A lover of life...always thankful!
Today while I was meditating, it hit me that I needed to work a little deeper on my forgiveness. It's easy to walk around carrying so much weight until the burden becomes too heavy. I don't want that to be me. I don't want to be a prisoner of my own cell. I had to start by remembering to forgive myself.
Courage is Required to Live
It's been ages since I've blogged. I've been processing. There's so much to process right now in our world and even my own world. I've been meditating deeply, praying daily, and journaling often. I've been focused on keeping myself hopeful and happy. Sometimes I have so much to share but have a hard time organizing my thoughts. There are two themes that keep recurring for me - that's courage and power. Not only do we need courage to live this life but we have to remember to acknowledge our power often.
I recently lost my father. It's been the heaviest and most difficult experience I've ever had to face. You wish the world would stop and give you time to grieve but it won't. We live in a "Carry on" society and although I've had tons of support, I can't help but to feel like there's a long, lonely road ahead.
Tryin to do me
It's been a whirlwind of a year. Every year I feel like I'll be more equipped to handle life's challenges. Then I realize with a lot of effort and knowledge of self I am, but it's never easy. I've had so many times this year where I've felt defeated, purposeless, and just disappointed with where I am. I know these can be somewhat normal feelings as long as you're not stuck in this feeling; in believing this "norm" is where you belong.
Read This If You're Having a Bad Day
This one goes out to you. To the person who is trying to stay positive. To the person who is trying to make ends meet. To the single mom working doubles and overtime to provide for her kids. To the dad who was misjudged hoping to be granted visitation. To the person working long hours to prove themselves to a boss that keeps overlooking them. To the person who's been saving money to buy a car or put a deposit on a new place and something keeps coming up. To the lonely person who wishes they had a partner to be able to rely on. To the person who keeps fighting for their health day after day. To the person who feels like giving up. This one's for you.
Depression Is Real
Depression is attacking our generation. It's so easy to feel defeated. We can dread getting out of bed. Dread going to work at our jobs. Dread taking a long commute to get there or dread being around certain people. We can dread certain situations. Dread our obligations. There are a variety of situations that can make us completely unhappy. Especially if they seem to draw out for a long time.
We underestimate ourselves. We live in a society that conditions us to believe in something greater than ourselves. Sometimes it has an effect to believe in something bigger than us. It can give us hope. Sometimes we can feel so clouded with everything around us it can send a ripple through our minds that can make us feel defeated. It can be hard to discern the truth.
Ode to Spring
I've always had a long time love affair with Spring. There's something about the longer days, bluer skies, warmer weather, the scents getting sweeter, and flowers blooming that really remind me how beautiful life is. In ecology, it's been known as a time for mating between animals. The birds are singing, the foliage has the richest color, and it seems like it could be the most pleasant time of year.
It's been a while and it truly sucks to be away from the things you love. For me it's writing, among other things. I've had some intense life changes happening all year long. I've moved cross country and I'm readjusting to a familiar city. It's nostalgic and interesting to be home. A lot of people don't move back to their hometown once they leave. Statistically, 58 percent of people between 25-35 return to their hometown while ten percent will return after the age of 35. What normally makes people return? Family, community, familiarity, higher paying positions or lower living expenses. For me, it was almost all of the above.