With a little effort and determination, everyone can spice up their relationship. And the best part? The more often you do it, the easier it will become. Here are four things to know about keeping a long term relationship alive – and how to do them.
I remember it was during the summer of 1963. I just got off my shift at the Louisville Bedding Company with my best friend, Carol Sue. Carol Sue looked at the complete opposite of me. She had long, blonde hair, a curvy build, and bold lips. I, on the other hand, was tall, skinny, and short, brown hair.
Sex is a fundamental part of most relationships, especially in those that involve relatively young partners, where sexual attraction is much more durable.
There’s something in the sky tonight. A tingle. A whisper. Electric, green waves roll their way across the starlit sky as if sending messages from the universe to the earth. The wolves’ howls in the distance, carried along by the chill, winter breeze, make their way across the mountains and down into the forest where Rebecca lies. Her velvet, brown hair caresses her pale cheeks as she turns her head to face the glass windows above her. She has finally made it back to Igloo Village. The howling breeze, as cool and soothing as the blanket of bleached-white snow on the ground outside, strokes the needles of the surrounding pine trees and compels the owls among their branches to hoot, almost as if in melody with each other. This is Finland in winter. Rebecca looks up through the clear, curved roof of her igloo, closes her eyes for a moment and breathes out a deep sigh of relief. She is alone. She is still. All is peaceful and serene. The warmth from the flickering fire calms her nerves as the smell of cinnamon from the burning and crackling pinecones kisses the air around her.
What if I don’t?
Marriage at 23
I married at 21. Something that I haven’t ever really just sat down and contemplated is the question, "what is love"? Yet, I seem to get asked that a lot, at random. Love is unconditional. Love is caring, selfless, kind, patient. Love is a choice. It’s something that doesn’t always just come to you, as I had once believed. I thought that when you get married, somehow everything falls together and it just came to you on how to love. How very wrong I was. Marriage isn’t hard like so many around me seemed to believe. Love is hard. Choosing someone over and over again is difficult. It’s even more difficult if you don't’ love that person or have it in you to commit. This is why it’s so important to choose your partner wisely and know that you’re committing to them for the rest of your life. Not just when you feel like it, not until they get crazy and you want out, not when it’s just the good days. Those vows that are said are said for a reason and are supposed to mean something. How unfortunate that our generation has slowly taken marriage and made it into something that’s like a relationship. You can leave whenever you want or if it gets to be too much. No. That’s what dating is. You’re not dating this person, you’re married to them.
if you leave your wet towel beside the bed one more time, I swear to god, this time I am not picking it up. That thing could start to grow mushrooms on it, attract various insects, and emit an odour that can only be described as "swampy", and I still won't do it this time. You have to learn. You have to see the consequences of these actions. I will not ask again.
Chapter 3: Dewayne was getting ready to leave this morning to meet up with his teammates so they can leave for their game against the Falcons. I kissed him goodbye and told him to be safe and win his game. After he left I called Pastor Leon and asked him to come by so I could talk to him. An hour later he arrived without his wife. “Where is Melanie?” “She’s at her mother’s house, he told me.” But something in my spirit wasn’t feeling right with Pastor Leon. Don’t get me wrong he was a very sexy man and only to be 32 years old and have his own church. But I’m married and he’s married so I just told him to come back when he meets back up with his wife. He said his goodbyes and left. I grabbed my keys and jumped into my car and drove to my dad’s house. When we moved to New Orleans I had him moved down here too so we could be closer. I got there and he wasn’t at home, I dialed his phone and he told me that he was at the doctor office and that he will call me when he gets home. I left his house and went to get my nails and feet done. When I arrived at the nail salon I bumped into Melanie the Pastor’s wife. I could tell that she wasn’t happy to see me especially by the look she gave me. “Hello Ebony!” she said with an attitude in her voice. Of course I gave her an attitude back Hello Melanie! What’s your beef? She claimed that she didn't have any beef. “Cut the bullshit Melanie I can tell in the tone in your voice that you have a problem with me.” Then her eyes started tearing up. “I’m sorry Ebony. I have a feeling in my heart that Leon is cheating on me; and I know for sure that it’s with the women at our church who are either old or young and ugly. I feel that Leon has his eyes on another woman and I saw on his phone that you were the last person that he talked to on his phone. “Let me stop you right there, I don’t want your husband. I'm happily married.” “Then why is he calling your phone late at night?” “Bitch check with your husband, I said as I stormed off.” Soon as I walked in the salon my phone rings and of course it’s Pastor again. I ignored his call and then blocked his number. I was just trying to be part of the church community and live life like Christ would want me too. I wanted to call Dewayne and tell him that we need to switch churches. But then I thought about how I am going to explain the reason. I don’t want my husband thinking that I’m sleeping with the Pastor. My nails and feet were finally done and I felt like a new woman. I called Dewayne’s phone and a woman answered. “Who the fuck is this, I asked” Then the phone hangs up! Anger and hatred filled up in my system. I called his phone again and it went to voicemail. “You laid up with a bitch and can’t even answer me like a real man and tell me, Dewayne I will never forgive you for this.” I left the voicemail on his phone with tears in my eyes. I can’t believe this I gave Dewayne ten years of my life just for him to cheat on me. Divorce is not an option for me. I’m going hit him where it hurts, play a nigga at his own game. GET EVEN! Be on the lookout for part 4 it's getting more intense as the story goes on. Thanks for reading and continuing to read this series. Leave a nice tip if you love the series. Thank you!
January 15 -
Dear Diary - I had another argument with my husband. This time it was over me wanting to help my mom out. I am an only child and I want to create a burial fund for my mother to use when the time comes. My cousin, my mom, and me would pay into the fund. I told my husband I want to do this so I don't end up in the same situation as my cousin has with her father's passing. My husband hates for me to spend money, and trust me, he rarely lets me. It seems a bit lopsided as it seems he can take his friends to lunch, and buy various things without even telling me. Yet, I cannot buy a KitKat bar without asking him first, and God forbid I paid for a group of friends lunch. So, as not to do it behind his back I asked him if I could do this for my mom. He immediately said no. He said it is not my responsibility to take care of my mother. See, my husband is not close to his family so his view of this situation is a bit skewed. I explained to my husband as an only child I feel it does fall on me. My mother is not wealthy and my father wasn't wealthy when he passed. So, she doesn't have the means to do it herself. She is not well enough to still work, and is on disability too. He said it was all excuses, but if I wanted to be a door mat than go ahead and do it.
A person will experience such moments in his life journey, through the cycle of memory, at the end of the time corridor, looking for lost memories, lost people. In the past years, stepping on the melody of the memory, it keeps spinning and spinning away.
January 8th -
He's not talking to me again. Maybe he is bored. I also think he is battling depression again, too, and I am miserable as a result. He went on a cleaning spree without me home which is never good. I came home to mounds of clothes on the couch when I walked through the door. I knew what I was in for. The rest of the day will be crap. No hello or how was your day. He said I want those all folded and put away. I hate when he washes my clothes because he doesn't pay attention to how they should be washed or the mixing of colors. In fact, I have begged him not to wash my clothes, but when he gets like this he does not listen. I am grateful for the help. Don't get me wrong but walking in from a long day at work to a huge pile of clothes and him barking a command makes it feel like a punishment. The message was loud and clear. If I could learn to work all day and keep a perfect house, he would be happy. He does not say this. This is just how I feel. I am so sad and broken right now. I need some hope to hang on to.
Chapter 2: Ten years went by and here I am alone in this big mansion that Dewayne bought for us. Haven’t heard or seen Dewayne in three days. I think he’s cheating on me cause that’s not like him to not call or come by the house. Football season just started so I’m probably overreacting but as a woman when you notice a change in your husband something isn’t right. I dialed his phone and it went straight to voicemail. I called my mother in law and she said that he called her yesterday and told her that he will be coming for a visit soon. Before I could say anything to her I heard a knock at the door. Marian, one of our maids in the house bring Pastor Leon and his wife Melanie. Sister Ebony hate to stop by unexpectedly but Melanie and myself wanted to know if you were still interested in helping with the youth ministry. I tried to put on a smile knowing that inside I’m mad as hell. Yes I am very interested, I will stop by your house later on to show you my plans for the youth. Very well we will see you soon have a great morning sister Ebony and tell Dewayne we said hello. Dewayne and I have been to Pastor Leon’s church for four years now and I know that the only reason that people wanted to become members is because of Dewayne’s career and that they found out that he went there. But for sometime now every time I see Pastor Leon he always wink and smile extra hard when he sees me. I heard my phone ring and finally it’s Dewayne. “Where the fuck are you?” Why haven’t you called me? I asked in anger. “Baby calm down and come outside!” I hung up and walked to the door and saw him standing outside with a bouquet of roses. When I finally walked out the door I saw a banner with I miss you on it. My eyes started tearing up as my husband walked up to me and gave me the longest most romantic kiss in the world. “Baby I missed you. The only reason I haven’t called is because the coach has been working our asses off.” “How about you go put on this dress I bought you so I can take you out for the day and evening.” I snatched the bag from him and began to run to the door. I just realized I told the Pastor that I would meet with them tonight. Fuck it!!! I’m going out with my husband, especially that he will be leaving in two days. I can always get back up with them when I’m ready, it ain’t like somebody else wants to be over the youth ministry. I got out the shower and pulled this beautiful black and white dress with the matching heels to go with it. My husband knows me best especially when it comes to my clothes. Fixed my hair, makeup, put on my dress and shoes and my jewelry and met my husband down the stairs in his nice Versace suit. He kissed my hand and walked me to the limo that was waiting for us. I begged him to tell me where we were going but he told me that it’s a surprise. As we rode to our destination Dewayne told me everything that happened while he was gone. The parties that they went to and all the fun they had. We laughed and laughed. Every bit of laughter took my mind off of thinking that he would cheat on me. We pulled up to this really nice restaurant, which I had never been before. The host knew exactly who we were and showed us straight to our table while leaving everybody else waiting in line to get in. “I hope you and your lady of the night enjoy your meal.” “Excuse me this is my wife Ebony.” “My apologies sir and madame!” I rolled my eyes at him then turned my head to Dewayne. “What the fuck does he mean lady of the night?, Are you cheating on me Dewayne?” “Baby I wouldn’t do that to you, I love you with all my heart and soul, I loved you since day one that’s why you’re my wife.” “Let’s enjoy our evening baby and I will make things a lot better when we get home.” I calmed down and enjoyed the rest of the evening. When we got home we relaxed in our Jacuzzi and had some wine and talked about memories. Dewayne wrapped his arms around me and started kissing my neck knowing that’s one of my hot spots. He kissed me from head to toe and went back to my princess pie and went in for the kill. Each time he stroked his tongue on her my pussy went crazy and my juices were everywhere. We made love in the Jacuzzi the rest of the night. Lord I love this man so much. Love this read be share I appreciate the tips especially from part 1 of this story. Thank you be on the watch out for part three.
As I sat and listened to the pastor preach the word for this sunday, my mind was full with so many thoughts. It was Valentine’s day weekend and of course he was preaching about being good to your spouse. My husband Dewayne sitting next to me holding me tighter than ever. Everytime he said turn to your spouse and tell them you love them. Dewayne would tell me that he loves me while I just rolled my eyes at him. My marriage has fallen apart but yet here we are in church like we’re still happy. When Pastor Leon dismissed the church I hurried to the bathroom. I was sick to my stomach and threw up everywhere. Deaconess asked me if I was alright and did I need any help. I turned down her offer and told her that I’m alright. As I walked out the bathroom I bumped into Pastor Leon. “Sister Ebony, it’s good to see you, he said. “Can I talk to you in my study if you don’t mind?'' he asked me. I looked around to see if anyone had spotted me and him alone together, especially my husband. “You have five more minutes to talk than I have to leave” I told him. We made it to his study; soon as the door closed he started kissing and touching on me. I pushed him off and told him that we couldn’t do this in the church. “How about I call you later tonight so we can meet up?” I declined his offer and told him I had plans with Dewayne. I left his study to go find my husband. What is a woman supposed to do when she is in love with another man and a Pastor at that.