OH NO, MY EX!

Dear Lex,

What do you do when you see your ex in person?

Anon

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Dear Anon,

For me, that is an easy question. Every time I have dated someone, the relationship started off with a friendship. Because of this, regardless of how the relationship ended, we were able to be friends after. Even if the relationship ended in turmoil, we were always able to find a common ground later on in life. Whenever I see one of my ex's in person, I either speak or I don't but whether I do or not is not dependent on the fact that they are my ex... it simply depends on if I feel like speaking or not.

There are many times when I do not speak to someone in person simply because I am in a rush.

Your question makes it sound like you may still either have feelings with this ex or some unresolved issues. Either way, I recommend reaching out to them and resolving whatever it is that makes you question what you should do whenever you see them in person.

Remind yourself that although the two of you may not be together, if there are some feelings or unresolved issues on your end this is completely normal. In today's society there is this idea that once the two of you are over, everything is over but most of time, one of you if not both you, will still think about the relationship. Regardless of how a relationship ends, majority of the time, there are still good things that happened during it and that you are able to take with you after.

If you find yourself still thinking about your ex, it is important to figure out whether yo actually still have feelings for THEM or if you just hold onto a memory of what you wish could have happened. The only way to truly figure out the difference is if you look at the facts of the relationship, instead of your feelings. Our hearts have a funny way of keeping us in situations longer than we should be whether it be literally, mentally or emotionally.

Often times we can even think we are over someone even when we are not. We will have absolutely no clue that feelings or unresolved issues are still there until something triggers them to appear to the forefront of our brain. Then in those moments we scramble out of shock because for so long we tucked away feelings and never actually took the time to deal with them. Now out of no where they reappear during a moment in our life where we were least expecting it.

If you see your ex in public and feel the need to speak... then hey, I say why not! YOLO HAHA!

If you do not feel comfortable speaking in person, do not feel ashamed. Simply reach out through text like I said before... if you find yourself not having the courage to do that either, maybe go and like their picture on instagram or something. I know it may sound a little childish but at the end of the day, you got to do something or those feelings will forever remain unsolved and you may wake up with that ... "what if" feeling.

However, if your relationship ended due to violance or anything abusive, I do not at all recommend reaching out. If you see an ex of this nature in person, my only advice would be to keep walking. Even if you find yourself still thinking of this person, I would put that relationship in the past and just continue to do what you need to do to heal and move forward in life. Sometimes even the worst relationships have a way of holding onto a soft spot in our heart but that does not mean that we should go back or entertain the idea of it any longer.

I hope this helped! Goodluck and YOLO!