Where There Is Love, There Is Heartbreak. It's Natural. Do you think you can love someone forever? No, you don't. Maybe there can be one or two exceptions. But life is not a fucking fairy tale. There is no 'happily ever after.' And the concept of romantic love changes over time.

The following story is a personal journey of pulling back the curtains on my life that happened as a result of stay at home orders, extra time and the explosion of civil unrest. I’m sharing this as a voice to others that I know have experienced similar if not the exact same things in the last few months. Know you are not alone.

The track seems rough tonight as Mike takes his run. He couldn’t get in his rhythm but he was determined to get back on track.

Josh walked to his door, pulling a shirt on over his pajama pants. He had a sick feeling that he knew who this was and he wasn’t looking forward to opening the door at this time of night and having to face this again. It wasn’t the first time, and he wished beyond anything that it would be the last. All it ever did was reopen the wounds that he was trying so desperately to heal. He opened the door and there she stood, and his heart stopped. He still loved her, with every ounce of who he was, he loved this girl.

Everybody knows about heartbreak. Whether it's a breakup or losing a loved one, or whether its the letter of rejection you received after longing for this job, this school, or this home for so long. I find that one of the most underrated "heartbreak situation" is when you lose a friend.

She was walking in front of me leading me to the balcony connected to Johnny's room. When we closed the door from the outside and our lungs filled up with cold air she lit up her cigarette between two slightly moist lips and took a deep drag. When she released the smoke from her lungs she showed me with exaggeration in her eyes how much she had been longing to go out for a smoke. Once she was done rolling her eyes she convincingly tried to show me how cool she could be. Demanding my attention I saw through every trick she tried.

In the eyes of the girl, now a woman I wonder if they notice my misery. The sadness I feel, the misery in my heart. Doesn't anyone ever notice? The sadness is so intense, I don't wanna even feel it anymore.

How many times has your man left you and came back? Unfortunately, I can tell you how many mine has and his reasons why but it wasn't all his fault. We have three kids together and yes ALL of them are his. I somehow managed to give birth to two girls and one boy. The woman's body is mysterious and kind of scary if you ask me. Anyways, back to the subject at hand.

Yeah - ok ok, Please, sit quietly. I’m about to tell you the truth so please don’t interrupt me thank you. Lately all I feel is pain, feels like my heart doesn’t beat the same. I wanna give up and I just, feel stuck in a life that I know I cannot change. Everyday all I do is sit and be depressed, trying to get up and get help but I’m still a big mess. When I look back my past is showing me bad memories and it’s hurts so much to even think of them. I met this girl yeah we both fell in love, we had so much fun making memories daily , going to a movies, going on the hikes, holding hands while looking at each other eyes and talking about love. This girl opened my eyes she gave me everything she possibly could. She started dating me when I was alone when I was broke and homeless, I never thought this girl would ever be mine ? I never thought she would except me for who I am or what I even look like? I was so afraid that she would reject me and disappear outta my life. But that’s wasn’t the case, let me tell you what exactly happened ...

I remember people saying I was only the sum of my experiences, but I also remember people not acknowledging anything significant about them.

I'm left here speechless yet with so many thoughts racing in my mind. I can't seem to remember what exactly happened the night him and I broke up because everything that followed was much more devastating. There were more times than I could count that I would drive to him and we'd repeat the same mistake every time: we'd ignore the fact we shouldn't be together. We created a fire within us; that instead of kindling, we fought each other with by holding grudges and taking revenge on one another. Towards the end of our relationship, I blamed myself for so much of what was never my fault per say, instead was just an outcome of accumulated factors between us. Which posed me to unleash the emotions - on myself and others, that I once buried inside to try to hide the hurt away - from a broken heart. Months, no, years, I hated myself for him leaving me and I destroyed every relationship around that ever mattered because I felt as they would all leave just like he did. Insolating myself and drawing deeper into my self-inflicted despair, my actions became more than I could bare. The weight of the world crumbled on me, crushing my soul each time I would recklessly drive to his house begging for his forgiveness. Pushing aside any self respect or worth, at any time of the night, I wouldn't care - I needed him then. I needed him so much that I lost myself in him. I was no longer me, I was only his ex. That's all I could see in my rose colored glasses struct with tunnel vision. I was no longer a human being; more so a: human suffocating, a human drowning, a human losing, a human suffering, a human waiting, a human hoping, a human yearning, a human dying. Never was I 'being' my own person - not after he left until recent. What I was being was unstable, unreliable, unsafe, uncaring, vulnerable, insecure, radical, irrational, all to say the least. Only because I couldn't accept that him and I didn't belong together, we were not good for each other in any sense. Back then, I loved everything about him, even the bruises he left and scars he formed, I still loved them because they were from him. Call me insane, I'll agree...because for him, I was. I didn't care if the 35+ minute drive to what was once our home, was wasted because he wasn't there, it was still worth a chance. Sometimes I question if I made any sort of impact on him, or am I just some other girl he checked off his list? He knows how I got too close to our fire trying to fight the flames, and now have a scar burned into my heart, for the rest of my life. The love I had for him, that is now buried somewhere in Pandora's Box, is what reminds me to never, ever, love that hard, ever, again. I stayed single for years and I still have yet to heal from the torture I endured by him. Some call it 'trauma-bonding' mixed with 'battered wife syndrome', while I just call it 'self-sacrifice'. I say that because I gave up everything I possibly could to try to make things work with him and in the end, nothing did. What I did do was ruin my safety, security, sanity, stability and salvation. Honestly, I drove past his house not too long ago and I begged God to release me from everything that's happened between him and I, not only for my sake, but for his as well. I forgive him, yet most of all, I forgive myself for allowing myself to love like nothing else mattered.

Being in love is a great and beautiful feeling but when you fall out of love with that person you was so in love with is no more. You tell them you love them still but no longer in love with them they can’t except it. They force their feelings unto you even though you don’t feel the same way. But since you shared many years together they say that should matter, I don’t think it should because if you no longer happy why stick around. Why do they want to stick around if they are not getting the love they used to. They fear of knowing that the person could do and be better without them. They want to stay there for their on selfish reasons.