Become Who You're Afraid To Be

Most individuals shy away from fully expressing their authentic selves. They fear embracing aspects of their identity that may be deemed unacceptable, as doing so brings discomfort. Consequently, they compartmentalize themselves into two distinct halves: the conscious and the unconscious.

In their conscious half, they construct an idealized self-image, derived from the favorable and acceptable fragments of their past. Consequently, in the unconscious half, they suppress the parts they consider unfavorable and unacceptable. In the realm of Jungian psychology, this suppressed element is known as "The Shadow." Without integrating The Shadow into their personality, individuals can never reach their maximum potential. Instead, they remain incomplete, fractured, and partial, leading a life overshadowed by regret, rather than one of fulfillment.

To illustrate, let's consider a scenario where I have solved a few equations and convinced myself of being a great mathematician. Suppose I meet some friends who inform me about a math club they belong to. They gather every weekend to tackle the most challenging math problems. This prospect scares me because joining the club would mean I can no longer uphold my self-perception as a "great mathematician." Instead, I would be confronted with my true strengths and weaknesses as an individual. In such a situation, there are two possible courses of action.

The first is to avoid my shadow and allow it to grow. I decline the invitation to join the math club, preserving my idealized self-image as a skilled mathematician. However, in doing so, I forfeit the opportunity to actually become one.

The second option is to confront and integrate my shadow. I choose to join the math club and acknowledge that I may not possess the mathematical prowess I previously believed. Initially, this realization might be painful. I come to understand that I struggle with geometry but excel in differential equations. I find my place among my colleagues, with an authentic rank and position among other mathematicians. Although I recognize that my self-perception as a great mathematician was flawed, I now have the chance to genuinely improve my skills and standing.

Ultimately, this decision proves to be transformative and rewarding in the long run. In many ways, we tend to prefer the notion of untapped potential. We convince ourselves that we could achieve anything we desire, without actively working towards actualizing our aspirations. We find solace in the idea that we possess the potential to be something remarkable if we choose to pursue it.

This inclination arises from the fact that striving for our goals entails facing the realities and limitations of the world. We are evaluated, ranked, and quantified. We exist in the realm of actuality, which can often be less gratifying than our idealized fantasies. However, reality is tangible, not a mere illusion. It can be improved upon, while a life lived in fantasy ultimately leads to tragedy.

The journey towards self-improvement commences with self-acceptance. Only by embracing and integrating our shadow, by accepting the unappealing aspects of ourselves, and by embracing the individuals we fear becoming.

can we unlock our true potential?.

Conversely, if we reject our shadow and selectively cherry-pick the parts of our past, personality, and behavior we favor, while suppressing the aspects that unsettle us, we become incomplete and fragmented. Instead of living a fulfilled and complete life, we are left with regret. The choice lies with you: in terms of Jungian philosophy,

will you embrace or reject your shadow?