lgbtq
The letters LGBTQ are just another way of saying that Love is Love.
The Soul Beyond Gender
I know this piece may raise a few eyebrows, and I fully expect that some people will disagree with me. That’s okay. I’m not pitching this as a scientific fact or claiming I’ve cracked a code that people have debated for ages. I’m simply sharing a theory. One that grew out of my own observations and spiritual beliefs.
By Debbie's Reflection14 days ago in Humans
Heteroflexible and Bisexual
Is there a difference between someone who is bisexual and someone who is heteroflexible? Short answer, yes, there is a difference. It is easy to get the two confused, and honestly, easy to understand why they are easily seen as the same thing by many people.
By Timothy A Rowlandabout a month ago in Humans
The True Cost of Waiting for an Unsure Partner
When someone we care for hesitates to fully commit, it is easy to view waiting as being patient with them, or a sign of true love. We tell ourselves that if we just give it a little more time, understanding, or space, their hesitation will eventually resolve into certainty - and in our favour. But there is always a high price to pay for putting your life on hold, and being in emotional limbo, while you wait hopefully for someone to make up their mind whether they really want you in their life, or not.
By Elaine Sihera about a month ago in Humans
What a Divorce Lawyer Learned About Marriage And Divorce
We Asked Divorce Lawyer 19 Tough Questions | Honesty Box - Video By: LADbible Stories In the LADbible Stories video We Asked Divorce Lawyer 19 Tough Questions , New York divorce attorney James Sexton draws on approximately twenty-five years of experience representing people during the breakdown of their marriages. His answers cover the practical realities of divorce—legal expenses, alimony, prenuptial agreements, custody disputes, infidelity, and who files most often—while also exploring broader questions about love, commitment, compatibility, and why relationships gradually deteriorate.
By Peter Thwing - Host of the FST Podcastabout a month ago in Humans
How to Reignite Desire in a Long-Term Relationship
I'm going to start this off by pointing out something that should be obvious, but often escapes a person's mind. That obvious thing is that no couple is exactly like another and there is no one solution fits all way to keep the passion or the romance alive in a long-term relationship.
By Timothy A Rowland2 months ago in Humans
Thirty-Eight, Soon to Be Thirty-Nine
Greetings, Vocal readers and subscribers! In nearly three months, I'll be turning 39. Yes, you're seeing this right. I may not look or feel like my age, but I still feel like my youthful self every year. Whenever I go out, most people mistake me as either a high school or college student. Most often, I look like the latter. I don't mind those comparisons, because I could easily pass off as either one. There's less than six months to go until 2026 comes to a close and this year has been going well for me so far. I aim to end 2026 with a bang. The following is a list of things that I'd love to do before I turn 40 in late 2027.
By Mark Wesley Pritchard 2 months ago in Humans
Is Marriage Still Worth It, or Are We Better Off Staying Single and Living Together?
If you are tired of hearing people declare that marriage will either save your life or ruin it, you are probably in the same place as many people today. The debate has become predictable. One side presents marriage as the foundation of a successful adult life. The other side treats it as an outdated tradition that people follow out of habit. Both views leave out the complicated reality.
By Nolan Reed2 months ago in Humans
Feelings Are Real, But Not Always Valid (Rethinking Cheating, Boundaries, and Emotional Control)
This article was written in response to the video published by YouTube Creator "Tejas Huller" available to view by clicking here . --- I think this video is both entertaining and useful. It shows how vague the language around cheating, consent, boundaries, and betrayal can become in a creative, engaging, and unique way. The therapist defines cheating as breaking a relational agreement without the other person’s consent. That sounds clean, but the video itself proves how messy that gets once we leave obvious sexual betrayal and start talking about gray areas. The biggest issue is that many relationship agreements are unspoken. If a boundary was clearly spoken, mutually understood, and applied equally, then violating it can be a real betrayal. But if the “agreement” was mostly assumed inside one person’s head, then it is harder to say the other person cheated. There is a big difference between breaking a covenant and failing to obey an expectation that was never clearly communicated. Feelings matter, but feelings are not automatically moral verdicts. Someone can feel betrayed because their partner crossed a serious line. Someone can also feel betrayed because of insecurity, fear, trauma, jealousy, or assumptions. Those deserve care and conversation, but they should not automatically become proof that the other person is guilty. That is why “feelings are always valid” needs context. The feeling may be valid as an internal experience. “I felt hurt.” “I felt embarrassed.” “I felt unsafe.” “I felt replaced.” Those are real experiences. But the conclusion attached to the feeling may still need to be tested. Feeling betrayed does not always mean betrayal occurred. Feeling disrespected does not always mean disrespect was intended. Feeling unsafe does not always mean the other person was dangerous. The Hinge example shows this clearly. They have been seeing each other for eight weeks, talking every day, FaceTiming every night, and sleeping together, but they never had the formal exclusivity conversation. One person says that would be a 10 because she would be done. That is fair as a personal standard. She can decide, “This is not what I want.” But calling it cheating is harder if exclusivity was never actually established. It may reveal mismatched values, poor communication, or different assumptions, but assumption is not the same as agreement. The coffee shop flirting example makes the same point. One person sees flirting for a discount as mostly harmless until the partner introduces them as “just a friend.” Another sees the whole thing as scummy and close to cheating. Another says if both partners are in on the joke, then it is fine because there is no dishonesty between them. That proves context matters. The same behavior changes meaning depending on secrecy, humiliation, repetition, intention, and whether the couple is united or divided by it. The actor scenario also needs clarity. If someone is dating an actor, on-screen kissing may come with the profession. But staying late for extra practice with an attractive co-star, then telling your partner afterward, is a different issue. The problem is not only the kiss. It is the lack of communication, the after-hours intimacy, the private practice, and the fact that the partner learns about it after the fact. The real question is whether the action honored the relationship and stayed inside the spirit of trust. The workplace happy hour scenario shows another layer. A partner may say, “I am just concerned people will talk,” when what they really mean is, “I feel insecure about this.” I agree vulnerability is usually healthier. But there is also danger in making one partner responsible for managing every emotional fluctuation of the other. A loving partner should care about your feelings, but caring does not mean surrendering all independence to your discomfort. This is where consent language can become too powerful. It is one thing to say, “I choose to respect you, and I want to understand what hurts you.” That is love. It is another thing to say, “You cannot do that because I feel uncomfortable.” That can become control. One invites mutual honor. The other turns one person’s feelings into authority over the other person’s actions. Can one partner really require consent for every like, every text, every meal, every coworker interaction, every joke, every casual flirtation, every ex, every social media habit, every professional situation, and every private feeling? At some point, that stops being trust and becomes surveillance. It also creates the obvious question: can the other person refuse to consent to that level of control? The better framework is spoken, mutual, reciprocal agreement. What counts as flirting? What counts as emotional intimacy? What should be disclosed? What is okay with coworkers? What is okay with exes? What is okay online? What is embarrassing, dishonoring, or dangerous? What is a real boundary, and what is an insecurity that needs healing rather than obedience? The hotel bar kiss is different because it moves from gray area into clear betrayal. A work trip, alcohol, emotional chemistry, physical closeness, and a kiss is cheating to most people for good reason. The confession and remorse matter, but they do not erase the act. And “it was the alcohol” is too weak. The more honest answer is probably, “I liked feeling desired,” or “I let myself enjoy the attention,” or “I failed to leave when I knew where it was going.” So my takeaway is this: feelings matter, but feelings cannot be the whole standard. Consent matters, but consent cannot carry the whole weight of relationship morality. A healthy relationship needs trust, honesty, duty, self-control, clarity, reciprocity, and spoken agreements. Without those, boundaries can become control, feelings can become accusations, and consent can become leverage instead of love. And even if something is not cheating, it can still be a valid reason to break up. Someone can say, “This violates my preferences, my emotional security, or the kind of relationship I want.” That is fair. People can leave over incompatibility. But that is different from saying, “You cheated,” or “You are a cheater,” when no clear agreement was ever made. That distinction matters because “cheater” carries serious moral weight. It marks someone as dishonest, unsafe, disloyal, and untrustworthy. That label should not be thrown around simply because two people had different assumptions about appropriate conduct. Imagine if “abuse” had the same loose definition. If people used that word for every painful disagreement, every hurt feeling, every conflict, every incompatibility, and every moment of emotional discomfort, the word would either lose its power or unjustly destroy people’s lives. Cheating works similarly. The accusation has force because it implies betrayal of a real agreement. If it gets used for every gray-area discomfort or unspoken expectation, it becomes unstable. It either loses meaning, or it becomes a weapon. So the strongest standard is this: if a couple clearly agreed that certain conduct is off-limits, then violating that agreement is betrayal. But if the agreement was never spoken, mutually understood, or equally applied, then the issue may be incompatibility, poor communication, immaturity, carelessness, or emotional mismatch. It may still be breakup-worthy. But that does not automatically make it cheating. A healthy relationship needs more than one person saying, “That hurt me, therefore you betrayed me.” It needs both people saying, “Here is what loyalty means to us. Here is what we agree not to do. Here is what we both consider disrespectful. Here is what we will communicate before it becomes a problem.” Trust is built through mutual clarity, not emotional veto power. I also want to push back a bit on the phrase “all feelings are valid.” I think a better phrase is this: "All feelings are real. All feelings are sourced. All feelings have roots. But that does not mean all feelings are accurate, fair, proportional, morally authoritative, or entitled to control someone else’s behavior." Feelings are sensors. They pick up on things we might otherwise miss. A feeling can alert us to danger, disrespect, distance, attraction, insecurity, embarrassment, fear, jealousy, sadness, or betrayal. But sensors can also be distorted. Feelings are filtered through limited information, timing, stress, trauma, insecurity, past relationships, worldview, personality, attachment style, and whatever story the person is already telling themselves in that moment. So yes, feelings should be taken seriously. But taking them seriously does not mean treating them as automatically correct. A person can feel betrayed without betrayal actually occurring. A person can feel unsafe without the other person being dangerous. A person can feel disrespected without disrespect being intended. A person can feel abandoned because of an old wound, even if the current partner did nothing wrong. That is why I think “valid” is often the wrong word. If valid means “real and worth discussing,” fine. But if valid means “morally correct and entitled to authority,” then no. All feelings are real. Not all feelings are valid in that stronger sense. And no one else is automatically responsible for another person’s feelings. In a loving relationship, we should care about each other’s emotional state. We should listen. We should be gentle. We should try to understand. But caring is different from surrendering authority. One person’s discomfort should not automatically govern the other person’s free will. This matters because accusations carry consequences. Calling someone a cheater is not merely a subjective emotional expression. It is a serious moral characterization. It comes with stigma, reputation damage, loss of trust, loss of opportunity, relational consequences, and its own emotional burden. If the only reason someone is labeled a cheater is because they did something that hurt another person’s feelings, especially by violating an unspoken agreement, then the word becomes dangerously unstable. Because then the logic can reverse. If your hurt feelings give you authority to call me a cheater, what happens when I feel hurt by that accusation? If I feel wounded because I believe your accusation is unjust, unfounded, exaggerated, or based on a rule we never agreed to, do my feelings now control your speech? Do my feelings now mean you are not allowed to say that? What if I feel hurt by you saying I cannot do something because it hurts you? Obviously, a relationship built on that kind of emotional tug-of-war would collapse quickly. But that is the point. When we stress-test the idea at the extremes, we can see the problem: we cannot all be automatically right when our feelings directly compete. One person’s feeling may say, “You betrayed me.” The other person’s feeling may say, “You are unfairly accusing me.” Both feelings may be real, but both conclusions cannot automatically be morally authoritative at the same time. That is why feelings should be addressed, but they should not automatically impose restrictions on another person’s behavior. Each person has to take responsibility for their own emotions, their own emotional regulation, their own communication, and their own needs, wants, desires, preferences, wounds, and expectations. Someone saying, “I need you to stop doing this so I do not feel this negative emotion,” is not automatically expressing a true need. It may reveal a real struggle. It may reveal that they need reassurance, clarity, healing, support, or a conversation about expectations. But it may also reveal that they are trying to make another person responsible for managing an emotion that ultimately belongs to them. That is not always a boundary. A boundary says, “If this happens, this is how I will choose to respond.” A demand says, “You are not allowed to do this because I feel bad.” Those are different. A boundary governs my participation. A demand governs your behavior. Saying, “I will not stay in a relationship where my partner does this,” is a boundary. Saying, “You are not allowed to do this because my feelings cannot handle it,” is an attempt to control another person’s choice. Now, the request itself might be reasonable. It might be fair to ask your partner to avoid certain behavior. It might be wise for a couple to agree that some conduct is disrespectful or dangerous. But the reasonableness of the request still needs to be tested. It should not become law simply because one person feels hurt. This is especially important in dating. When two people are married or deeply covenant-bound, there is a much higher level of shared burden. In marriage, two people are meant to bear each other’s burdens, protect each other, feel the weight of each other’s struggles, and treat the other as an extension of their own body. That level of mutual ownership makes sense inside a covenant that has public vows, duties, protections, and permanence. But dating is different. Dating should involve care, honesty, and respect, but it should not prematurely create the kind of emotional ownership that belongs inside marriage. Without the boundaries and protections of covenant, it can become unhealthy for one person’s emotional state to hold sweeping authority over the other person’s behavior. So the better standard is this: all feelings are real, and all feelings deserve honest communication. But feelings are not automatically accurate, not automatically fair, and not automatically entitled to rule. A healthy relationship does not say, “My feelings control your choices.” It says, “My feelings reveal something we should talk about, and then we decide together what is wise, fair, mutual, and true.” That is also why cheating should not be defined only by hurt feelings. Cheating should involve the betrayal of a real relational agreement, preferably one that is spoken, mutually understood, and mutually applied. Something can hurt. Something can be breakup-worthy. Something can reveal incompatibility. But unless it violated a real agreement, calling it cheating may be more accusation than truth.
By Peter Thwing - Host of the FST Podcast3 months ago in Humans
The Importance of Sex
The Importance of Sex in Human Life Sex is one of the most fundamental aspects of human existence. Beyond reproduction, it shapes our biology, psychology, relationships, and even the way societies function. While culture and personal values influence how people view sex, its role in health and human connection is supported by decades of research across medicine, anthropology, and psychology. Understanding why sex matters helps remove stigma and allows people to make informed choices about their bodies and relationships. Physical Health and Biology From a biological standpoint, sex serves an obvious purpose: reproduction. The continuation of the species depends on it. But the physical importance of sex does not end there. Regular sexual activity has been linked to several measurable health benefits. Studies suggest that it can support cardiovascular health by increasing heart rate and improving circulation in ways similar to moderate exercise. During arousal and orgasm, the body releases a mix of hormones including oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins. Oxytocin, often called the bonding hormone, helps reduce stress and promotes feelings of trust and connection. Endorphins act as natural pain relievers and mood elevators. Dopamine reinforces pleasure and motivation. Research from the National Institutes of Health has also connected sexual activity with stronger immune function. One study found that people who had sex once or twice per week had higher levels of immunoglobulin A, an antibody that helps defend against common illnesses. For men, regular ejaculation has been associated with a lower risk of prostate issues later in life. For women, sexual activity increases blood flow to the pelvic region, which supports vaginal health and can reduce discomfort associated with menopause. None of these benefits mean sex is a replacement for exercise, sleep, or medical care, but they show that it is part of a healthy physiology for many adults. Mental and Emotional Wellbeing The psychological role of sex is just as significant as the physical. Sex can be a powerful stress reliever. The hormonal changes that occur during intimacy lower cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone. This is why many people report feeling calmer and sleeping better after sex. Over time, this stress reduction can contribute to lower anxiety and a more stable mood. Sex also affects self-esteem and body image. Positive sexual experiences where partners feel desired and respected can reinforce a person’s sense of worth. Conversely, negative experiences, pressure, or lack of communication can harm self-image. This is why consent, communication, and emotional safety are not separate from the physical act. They are what determine whether sex supports or damages mental health. For people in long-term relationships, sexual intimacy often serves as a barometer for overall connection. It is not the only measure of a healthy partnership, but many couples report that a satisfying sex life helps them feel closer, resolve conflict more easily, and maintain affection outside the bedroom. The release of oxytocin during sex promotes bonding, which helps explain why couples who maintain physical intimacy often describe higher relationship satisfaction. Social and Relational Importance Humans are social creatures, and sex has always been tied to pair bonding. Anthropologists note that unlike most mammals, humans form long-term partnerships and raise children over many years. Sexual intimacy helps create and maintain those bonds. It builds trust, encourages vulnerability, and creates shared private experiences that distinguish romantic partners from friends. Sex also plays a role in communication. Not all important feelings are easy to express with words. Physical intimacy can communicate desire, care, forgiveness, and reassurance in ways that conversation sometimes cannot. Couples who talk openly about sex tend to report better communication in other areas of their relationship as well. Learning to discuss boundaries, preferences, and discomfort builds skills that transfer to finances, parenting, and conflict resolution. On a broader scale, cultural attitudes toward sex influence public health. Societies that provide accurate sex education see lower rates of unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. When sex is treated as a normal part of adult life rather than a taboo, people are more likely to seek testing, use protection, and talk to doctors about problems like pain or dysfunction. This openness reduces shame and improves outcomes for everyone. Personal Development and Identity Sex is also tied to identity. For many adults, understanding their own desires, boundaries, and orientation is part of understanding themselves. The process of learning what feels good, what does not, and how to communicate that to a partner builds self-awareness. It requires honesty, which is a skill that benefits every area of life. For some, periods without sex are also important. Choosing abstinence for personal, religious, or health reasons is equally valid. The key factor is autonomy. Whether someone has sex often, rarely, or not at all, the ability to make that choice without coercion or shame is what supports wellbeing. Problems arise when people feel forced into sex they do not want, or shamed for wanting sex that is safe and consensual. Challenges and Misconceptions Despite its importance, sex is often misunderstood. One common misconception is that frequency equals quality. Research shows that satisfaction depends more on the quality of connection than on how often sex occurs. Another misconception is that desire should be spontaneous and constant. In reality, desire fluctuates with age, stress, health, and relationship dynamics. Many long-term couples find that planned intimacy works better than waiting for spontaneous urges. Medical issues can also affect sex. Conditions like diabetes, depression, and cardiovascular disease can lower libido or cause dysfunction. Medications, childbirth, and aging change how the body responds. These challenges are common and treatable, but stigma keeps many people from talking to doctors. Recognizing that sex is a health issue, not just a lifestyle issue, helps people seek care without embarrassment. Conclusion Sex matters because humans are physical, emotional, and social beings. It contributes to physical health through hormone regulation, cardiovascular activity, and immune support. It supports mental health by reducing stress and building self-esteem when practiced with consent and respect. It strengthens relationships by fostering bonding, trust, and communication. And it helps individuals understand themselves through the process of setting boundaries and expressing desire. None of this means sex is mandatory for a good life. People are different, and a fulfilling life can take many forms. But for most adults, safe and consensual sex is a meaningful part of health and connection. Treating it as a normal, discussable topic allows individuals and societies to gain the benefits while minimizing harm. Open education, honest communication, and respect for personal choice are what allow sex to play a positive role in human life.
By Michael Skylas 3 months ago in Humans
