With COVD19, making others ill all over the world nothing will ever be the same again. The hope for everyone has in the balance. But for me, Hope is what keeps me going.

All of my life, I have been alone, sad, feelings of abandonment. Feeling unloved. But this past year he found me again, November 29th, 2019, something wonderful happened Shane found me again. They say when you love someone so much set them free. I did that, and it nearly tore me up inside. I have heard that saying, love hurts. It does hurt.

The texting began at 8:30 AM. A bit early compared to normal. I mean, they always shared good morning texts, but then would each do their work. Maybe a few messages around lunch time.

Love: Websters dictionary- attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers Infatuation: Websters dictionary- a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love for, admiration for, or interest in someone or something : strong and unreasoning attachment

After divorce I decided like many to taking time for myself for a while to "work on me". Really this was just that adjusting to survival mode and merging into sustain mode. I took a long while for me, I have kids and was married for 14 years, I needed time to adjust to life. But after a while it does get lonely, even with kids around and going to work there is that "something is missing" feeling that starts to sit in over time.

life is a Battle People change when priorities change. I learned that personally. At this point in my life, I have noticed that I don’t have many friends or families around me... Friends come and go, and families go far away from where we don’t see them anymore. Priorities change when you start seeing who is more important, what is more significant, and how many responsibilities we have in life. Some people learn this sooner in life, and some take a little longer. I personally think that I had some duties to begin with. Still, I didn’t know how many responsibilities I will have later in life. Now my priorities changed, and I see I have lost a lot of friends and families.

After all, making a good first impression without sounding too desperate or strongly opinionated is no easy task. Most men try extra hard and put too much pressure on themselves, which ends up spoiling their chance of taking things forward and getting a second date.

The day I lost my heart was the day that I saw her. Olivia Spinder, the most beautiful girl in all of Spudsdale county, waltzed into Spudsdale high on February 9th, 2016 and I lost my mind. Her golden locks of hair and sparkling turquoise eyes stood out among all of us ordinary people. Her cheekbones were high and her smile was straight and blinding. My name is Annabelle Christenson and I’m no longer sure who I am.

The coronavirus has further reduced people's encounters. I also had less meetings with people and was so bored that I downloaded the dating app. And I was curious to see my friend use it. It was my first experience and I deleted the app in 3 days.

Imagine. The feeling of pure adrenaline coursing through your veins as you walk into staffroom for lunch, only to lock eyes on a lingering regret. I lost my appetite. Him? I should’ve expected it; things had been going well, too well. We call the staffroom the ‘fishbowl’ because all the students on their lunch break can see in but pretend we don’t exist and as long as they keep down, we extend them the same courtesy. Much like a child’s pet goldfish. Luckily, fate placed me on the other side of a window and apparently the awkwardness emanating from me was yet to be noticed. I promptly returned from whence I came.

How must one know if they are in a toxic relationship or if they are in a healthy relationship? Well if you wake up feeling like you are unworthy every day that could be a sign that you are in a toxic relationship. Now waking up feeling great about life well then you have nothing to worry about, you are right where you need to be. Being with someone who is toxic can come in many forms and can often lead to abuse. Being with someone who is healthy for you comes in many different positive forms and helps so much on your mental health than anything.

Have you guys ever fallen in love with someone you met through a group chat because you had the same kind of interests? Well I have. This is how I fell in love with my beautiful fiancé Danielle. It was just a regular day in our anime group chat and we were all cracking jokes like we usually do. Danielle and I didn’t really talk to each other like that but I tried to get her more active in our group chat because everyone in there was so friendly and really good people. She was the kind of person who’d open up the chat and then say maybe one or two words and leave. As days progressed she started to become more attuned with the group and we all casually grew closer. One day I saw on her Facebook page that she was doing readings and being the person I am I was interested to see what she’d tell me so I messaged her about my reading. We exchanged numbers because messenger doesn’t allow super long videos. I have to say that a good percentage of her reading was spot on. I was always drowning myself in my own thoughts with my head down but then she said “More days are going to come where you won’t have to look down for a while, and instead you’ll be looking up.” Fast forward before I started talking to Danielle on a personal level I would just playfully flirt with the girls in the group chat. Around this time it was drawing near my birthday, I didn’t do anything for it but go to work and go right back home because I don’t know many people out here. I still don’t but I made some good memories with the people I’ve met and worked with I would say. It was my 24th birthday and everyone in the group chat wished me happy birthday and I thanked all of them as anyone would. Danielle had sent me a little bit of birthday money , which I was not expecting her to do so I tried to get her to take it back. It was $50 and I didn’t feel right with her giving me that much. But she was adamant about not taking it back. Heck I still tell her to take her money back when she offers me something. Danielle and I started talking more casually after that and the more we talked the closer we grew to each other and I eventually gave her the nickname Dani Bear 🐻, she instantly loved the nickname too so that was a fantastic thing for me. I’d say maybe about 2 months past and we’re talking to each other about our past relationships and how we want to be with someone who understands us and won’t hurt us like the others have done before. So I confess my feelings for her in the group chat saying that she’s the only one I want. Yes that’s very bold of me, but it had to be said before I ended up missing my chance. That same day she said she had feelings for me too. With our feelings being one in the same we started dating. It was June 4th when I asked her out and she said yes. We’ve been together ever since. I have come to the conclusion that this woman is who I wanna spend the rest of my life with no matter what. I’ve steeled myself for this and for her. That is what it means to be in love and I love this woman with all of my heart.