Irony
Why Can't I Touch Your Dog?
I am a people-pleasing Beta Male — the sort of non-confrontational man-child who will actively apologize for being in the way if you run over my foot with a supermarket shopping cart, and then agonize for an hour afterward over whether my tone was slightly too aggressive.
By Scott Christenson🌴about a month ago in Humor
Everything Is Fine
There is something reassuring about waking up in the morning, pouring yourself a cup of coffee, and spending the first few quiet minutes of the day discovering all the new and exciting ways civilization has apparently gone off the rails while you were sleeping.
By The Pompous Postabout a month ago in Humor
The Mathematics Are Clearly Not Mathing
Humanity has accomplished some impressive things. We have split the atom, mapped the human genome, landed machines on Mars, photographed black holes, and created tiny computers powerful enough to access virtually all accumulated human knowledge while sitting on the toilet.
By The Pompous Postabout a month ago in Humor
Beasts of Burden
There was a time when romance required very little infrastructure. At twenty-three, you could meet somebody at a party, stay out until two in the morning, eat something from a food truck whose health inspection certificate appeared to have been printed during the Carter administration, and then fall asleep on a couch containing three failed springs and a decorative pillow shaped like a beer can. You woke up six hours later feeling terrific, and went to work without showering.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
The Bionic Herald Declares War on the Gray Lady
On my first day at The Bionic Herald, I was told three things: Never mention “clickbait” in front of the editor-in-chief. Never praise the New York Times within earshot of the copy desk. And never, under any circumstances, ask why the office espresso machine is labeled “Pulitzer Fuel.”
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
