Divorce isn't an end; it's a different beginning.
Turns out I sucked at it, and now I'm getting divorced at the age of 27. Which kind of feels embarrassing to say, even though I knew the marriage was doomed from the beginning.. So why am I shocked now?
It was the fairy tale ending to a magical beginning. Or so I thought. We were two people who met in college. We grew into a friendship, which then grew into a romance...
The marriage would come years later, but it’s a story behind that, first; let me tell you about why I decided to stay. Well, I had thought that I had found the right man. He was so cunning and warm with his words and so charming with the southern ways I fell totally in love with him. He did all the right things. And every day I fell more and more in love with him.
Some women are predators. I’m not blaming her. Ok, I am blaming her entirely. I blame him entirely too. My husband was, technically, an adult when they met, even though he quickly regressed into a man with the emotional maturity of a teen in love.
You know how when you watch a movie, you put yourself in the shoes of the actor/actress and you tell yourself how differently you would do things if put in their situation? How if you ever found yourself in an abusive relationship, you’d immediately get out before any real damage could be done? I was one of those people. I was wrong, but I was one of those people once.
Obadiah and Lana dated each other for many years online until one day they met face to face and both of them felt that the love they had for each other was real. For a time, they were inseparable, and they married.
There is such a thing as grieving for a relationship. Whether it's the end of a marriage, a long-term relationship, or even a short-term relationship that was very meaningful during its time, there's usually a period of time for mourning what could have been, what would have been, or what we think should have been.
While waiting in line at the market to buy groceries with my two children, my younger son reached to hug me. Pulling my cheek toward his lips, he planted a kiss there.
It has been about a week since we communicated. I am ridiculous lonely without his company. A face on a screen 5000 miles away was still better than absolutely nothing . Now I have nothing and no one. I was obviously completely naïve thinking I would just simply find someone else after 15 years with my husband. I thought I had found my someone else. It turned into something else.
Statistics in 2012 reported that 42 per cent of all marriages in England and Wales end in divorce. Surprisingly though, divorce rates are apparently falling, from 10.1 per cent in 2012 to 8.5 per cent in 2015.
It does not matter how often anyone says, being a confident single woman is a desired goal, it will never become as focused on as finding love. Movies, songs, stories, friends, and ex-husbands will continuously remind me of the importance placed on the goal of finding a partner.
It was March 17th, last year, when my husband Ricardo came to our bedroom to tell me these words: “I don’t love you anymore, and I want the divorce.” I remember myself thinking — “Ops! What is he talking? Oh fuck!”. So my brain did it all in two seconds to put some words in my mouth, so I asked him, “Umm, Why?” — painful but a needed question.