Being 21 years of age and realizing that the only "romantic" relationship you've ever had was in the 7th grade with a boy who ended up transferring schools half way through the year and never responded to any text after forces you to sit in front of a massive mirror for an intense session of self reflection.
There are times that we feel like we're being left behind, friends are either getting married, getting engaged, or having kids. That feeling that we're running out of time as we see everyone else moving on with their lives—but, here you are, feeling stuck in a job, and contemplating if you should eat that pizza at three in the morning. You say you're okay, but some nights are just crippling with sadness with the same old routine, and having no one to feel excited about life with.
I always thought that I’m fine with being alone, that I am happy. I always thought that I can survive all alone, but as I sit here thinking to myself, maybe I am not okay. Maybe I just somehow adapted and made peace with the idea that I’m not good enough for someone to love.
Over half of 25-44 year olds are now single, thus making it the norm. However, single-shame is highly prevalent, with many worrying that they are the 'last ones left on the shelf' or 'all the good ones are gone." The Unexpected Joy of Being Single is a refreshing book that explores this single stigma. While doing so, Catherine Gray redefines a person who is single as someone who is complete on their own, and not lacking in any way. Her book helps to make a long overdue cultural shift in the way single people are perceived (and most importantly: how they perceive themselves). She is here to help us locate and luxuriate in some single joy.
I think when I look back at my life, I have always been single. During my teen years, I befriended guys so I could figure them out so that I wouldn't be "played." I was obsessed with outsmarting boys; a relationship wouldn't have worked. Considering the traumatic events that occurred in my childhood, I could never let another person in. I chose solitude because it was safer. I didn't have to explain my scars to anyone else. Hell, I didn't even acknowledge those very scars to myself.
Stay single until you learn to be complete on your own. Until you realize and accept the fact that no amount of time having a significant other will "fill" you. Be complete enough, as one individual, to light a whole night sky. And then love someone who, when the two of you are combined, make up the Northern Lights.
For the first time in a long, long while I have a crush, a legitimate, racing pulse, walking-on-air crush.
There’s a problem that some of us have to go through in our lifetime, and that’s the fact of having to live with this simply complex contradiction: simultaneously loving freedom, and loving love.
Not only am I a love avoidant called Paula, but I'm also am a badass female to boot.
As I wrote in my best selling book, Hello Love, Where's Cupid? 2nd Ed and I wrote in the previous post, there are many reasons why you could still be single. Most likely you are sabotaging your chances at finding someone, based on your own behavior. Sometimes it's as easy as to NOT do the following when out on a date and when out looking for love. Here are 5 more reasons as to why you are still single:
Eight years of being single.