Open Apology

Today while I was meditating, it hit me that I needed to work a little deeper on my forgiveness. It's easy to walk around carrying so much weight until the burden becomes too heavy. I don't want that to be me. I don't want to be a prisoner of my own cell. I had to start by remembering to forgive myself.

I started thinking about the people in my life that I once shared a friendship or relationship with and what I learned from them. I could hear their voices in my head while doing this practice. I heard each message resonating in my mind that I took away from the time that we spent together. I valued those moments and conversations because I learned so much about myself. I learned that it's okay to move on. I learned that we are always transitioning. I learned that just because we have to move on it doesn't mean it wasn't real. And I learned to trust myself. I also learned that there will be so many things along our soul's journey that will help us identify new things to rediscover ourselves. The same way our relationships change, we are constantly changing. It's important to know ourselves at each and every phase. You will come to a fork in the road where you discover something or someone isn't working for you as it once did and that's okay.

Every relationship in our lives will serve its purpose and no relationship is a waste of time. If you didn't get what you wanted, you learned about what you didn't want.

I have also made many mistakes in my life. I've been hurt but I have also hurt many people I never had any intention of hurting. For that I do apologize. Being rejected and having to reject others is part of the human experience. I believe we have to learn how to appreciate ourselves and others. These are the experiences that teach us, help us grow, and humble us.

Going through any kind of loss or withdraw from a relationship can be quite difficult. Whether their absence is or isn't your fault, you feel it. Whether they were wrong or you were right, it doesn't seem to matter. It's important to search ourselves for the answers; to make sure it's not about pride but more so our peace of mind. Some relationships are so stressful, the loss may bring you relief while others may take longer to recover from. Either way, it's good to take time to reflect on where you are with it and to honor your place through it.

I'm a strong believer that whoever is meant to be in your life will find their way back to you or you to them. Sometimes relationships need time to miss each other; to identify that the disagreement is really not worth it. Other times enough time goes by that you realize your life is just fine without them. In either case, it's important to find your peace with the situation. The only way to find peace is through forgiveness.

My intention is to forgive those who have hurt me and offended me. I intend to find forgiveness for myself for allowing certain things to happen and not being able to salvage the relationship. Sometimes it's easier to let go than it is to hold on. It's important not to force anything and let things flow. Sometimes what's unexplainable at some point will find meaning in your life later. It's important to wish that person well and send them along their way even if it is mindfully through your thoughts. Do this as often as necessary and this will help alleviate some of the burden in your mind. If you never speak again, the goal is to become indifferent about the situation whether you think of them or not.

Life is too short to be angry. Life is too short not to forgive. I understand in some cases this could take a lot of practice, but we must live intentionally. Forgiveness allows us to drop the excess weight and make room for more positive experiences. Forgiveness will allow me to keep living.