Do Titles Matter?

I have been talking to a guy for about seven months now. I like him & Ik he likes me. But he has never asked me to be his gf. I love how it feels when we together and everything but i feel like there should be a title or something. We spend so much time together so I dont spend any time getting to know anyone else. it feels like we are exclusive but like should it feel like that if there is no title? Should I continue going with the flow? I dont know if i am over reacting or not

Jo

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Dear Jo,

My first question would be, have the two of you ever spoke about your intentions with one another. If not, then that is the problem itself. If you find yourself simply going with the flow then he may be doing the same. I personally feel like if you have not already brought this up, you should. If you find yourself afraid of his reaction, dont be. If he truly cares about you, he will understand. Seven months is more than enough time spent together to discuss intention and direction that the relationship is heading in.

However, I want to talk about a question that I think your questions leads to. Do titles matter?

This is a heavy ended question but there is not just one answer to this question. In a long term sense, I think that titles do ultimately matter but in general, I think what matters more is how a person treats you. it matters how a person makes you feel. It matters how well the two of you connect with eachother. It matters how they do and don't fit into the life that you want.

I have seen multiple relationships where people have TITLES but do not get along, expose eachother on social media, cheat on eachother and so on. A title does not gauruntee a good relationship, the person that you are with does. The goal is to find someone that you truly care for and that truly cares for you.

So, how long do I think is too long to "date" without a title?

For a lot of people, I think they crave a title because it implies a sense of ownership. This is MY person. However, you do not own ANYONE rather you are in a relationship or not. If anything, a title should be something that comes because exclusively you decide to be together and longterm, see a life with eachother. If that is not the case, I personally feel like a title is not necessary nor does it have a timeline on when it should come.

Whenever you are getting to know anyone, you need to state your intentions in the beginning so that everyone has a clear idea of what it is that they do and dont want; and what they will and will not tolerate in the relationship. If you say all of this in the beginning, then the other person is already aware of what you want. You should not have to keep repeating it, nor question if they have a clear understanding of it.

Because of that, if you are with someone that you truly care about and you know truly cares about you, I feel like the thought of title does not occupy your mind space in a way where it bothers you. This is because you know that the title is coming.

People are an experience. I have learned to cherish each person in my life in a way where I try not to force expectations on them beyond the base expectations that I put on everyone. I have learned that things will happen in the way that they should, when they should. If it does not happen, then it was simply not meant to happen.

Good luck Jo, I hope this helped!