Enduring Love.

What is love? The four letter word is thrown around and taken in many different context. We love our friends, we love our children, we love our passions, etc.. Everyone has something or someone to love. We even express our love for foods, but what are we truly expressing? This word tossed around has many different meanings and perspectives.

According to ancient Greek philosophy there are 8 types of love:

Agape - Selfless/unconditional love

Eros - Physical/sexual attraction.

Storge - Famliy love

Mania - Obsessive love

Philia - Affectionate love

Philautia - Self love

Ludus - Playful "puppy" love

Pragma- Enduring love

Some of us have experienced and felt all of the above. Perhaps we have only felt a few. There will be 7 additional writings to discuss the different types. For now we will deep dive into the beautiful abyss of Pragma.

Let's get a better idea of this type of love by going over basic definitions. To endure means to suffer patiently.... To. Suffer. Patiently... and enduring means to continue or to be long lasting. The Greek definition of pragma is "deed", while pragmatikos is "relating to fact." Similarly to the word pragmatic, which means dealing with things in a realistic and sensible fashion. Those who have experienced pragma must know that when you truly love something it comes with tedious unpleasantries. This includes all hurdles and all obstacles. One thing for certain is those who have been married for a few decades or half a century to a person or their passion clearly have a great knowledge of this profound emotion. It is safe to say most people have not and will not live to experience the magnitude of pragma.

It is a beautiful emotion and phenomena. The type we see that the Earth's terrain has for the sun and the moon. A love that has faced the brutal and difficult times along with the wonderful and effervescent. When we think of the word love as a society, the definition will vary from person to person. All around the world people have different variations of what it means for them. For their life, people and things. Pragma is the realest and rawest love a person could ever feel. Pragma is incredibly intense and sincere. Some will experience this love in their field of study such as scientists, doctors, athletes, or anyone who sticks with their passion for the long haul. Now that we have an understanding, let's look at a real life perspective.

In the lives of Mr. and Mrs. Gomez (my grandparents), nearly 60 years ago they made a commitment to each other and that was to live their lives connectedly regardless of what life would bring. Little did they know that in their wedding vows, they agreed to pragma. Sure in the beginning they experienced eros, ludus, and philia even mania. Through tough times and doubt they went through painful moments and challenges most of us would give up on. Then, their love manifested to storge and agape. In the beginning they would swing dance together. They saw each other as the greatest humans for each other in the world. Carefree and excited in the beginning of their first stages. Mrs. Gomez found a man who made her feel respected, beautiful, and secure in her future. Mr. Gomez laid eyes on the most beautiful woman he could ever imagine and vowed to give her the best life he possibly could. They would get married within a matter of 9 months of meeting each other. In most movies this would end with, "and they lived happily ever after." Isn't that what most of us want?

That is not how life is though.

That "new love" faded, but their love for each other lives strong. Most of us know that beginning feeling commonly called the "honeymoon phase.” Mr. and Mrs. Gomez had their honeymoon phase and after every hurt, every ounce of pain, every life change, every fear... they still stand together and for each other. 60 years later, Mr. Gomez has progressive muscular atrophy. He barely has use of the movement in his hands. A once striking young man who could do every handy work, run every errand, work long hours, take his wife dancing, and fulfill basic human necessities. Now is limited and couldn't even hold his newborn grandchild even if he wanted too. Basic necessities as feeding himself has become an issue, but he has his wife, Mrs. Gomez. She can no longer dance or swing her hips, she can't even leave the house without assistance, but she gets up every day multiple times a day to make sure she feeds her husband. He has trouble with his arms, and she has trouble with her legs. 84 and 90 years old, they continue to help each other with "simple" basic needs that most of us take for granted such as washing our face and budgeting. Their youth is gone and bodies are fading. As they would say, "We have one foot here and one foot in the grave." Yet their ineffable adornment for each other that they have shared together remains indestructible and will last forever.