by our house instead of going to school, I accepted the justification. I still did not understand it though. Then I grew up. As an adult, I went first from resentment to gratitude. I am grateful I am independent. Doing things on my own as a teen equipped me with the skills to take care of myself as an adult. Unfortunately though, the things being done on my brothers behalf to keep him in school actually ended up making him completely dependent. He will live with you and daddy until you both pass away, then he will become my responsibility. I sometimes freak out thinking about it to be honest. Anyway,after I grew up, I had children of my own. After having children of my own, gratitude gave way to understanding. I am still grateful, but I understand now. There is no manual for parenting. You just try the best that you can with what you have. You do whatever you can to help your children succeed. You make sacrifices for your children. Thank you mommy. Thank you for pushing me forward. I am absolutely the woman I am today because of you. I mean, daddy helped out too lol. I appreciate you mom. I thank you mom. Most of all, I love you mom. You are one of a kind and super awesome!
Sometimes I Hate Being a Woman
*This article was originally posted on Medium. January 18, 2022 I was walking out of an appointment when a car pulled up in front of me.
The Time I Gave Myself Shingles
*This article was originally posted on Medium. One day while I was studying, I felt a sharp stinging pain across the under of my lefthand shoulder. Over time this uncomfortable pain persisted, and I thought nothing of it at first. It wasn't until I noticed the formation of bumps that I decided to schedule a doctor's appointment.
Dear Mom, It's been 32 years since I entered this world and our relationship began. Poverty, pain, and panic attacks have littered the road, but we've made it! I often reflect on the time we have spent together and the rocky path we have walked to arrive here.
The Man in His Tower
I bet you stare out of that office window at the sweltering hot pavement below like you’re a fish in a bowl, longing for nothing more than your freedom. You’re up there, somewhere, on the 56th floor, perhaps, and you’re looking on down at the road like you’re missing the very ‘first’ — the very first catch of the season…