I have a confession to make. I used to be one of 'them'. One of those people who think that, for an individual to be 'valid' and to feel complete, they need a partner. But now - at 38 and with several relationships behind me - my outlook has changed significantly. And why? Partly because of my own personal experiences but also because of the opportunities and freedom I have found that my being single offers... With three years of Singleton life now under my belt, I have no desire to find a 'significant other' or in fact even date.
I have received a lot of advice as a single woman in the last decade plus from many well meaning friends and family on how to transit into the 'taken' life, that included 'putting myself out there some more', 'online dating'...etc and I must confess that none of that advice really worked out.
Self-dating is set to be the hot new trend iin self-love, self-development, and empowerment. Learning to treat yourself with the same love and care as your partner is just one of the many reasons why singles should consider self-dating.
Okay, I'm witnessing something and it's getting harder and harder for me to date. Maybe it's in my head, maybe this is really happening, I don't know at this point so bear with me, please. Now, I know what you're thinking in case you clicked on this and you started reading. You probably think I'm just another angry straight guy who has a vendetta against people that's part of the LGBT community but I'm not. I'm not angry at all.
It's 9 pm, I'm sitting in a hot tub overlooking fantastic highland vistas after a meal of seabass and sparkling wine and some chocolate covered strawberries. Tomorrow I'm going kayaking. Sounds like a the perfect romantic getaway right?
I brushed my hand down my little black dress as I lifted myself up to the high bar stool. Why are these thing always so high, resting my elbows on the electric blue bar, I watch the couple on the other side of the club, Its like watching animals at the zoo, The male hunting his pray as she plays with her hair and drinks her fruity drink. "What can i get you?" the bartender brings my attention back to the real world, "Jack and coke, please" i reach into my small clutch purse on my lap and a strange man drops his hand on top of my own "I got this one" He pulls a 20 out his wallet and drops it onto the bar. "thank you but you didn't..."
If you’ve gotten into the New Year single, don’t despair. Whether you’re looking for love or trying to stay away from it, 2020 can be your year. You can find here a list of resolutions that may be useful for you if you don’t know how to spend the year on your own.
Before I met my recent ex I had been single for nearly two years. And as much as I wanted to be in a relationship I refused to meet anyone. I didn’t kiss anyone, didn’t sleep with anyone, I didn’t go on dates. I stayed away from it all.
8/23/2019 and 8/24/2019 and 8/25/2019
I really, truly, honestly, do not know how to get out of this place. There is something missing. And I've always felt it. I know staying busy correlates to activity in the brain which will keep me in high spirits, start the ball rolling, and allow me to get to the place where I'm living out my soul's purpose. The only problem -I don't know what that is. The words "I don't know" have kept me in limbo for 2 years now.
Time is precious, it's valuable.
I'll preface this by saying, all situations are their own. Everyone has unique experiences. So of course, you may have found the love of your life and think this title is silly. But, from a biased perspective of a single lady haha (all perspectives have bias), I believe the collective will be happier if we focus our energy on lifting up singleness to a higher pedestal than finding a partner. Stop trying to set your friends up, instead, be impressed by them doing shit and finding themselves on their own.