“I hate being single!” or “Why am I so unlucky in love?” Do these sound familiar? If so, then welcome to Singlehood. I will admit, some people are really unlucky when it comes to love. I have seen it firsthand, but there are those who are still single due to those who are left in the “pool” while others are single due to being their own worst enemy. Then, of course, you have those people who call you “desperate.” Let's get one stereotype cleared up, though: I am not desperate because I am single. I am single because I am not desperate. There's a difference. If you are running from relationship to relationship, then okay, you are desperate, but if you struggling to find someone and you have your standards, you are NOT desperate, you are smart.
I am what some people might call a serial dater.
Everyone seems to be getting people down when they say they have no social life, or they’re single, and I wanted to make this article, especially for my fellow females about why being single and having no friends in real life is the best thing ever. It’s not something to be ashamed of, and it’s definitely not something to poke fun at others for. There are many pros to having absolutely no friends whatsoever, and no other half. This article will be split into two parts: five reasons why having no friends is great, and five reasons why being single is great. So don’t always beat people up for it, they’re doing it for much different reasons you are.
You know that moment when you lose your complete grip on reality and panic that you and only you, in the whole entire universe, will be the only person left who hasn't found their soulmate? That everyone else will somehow magically ensconce themselves in ultimate wedded bliss, walking around staring longingly into their partner's eyes and busying themselves with living happily after... like totes forevski ... and even people that are really mean, so mean that even their mother doesn't really love them anymore (although she'll swear down that she does, each and every single time), will incredibly find someone that loves them, as much as they love in return.
I know–this topic is cliché, and honestly, I don't blame you if you feel like gouging your eyes out. Seriously, don't though—I swear I've got some good sh*t to say.
Love! Who needs it? Actually, I do, but I won't get that anymore. You see, my love life is as dead as a 1,000,000-year old dinosaur. Yup, I have no love life.
So I find myself single again after three and a half years of putting up unnecessary bullshit from a man who didn’t know how to love me. During that time I made a million and one changes, as we as women normally do, to appeal to his sense of what I was supposed to be and look like to no avail. In the process, of course, I lost who I essentially am.
I AM IN LOVE WITH BEING SINGLE. IT’S TRUE.
Lately I’ve been on this emotional roller coaster about dating and relationships. One month I’m like, "Okay, I’m going to date, and just meet men and enjoy outings with them, and indulge in good, intellectual conversation." The next month, "Nope. This is not going to work for me. It just may not be my season. I really need to focus on my business and myself, and continue to just enjoy being single. The man for me will come.” Back and forth, up and down, I’m constantly giving myself a headache. I go on dating sites and then become bored, or a man has contacted through the dating site messages, yet when given my number, my phone is drier than Popeyes biscuits.
I looked out the window, deep in thoughts as to why I would have the same dream over and over. Well, not literally the same, but it’s always about the same thing: Me getting married. It’s like my subconscious is playing a game with me. I don’t like marriages. Don’t get me wrong, it is nice when two people who love each other take that courage and decide to stay together forever. I like seeing people in love and it makes me happy. Happy for them because their happily ever after is about to start, and though it might be rough, they want to face it together. But for me, I don’t think it is there or if I will ever find it. In short, I want to see everyone I love happily married, but still stay a coward and not give it a chance. Yes, I admit that I am a coward.
This is for women. Women that are struggling to see what they need or what they want, but most importantly, what they deserve. “We don’t need no man”. That’s right, we don’t. We don’t need a relationship. But some of us still want someone there, someone by our side. We need someone that we can depend on, but not someone we depend on, not someone that depends on us. A relationship should be a factor in our lives that amplifies our happiness, not one that completes it. Please try to remember that when your parter keeps causing you pain. When they blame it all on you- don’t believe it. Don’t let anybody manipulate you into thinking less of yourself. It’s never wrong to work on yourself and a healthy relationship usually aids you in doing so naturally. It’s not easy to let people go that you love, so please don’t ignore the red flags. Don’t ignore the intuitive feeling that lets you know something’s not right. Because you don’t need anybody but yourself. You don’t need them to complete you- it might hurt, but you will be better off in the end. And it will end, sooner or later, and we can all agree that sooner is better than later.