Divorce isn't an end; it's a different beginning.
When One Love Isn't Enough (1)
The last couple of days have been emotional. My doorbell rang and when I opened my door, an old familiar face turned around, “I heard a congratulations….WTF happened to your face?”
You’re looking out of the window, tears wet your throat and mix with the sweat on your chest, you writhe with stomach pain, you shudder. Nothing is as you believed, she hated you and you did not know. It was real hatred, otherwise she would not have said those horrible things, she would not have called you a failure. Wait, what did she say exactly? Ah, yes, “You’re a borne failure, you’re a loser by nature, Thomas, and “he” is worth a thousand times more than you in bed.”
Divorcing a Narcissist Executive Psychopath With Anger Issues
(This is part of a series. You are invited to read the other stories as well.) ~ The phone call alerted me the papers were served. In his hands, he was holding the divorce papers that were 24 years and 68 days coming, the very papers that notified him I was officially filing for divorce.
My Husband Wants A Divorce How Do I Change His Mind (How To Change Husband's Mind About Divorce)
We have all heard the terrible statistics about marriage and divorce by now that half of all marriages end up badly with spouses splitting leaving behind them broken homes, broken hearts and broken dreams. How to stop your divorce is therefore a popular topic and one that may be much needed in this climate of unstable relationships. However the enormous amount of advice that can be found from professionals and from magazines and even sites like this can seem shallow, contradictory or confusing often because everyone situation is slightly different and sometimes this advice does not seem to be relevant to your marriage and how you can fix it.
My Wife Wants A Separation But I Don't (My Wife Wants To Separate Should I Leave)
Is your marriage in a dire crisis because your wife wants to separate from you and now you're looking for marriage advice to save it?
Get MARRIED 5 YEARS, BEGIN TO HATE HUSBAND, HAVE the IDEA OF divorce, am I ASKING too high?
2015 Objectively speaking, he is a good man and treats me well. He does all the cooking and cleaning and his income is higher than mine. He had no children and did not intend to have any. But now the situation is that two people will quarrel whenever they meet, as long as they do things together, from cleaning up the house to going out to play, to making important life decisions. What's more, I think I have different demands on life from him. When I drag him to lose weight, work out and travel, he feels that he is humoring me, accompanying me and all kinds of grievances. The problem is he's overweight, he's in poor health and he has chronic diseases, and he doesn't study. Now I realize that education and knowledge are also very important to marriage. Now I want a divorce. Two people together is torture. I know divorce is not the best way to solve the problem, and in a small county, this kind of thing affects me. But I have been trying so hard for so many years, read a lot of psychological books about marriage, still can't solve it. I have no plans to remarry even if I get divorced. I think maybe I have too high a requirement for marriage. I'd better live on my own. Can you give me some advice? What the hell are we gonna do? Leave or leave, this is really a problem!
What kind of marriage is necessary to divorce?
Divorce nearly a year, said after the divorce of life after the divorce and daughter moved into oneself buy a house before marriage transition, their full buy apartment after marriage also make a room, prepared for a while and daughter moved to an apartment, then home remodeling, open more comfortable life this year how to say, the very happy, to work, After supper every day with the one lap daughter lake, see flower just buy a bunch of back swinging, climbing over the weekend, see a play, or driving around one lap, daughter is like my little tail, and followed me everywhere, character is very cheerful, for mom and dad separated from the fact that she also understood and accepted, now found no ill effects. No one will quarrel with me for trifles, no longer for the sink when to wash the bowl, how to put things, whether there is dust on the ground and so on and so on sesame mung bean size things affect the mood, what they want to do, what they want to do, long lost freedom. There are less things to worry about in life, and the mood is better. I feel that my sleep is better and my skin is better. In short, I am not so haggard and beautiful. About feelings, there are two suitors, the condition is good also, never married, a same age with me, a 4 years younger than me, but are not ready to into the next relationship, because too enjoy now state, although once or twice will feel like a bit lonely, but on the whole is free, along with the gender, comfortable, compared with the life now, Occasionally lonely, no matter about the economy, but more easily than before, I a person in charge of three food and drink before him, now only need to responsible for yourself and daughter overhead, do take it easy, so a little bit reduced workload, let oneself can more time to rest, and more time with my daughter. My cat follows us, which is another way to be a family of three. Ex-husband, regret, he began to recover the divorce, and even began to learn to cook, to pick up daughter from school, and bought me flowers, do a lot more than four years in the marriage never do, but I don't need it, I refused, he advances and retrieve heart no waves, very not easy to pick out the pit of fire, there is no reason to jump back flatly. Now what I want to do most is to make money, give myself more confidence, give my daughter a better life. Here for the original answer - - hand -- -- -- cut -- - yesterday, just divorce, married in 2016, has experienced five years before marriage of love distance, have emotional foundation, each other the best age to the other party, and in more than four years later, we together for nearly ten years ~ yesterday calm to deal with the divorce, children raised by me, He can come to see his children at any time, and I do not limit his contact with the children, there is no denying that he still loves the children very much, I once thought to live like this for the children, but maybe I am a selfish mother, I think I can't sacrifice the rest of my life for the children, I just want to cut my losses and be happy in time... Now think about it, actually before marriage have signs will go today this step, we through, he was affected by education is to enjoy life, a life but for decades, happy is the most important, namely parents hand holding the baby in my heart, that married for so many years I didn't even know how much his salary, but he just enough to spend, my spending in the home, However, he is still behind my back loan more than 300 thousand recharge game! Yes, the top up game! During the period of his loan, in addition to my own work, I also had to take over the business of the online store at night and packed it up until 2,3 a.m., which was a common thing. For a long time, I suffered from severe sleep deprivation and hair loss... However, he just quit his job because he couldn't get up and the working place was too far away. These did not have any immediate divorce, let us help he finished loans, he no longer prepaid phone games, I also said, can not go to work, then we exchange, I only need him to answer the child in the afternoon, at ordinary times don't criticise us blind bb into (he feel a slight obsessive-compulsive disorder, tilt the table, children eat chip crumbs off the ground he would struggle for a long time, always say... ...). And I am very casual that ~ after dirty wipe good, there is no need for this little quarrel...... What's more, he doesn't need to do anything. I also send the children to class in the morning. What he has to do is to pick up the dishes after school and dinner, and then put them in the dishwasher... Yes, he felt very wronged because of this, and even magnified to think that "I do all the housework in this family"... It didn't get us divorced... Really the root cause of the divorce, it may be unable to control his ~ I'm pregnant, he is really good, do, that I even grateful to marry the right person ~ can be confined during, I cracked because pain from the extreme to cry, he stood there and looked at me coldly, light 1: mother is so great, how do you so thing... On this word, let me remember today, clearly remember the feeling at that time, suddenly cold, wanted to kill him...... May it sowed the seed in my heart, I began to intentionally or unintentionally for their own lives more ~ so I did not become a full-time mother, but kept on working, but in his eyes, my work is my f * * k with in ~ (my friend and I opened a home stay facility partnership entrepreneurship), entrepreneurial didn't ask him for a penny, he has been entangled with the source of money, I say it's online store on deposit and my savings before marriage, He wouldn't believe it... Because of this matter we quarreled many times, I don't think there is anything worth quarreling about, quarreled in the exciting place, he started, men and women strength disparity I can feel ~ although I tried to resist, still can not escape ~ this is the first time...... May I to save face after the good is not secret, he tasted the sweet and warm time gradually began to five times with me ~ the last time I eyes bloodshot, his feet chuai, everywhere is the lump ~ this time I also like make a determined effort, into his leg with a key, and then go to the hospital examination, go to the police station for the record ~ may heart is dead, To cause this calm after his parents always scold him in front of me, begged me to forgive him and his parents is really good to me, no one else family in-law problems, plus the child still small, again I compromise ~ until the outbreak period, he drank too much wine, in my daughter's birthday on the same day, dumped her several slap, daughter didn't do, only is quiet sit still watching TV, Was suddenly play ~ I was in the bath, heard crying ran out, he said, pointing to day denies it, until I dig out home monitoring screen, he didn't have nothing to say to the daughter was three years old, so young ~ he promised never to drink ~ I said to him, this is the last chance but he didn't take long to drink many, drunk driving out of the car accident, and lost a lot of money, but also in... Every time he drank, I couldn't sleep at home, for fear of something happening. Sure enough, a week ago, he drank too much again. When he came back, he smashed the glass everywhere in the house. I called his parents and my parents came to his parents to the first, he accused me in front of his parents don't go home all day break home stay facility and so on ~ ~ no matter kids have to cat (children in addition to need him to answer it, everything else is I do, as for the cat, is he asked me if I want to bring back, I just brought back, the original has been kept in the home stay facility), also called my family... By the way, the hit thing, he is the master of the monitoring pulled out first, so I doubt whether he really drunk ~ my parents come after, he change before the appearance of swearing, crying, so I looked at him coldly looking at ~ said he hasn't seen drunk not for so many years, has never been drunk out of control, all because of me, and I together is out of control... The day I will pick up the luggage is moved out ~ since I told her so, that I let him good ~ yesterday, after a week we divorce, have a dinner party to the marriage, I can't say I no problem, I admit that I haven't play the woman, can't just fall in love with playing ~ I unknowingly become an iron lady ~ and he, He needs a wife who is gentle and sweet, who adores and admires him, and I can't give him... He needs a leech on to his woman, and I need a close man ~ we also stubborn, and two people who would not bend, how can you go to the last ~ can clearly before I was the little woman let us into today ~ ~ time along the way, although have regret but without regret, at least I have such a lovely daughter is decent ~ ~ at least leave
What happens to women who divorce without children?
I was less than a year old when my mom got divorced. She was 24. The baby was supposed to be with the girl, but she didn't ask me for custody, because the biological father was abusive and threatened to kill her. She dared not argue with him. She took unpaid leave after the divorce, moved to Shenzhen in the late 1980s and, at 27, married a first-time Hong Kong man who was smitten with her, aged 25. But when my biological father got custody, he found it hard to take care of children, so he threw me back to my grandparents' house. I only kept my household register. Yeah, no meetings, no child support, but keeps my hukou. It was not until I was in my teens that my mother decided to give me a hukou to move to Hong Kong and gave him a sum of money that he agreed. So I lived with my grandparents when I was young, and my mother came to visit me once every two or three years. Sounds like the same as left-behind children very sad, but also OK, grandpa is retired cadres, living in the courtyard, food and clothing to go to school not worry, occasionally someone malicious smile to me said: "your mother don't want you? She's not coming back?" It was sad at the time, but looking back, I'm better off than those people now, and I'm relieved. Then she had a brother and a sister. Hong Kong people have been very good to her, developed to buy a car are written in her name. Two nannies took care of the children when their younger siblings were young. All she does is wash her hair, manicure and play mah-jong. Later, I came to study with her and lived with her for four years. Maybe because we didn't grow up together, we always feel that we are not very familiar with our mother and stepfather. But they have not wronged me, the camera computer freely buy, the family car freely drive, buy clothes, buy bags and buy skin care products also do not have any restrictions. At that time, I always quarreled with her, because she thought I would do nothing but spend money, but I thought I was a great man. I looked down on her and played mahjong every day. I had no feelings for her. And I feel like it's my fault that she left me when I was a kid and didn't develop a relationship? Smoking and drinking play mahjong every day does not take care of younger brothers and sisters, even in the home oneself wash hair feel tired she still have reason? I have to worship her? Now that I'm over 30, I can really understand her. Who wouldn't want to live easy? She is qualified to play mahjong with long nails every day. She is not willing to wash, cook, clean up the room, take care of children, study from nine to five, and even not willing to exercise, play or swim, because she is an ordinary person with weaknesses, laziness and choices. These should not be reasons for me to look down on her. If she had fought for custody of me after her divorce and struggled to get along in her hometown working for a state-owned company/government agency, it would not have ended well for her or me. Because she was brave enough to go out and get perhaps a better life, and thus gave me more possibilities. If I was following my birth father, would I be able to go to college? Will junior high school graduation go out to work? I really can't think about it. P.S. Why was my mom able to marry a younger Hong Kong guy who was obsessed with her? The WORLD HAS NO REASON OF GOOD FORTUNE MY MOTHER IS YOUNG WHEN THE ORGAN BIG COURTYARD FAMOUS BEAUTY (-_- AND DID NOT INHERIT TO ME) AND THE CHARACTER IS VERY HUMOROUS AND WITTY CAN NOT HELP BUT WANT TO SAY TWO OF HER JOKE SON SOME DAY SHE AND I ONE BEFORE ONE AFTER STANDING ON THE ESCALATOR I TOUCHED HER BOTTOM SHE: THANK YOU, 100 YUAN. Me: I'm giving you a massage. You have to give me 100 yuan. She: Really? If you want to charge me, you have to press it the way I like it. Get down on your knees and hold out your hands. I:... One DAY I (PLAYING WITH HER THIGH) : Mommy, WHY ARE THERE SOME PURPLE BLOOD VESSELS ON YOUR LEG? She: As people get older, the skin becomes thinner and the blood vessels become more obvious. I: oh? So I'm gonna have purple veins in my legs when I'm old? Her dia voice dia languidly say: you won't ~ I: you will comfort me! She: I'm not trying to comfort you, you really won't ~ Me: really? Why is that? She: Because your skin is dark, even if you are old, you will not become as white as me. When she was young, she could hardly get on a train with a suitcase and cross an overpass without a man offering to help her carry her luggage (not once in my life, what a world!). I tried twice standing on the shoulder of the freeway with her in a broken down car, and both times people stopped and asked if she needed help. After all, I could play with her leg for a year... (Don't ask me where the tall buildings are, but she stands on this side of Wan Chai, across from Kowloon.) This answer got a lot of likes, but ah... How could things be so perfect? When SHE WAS 43 YEARS OLD, SHE WAS STILL A BULLY, HOUSEWORK ALL LEFT TO THE NANNIES, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO WITH MONEY, A MONTH AT LEAST 30 THOUSAND SMALL SPENDING, lose MORE IS THE ROLE OF NO edge. That year my stepfather, 41, met a 21-year-old girlfriend. A hostess, to him said he was born in the countryside of the tragic life, he said his heart a sour, to her rent a car (did not write her name), is kept. When my mom found out, she turned the world upside down and set fire to our own house (before the babysitter put it out). In fact, she was still beautiful at that time. After all, she didn't have to worry about life, she often maintained. She could also easily do the cartwheels that she practiced in the gymnastics team when she was a child. But even if it is 35, how does it compare to 21? What's more, Shenzhen's night, a stubble of 18, 9 years old, every year there are new people. They also seriously discussed the divorce, went to the lawyer's office, the lawyer asked the stepfather: divorce you willing to pay how much property and maintenance? He said: house car to her, children she wants to also give her, I pay 50,000 a month child support. She thought about it, but she didn't leave. My opinion is that she has been spending freely for so many years that she has no ability to make money. Fifty thousand a month, minus the family expenses, was hardly enough to maintain her standard of living. To continue to live the life of manicures, mah-jongg, and showing off in front of Mah-yo in fancy cars, one must swallow the fact that his husband cheated on him, he seems to have changed, but once he has another child, he can't help it. It would be a lie to say that she cared less about her husband's infidelity than she did for a life of ease, looking at an admirer who has been licking her knees for years. I don't know when he turned into a highly sought after successful person in the society, while she became a middle-aged and elderly woman with no chips except her two children, no matter how she splashed. Life is so cruel, if beauty wins a good life, beauty is gone, what do you hold in your hand? Lots of cash? A well-developed business? A craft you can eat? Industry connections? To get into a beautiful place, to lie back and enjoy life for all these years and what's the result? It's when you realize you've lost all your chips, and you're gonna have to live with it from now on. Since then, she really changed her temperament, she cursed her partner with the most vicious language, she gambled more and more, she smoked and drank and stayed up more and more fierce, she was 48 years old abdominal pain admitted to hospital, was found to have cancer. She's the only one on my grandparents' side of the family with cancer. Three surgeries, plus chemoradiotherapy, for years. Although the family had carers to look after her, it was a very, very painful few years for her. She was just under 53 when she died. I, too, married a man of modest means and had two children. But I have always had a very deep sense of crisis and never stopped trying to study, work and make money. Because I have learned from my mother's life experience that... I'm not as pretty as her, and I can't eat that bowl of face food. I want to dare to play mahjong every day beauty nail estimate soon be divorced a boring -_ - - - this is my two years ago to write the answer -- -- Ironically, although I have no beauty nail playing mahjong every day and I also expand + company's business I'm getting paid for my education and I'm still getting divorced and I don't have custody of my two kids and I have to fight over visitation... What kind of brain circuit is my Soon to Be ex-husband? No one knows but oh, but oh, the point is! I now income OK ~ lawyer fee? The cost of living? No problem. I'm not extravagant either (miracle given my mom's lifestyle). Don't make trouble, don't worry! My grandfather is the eighth Route Army, grew up in the compound, inherited the old revolutionary spirit of me, hardworking, brave and kind what to be afraid of!
Why are more divorced women with children reluctant to remarry?
I am 31 years old, my daughter is 6 years old, and I have been divorced for 6 years. I have not considered remarriage, which has nothing to do with the "once bitten, twice shy" relationship, is simply "don't want", feel "not cost-effective." I don't know if you agree or not, "marriage is to use the freedom and happiness when young, to replace the old feelings, pension security." That's a concept. Now that I am divorced and have children, in the eyes of many people, I already have that pension security, why do I want to get married? But to be honest, raising a child is not a kind of pension security. Nowadays, it is common to have a retirement salary to subsidize the younger generation. I have seen people in their 70s who help take care of their great-grandchildren. I spent 6 years from nothing, divorce only got 600 a month of minimum child support, I did not ask, because do not want any contact. Now I have a house, a car and a good income. The hard work during this period cannot be expressed in a few words. The more I have suffered, the easier it is to satisfy and cherish my hard-won life. Fortunately, I am very good, so I have been introduced to a lot of people, relatives and friends all hope that I will marry well, but I still can recognize the reality. Find an older, the same divorce has children, can find good economic conditions indeed, but such a reorganization of the family is a lot of disadvantages, and I do not need his economic conditions to my life what help. Or find a young, but can't afford to buy a house, but people want me what? Are you trying to make me look good? There is no shortage of good-looking girls in this world. Remarriage is a "bad deal" for me anyway. Love this matter, there is a good fate, I certainly want to open arms to embrace it; But if it doesn't, it's no big deal. It's not even a shame. Doesn't it make you feel better to be single when you think about the trouble that might arise from linking with another person, including his or her family? Life is such a fleeting time, that time, energy spent to do something else, also good. After passing the difficult days and solving the economic problems, my daughter and I really lived very happy, two people are too sweet. We take part in various parent-child activities on weekends. All kinds of hands on production, there is really no boring. She's taken a lot of classes, but they're all things she likes, things she wants to learn, painting, piano, dancing, Legos, and most recently, boxing. We signed up to learn swimming in the summer vacation, she learned, I didn't. Don't feel sorry for yourself. It's just a divorce. Divorce doesn't mean you've failed, it just means you've ended a relationship. No one will look down on you, and no one will laugh at you as you imagine your classmates and neighbors. It's 2020. Work hard to make money, women really any time to have their own ability to make money. Women really at any time to have their own ability to make money. Women really at any time to have their own ability to make money. Important things to say three times. We often hang out together and I like to take pictures. Sometimes friends are not in, let her take me, she will complain, all day long know to take photos take photos....... This one she took, it's pretty good. Life is not only love, not only marriage. Marriage and love are not just needs of life, can only be said to be accessories, grow up you will know, just need only money, adult 90% of the problem, can be solved with money.
Are women who don't have children after divorce heartless?
When my parents divorced, my mom didn't want me. She gave up custody. Later my father would occasionally take this matter out to say that my mother is cruel. In fact, I don't think there is anything cruel, I am my mother's cub, is also my father's cub, why I can't with my father, why I have to with my mother. When they were together, my mother and I depended on each other. In heavy rain, my mother rode a bicycle to pick me up from school, and my father drove his car without coming to visit me. Every night, I waited for my mother to come back from the night shift to accompany me. She had to cook for me after a hard day. My father only knew that he would beat her when he was drunk. My mom went to all the PTA meetings, and after they left, I was in high school, and my dad went to PTA meetings thinking I was in middle school. So why do I have to stick with my mom, who's done so much for me, when they were still together, my mom was all I had in my life, so when they're divorced I have to stick with her and screw her over? It's a good thing my mom didn't ask for custody, or I'd have to choose. I want my mother to live a relaxed life, free from the constraints of her husband and children, I want to grind my father, let him know that raising children is not easy, money, strength, heart, all come out. The mother who does not have a child after divorce is not cruel ah, cruel what, she as a mother's premise must be a dignified person with self. After all this hard work, no more kids, she deserves it. I didn't expect a lot of comments! In addition, my mother's education background is not as high as my father's, the job is not as stable as my father's, and the economic conditions are not as good as my father's, so I did not with my mother at that time there is another reason, I am afraid that she alone with me too heavy burden. If she hadn't taken me with her, she could have had more time to work, earned more money, and made a better living for herself, as it turned out she did. Now she has found a boyfriend who is very nice to her. They have been living together for a long time, and they are not going to get married because she wants to leave me her house and everything. I'm working hard and trying to save some money to buy another house in my mom's name. In fact, we don't want anything from each other. We only want what's best for each other. My father and I have a good relationship, he remarried, personality changed a lot, became a very responsible man. He got a nice wife, too. I used to hang out with her in private, and I told her things I didn't want to tell my dad. Time has healed a lot, and I'm thankful, because now everyone is really good. I hope all of you can be happy, make the right choice, don't compromise yourself, and leave the rest to time. Wow, I didn't expect so many people to comment on my answer! And it's all positive and warm. It's great! Since many of my friends have asked me some questions in the comments and even in private messages, I will answer them in unifications. 1. Why did my parents choose to divorce? Because two people character wife is too inappropriate, are huge stubborn, complementary is completely not complementary, everywhere tit for tat is the reality. And my dad is very well-built, and he's in his fifties now and he's looking good, and he's got good skin, so even when he was young, he was a real go-to guy in his twenties and thirties. When he was young, he really had no sense of responsibility. He had no concept of it at all, so he would stay out late and come home every day. And my mother was very family-oriented and couldn't stand it, so they fought and quarreled all the time, and they got divorced. 2. Why did my father change for the better later? One is that he got older. My father used to be very immature in dealing with people and things, and did not take charge of things. Never do any housework, I was forced to mop the floor and wash clothes every day. Second, my grandparents passed away one after another. Although he was not an only child, he was still deeply shocked. He talked to me after that, said that he felt that without his parents, his roots would be gone, and he would be a little insecure. It was also after that that he began to realize the importance of family and companionship. Three is his present wife is really good. Honestly, sometimes I can't stand my dad, and she can take it and put up with it, which is what I love most. What my dad was born not a optimistic person, when I'm reading, he had very severe depression, the middle of the night can not sleep, push the I wake up, want me to accompany him for a walk (but I didn't, and because be wake is very angry scold him mental derangement, now in retrospect, I was sad and sorry, I shouldn't have said at the time]. But his wife is different from him, is a very attention to the details of life, very cheerful and tolerant. I feel like he's being assimilated by his wife, and that's why he's at peace. Now my father does not mention the past, and he will advise me not to be too fussed and more considerate when I quarrel with my mother and complain to him. Men are like this, must leave from the circle, after the person left, a person digest thinking for a long time, will gradually realize that others before his good. 3. It was very sad how my mom's life turned out. It was really hard for her at first. It rained the day she moved out, and at night she piled her luggage into the back of the van with her umbrella up and her back turned to me to say goodbye. When she left, I cried for a long time, feeling powerless. Later, she rented a small house nearby to make it easier for me to eat, and I spent every weekend in that rental house when I was in high school. Then someone introduced her to a new boyfriend, and she moved in with the uncle, but he was so bad-tempered that they broke up soon after. When the first house we bought came up for lease and the tenant left, she moved back in and has lived there ever since. Then her unit has less, although has not collapse, but every month can only get one thousand seven hundred subsidies, she started by the one thousand seven hundred subsidies and old house rent 【 I remember rent nine hundred yuan at the beginning, then one thousand two hundred] to buy food, medicine, her heart is bad 】 【 rent, then the body a little better, and moved back to old house, she began to go out to work. She used to be an accountant, but later began to do auditing. Moreover, she also took a part-time job to do accounting. Every month, she gradually saved her salary and the subsidy from the company. Now she retired, has been too lazy to go to work, every month with retirement salary and bought before the dividend of the unit stock, can have 7,000 or 8,000 a month. She doesn't spend much and she doesn't spend too much, so she's doing just fine. She met her current boyfriend at work and the two got together. My mother was nostalgic and refused to move, so my uncle moved in with her all the time. This uncle is also a very good person, character is very gentle, giant delicious cooking, my mother has tried for many years didn't do not played a bed not doing the housework in the morning, home affairs are the uncle in the dot size, sometimes I send message to my mother she would back because the didn't get up in the morning and afternoon as human social animals I envy her... 4. For women who are going through a marital crisis, I'm going through a marital crisis right now, but that's for another story. Fortunately, I haven't given birth to a child yet. So I plan to make up for the lack of work due to the epidemic before, and then negotiate a divorce. If you're like me and you're going through a marital crisis but don't have kids, feel free to break up. As long as you have a job and can earn money, it's not a problem to feed yourself. But if you don't have a job, you still need to make a plan. Before you rush to divorce, find a job and settle down before you leave. And maybe when you get a job and you're busy and you're in a different mood, you'll find that your marriage can actually be salvaged. If you're going through a marital crisis, you have kids. Then I suggest you talk to your child about it, rationally and without emotion. If the child is not awarded to you, you must explain to the child why you may be absent more often for the rest of your life. The child is too young to understand, and there is nothing better you can do than not be absent from his/her life in the future. The child will understand when he/she grows up. But if your baby is a baby, you can only do your job and be yourself after the divorce. If people talk about it, feel free to be a bitch if they want to be, but you're a good person. Whether you're divorced or with kids or not, remember to always put yourself first. A mother with an independent personality will always be more attractive than a mother who is always submissive. Don't put negative emotions and messages in your child's head. Let your child know that divorce is OK, that life will be the same, and maybe better. Don't let your child lose hope of marriage. That's it. Finally, I hope you get over it and all is well. ❤ ️
Why is the divorce rate so high now?
This is a worldwide problem. In short: the short-term costs of maintaining a household are too high and too low value for money. The ubiquity of cheap teats has dimmed the happiness of marriage. Watching Douyin and playing King of Glory for a day is a big difference between energy and pleasure compared to taking a child for an hour. The rising cost of housing price, education and medical care makes the family operating cost higher and higher, and the support of six wallets of the family is increasingly needed. Individual marriages become a contest of families and clans. On the contrary, the family's original anti-risk function becomes less important as social welfare improves. Information flow and transportation are becoming more convenient, and the value of the family to the individual is becoming less and less. Instead, the negative emotions of parents, couples, children and so on are increasingly recognized. As housing prices soar, marriage rates plunge So is the concept of family about to become a thing of the past? But it's not. The family and marriage also serve a crucial function: as vehicles for the intergenerational accumulation of wealth and social resources. In the United States, it often takes several generations to raise a person to enter the upper class. The same is true of families from Kennedy to Trump. It takes decades of hard work in Chinatown for first-generation immigrants to get their children ahead. This is because class mobility tends to take place in an intergenerational fashion, so the role of the family is delayed, unpredictable and therefore difficult to influence on ongoing marriage decisions. This point is just like buying insurance, the more money, the more attention, the more difficult to make a decision, the last is polarization. Thus, as family relationships tend to disintegrate, intergenerational resource accumulation at the middle and lower levels of the pyramid is interrupted. After the reform and opening up, China entered the three decades of the most rapid class mobility in history. An important reason is that the first three decades of social reform and family planning have resulted in a generally stable family structure. On the basis of this stable structure, education, experience and resources can be passed down, triggering the qualitative change that breaks through the stratum. Similarly, one of the biggest problems facing black Americans is the lack of family culture. White children from middle-class families are always more likely to maintain their class status than black children. Blacks are more likely to be stuck at the bottom of society or to slip from the middle class. Now: as it becomes harder to maintain marriages and families, intergenerational mobility will stop. Above the middle level, there are many ways to accumulate intergenerational resources -- stocks, power, insurance, foundations, social connections. The upper classes further secured their resources and channels through repeated marriages. However, for the middle and lower classes, without the carrier of intergenerational accumulation, individuals have to face the barrier of consanguineous relations in the upper class to move from one class to another. At the same time, decisions on social security, on which individuals depend, are in the hands of the upper classes. Europe and the United States have strict and costly laws on divorce, but they have not stopped divorce rates from rising. Stable families eventually became a luxury for the few at the bottom and a necessity for the upper class. The growing trend toward unmarried, single-parent families has coincided with a growing sense of family awareness among the newly minted upper middle class. In many cities and towns in China, there used to be a year-end family ritual to worship their ancestors. Preside over and led by the chief of the family, young and old in order, men and women divided into groups. The ritual was much the same everywhere. In the past, there were some big family shrines in towns with matsuri or offerings. The so-called sacrifice is that after building the ancestral temple, the families agree not to purchase the sacrificial fields, but invest the donation into a firm for joint stock or equity management, or lend it to a firm, and the interest is used to buy offerings and repair the ancestral temple house. Large-scale sacrificial activities often need to be initiated by core figures who master certain resources, and become the platform and opportunity for resource integration. This economic activity centered on sacrifice is often the embodiment of family economic strength. For those who host and finance sacrifice, it is not only a source of funds, but also a source of contacts. In modern European and American countries, although there is no such family ritual as sacrifice, the family foundation and the family industry can share peer resources and carry on the inheritance between generations. In many systems of local enterprises and institutions in our country, various families have married each other in various systems, and it has formed a network of consanguineous relations from the base to leadership. The "family" of grassroots power is a cancer of political ecology. From the "rocket promotion" in Xiangtan, Hunan Province, to the "daughter-in-law" incident in Shanxi Province, to the "succession for father" in Jieyang, Guangdong Province, etc., all of these are worthy of the name of the "official family" phenomenon. What is more serious is that such things are no longer limited to a certain area of individual cases, but have appeared layer upon layer of parasitic pattern. The way of "hereditary" has also changed from the common single-line "inheritance" between father and son, mother and daughter to the trend of "one person wins the way, the chicken and the dog rise to heaven". For example, in the case of "daughter-in-law" in Shanxi Province, at least 15 family members worked as officials in Yuncheng city. As the society continues to divide and members become more and more dispersed, even when a family is formed, relations between relatives are becoming more and more easily alienated and the sense of family is becoming weaker and weaker. On the other hand, once the family-oriented trend takes shape in the middle and upper classes, the family structure attached to it will be more stable, and the intergenerational resource accumulation will be more efficient and difficult to break. In a word, stable families and marriages will become increasingly unaffordable luxuries for ordinary people.
Why did you get divorced?
George Bernard Shaw once quipped: "If you want to get married, get married. If you want to stay single, stay single. In the end you'll all regret it."