Day 1 of My 40 Day Fast: Breaking Curses

When I got it in my head to do a 40 day water fast I filled with trepidation. I am a small person. I have always weighed under 120 pounds. How will my body make it through 40 days?

I’m coming off a three day liquid diet intended to clean out my bowels and heading straight into a long fast. In the last two years I have done many water fasts. The longest was 21 days, so just over the halfway mark of my current endeavour. When I first started fasting, I did a few one day fasts and then moved to five day fasts to see what it was like and if I could do it. On a spiritual level, I was also being guided to do them.

Since then I have been guided to do a few 7 day fasts, a couple 10 days, a 14 day, and, as mentioned before, a 21 day. Though I have done extended fasts before, this is my first time doing a long fast. I have also been intermittent fasting for a few years to heal a gut disease, but I don’t consider it fasting anymore. This is just how I live.

Before I resolved to do this, I wanted to know other’s experiences with it. I learned that while some people do it for spirituality, there are many people who have healed their bodies. Apparently, long fasts give the body enough time to start and complete autophagy, a process wherein the body repairs damaged cells. Most people said their hair stopped falling and their nails grew stronger. One guy healed the herniated disks in his neck. A woman reversed her diabetes.

In the beginning my reason for doing a 40 day water fast was not for healing my body. I wasn’t aware that could be a possibility. I was diagnosed with a severe gut disease, Ulcerative Colitis, in 2016 and I have been struggling with healing my body naturally since. This disease makes my large intestine bleed. I’ve managed to keep the bleeding away, but my gut is still a mess which has thrown my body out of balance. It doesn’t digest food properly, and so it doesn’t absorb nutrients like iron. I’m low energy. I have low blood pressure. I’m chronically bloated. I get hemorrhoids. I get headaches. My hair falls out. Most days I can get the acne under control, but some days they pop out no matter what. I’m visibly aging faster. I did not have any of these health issues before my gut became diseased. If I come out of this fast with a healed body, it will be the cherry on top.

I am being guided to do this fast to remove the curses put on my life by others. I was first attacked with black magic at the age of three or four. I know I’m under black magic now and have been for some time, but I only became aware a week ago that I was attacked at a very young age.

I realize I’m beginning to sound crazy, so please bear with me. I didn’t believe black magic was real either, and for this reason I have never really spoken about what I've been going through. But trust me when I say it is too real, and people need to know that.

I went to God when I was trying to save my large intestine. My relationship with God has only strengthened since then, so perhaps this gut disease is a blessing in disguise. About a week ago I was in prayer and I asked God if I have any ability with which to hear and see God, or if this is something that I have to pray and do penance for. My spiritual journey has heightened my intuition. I have taught myself how to decipher messages from the spirit realm. I am aware of which thoughts are mine and which ones are incoming from elsewhere. I pick up on what I’m hearing and seeing around me that would have seemed ordinary before. I get guided to messages from others who have the ability to communicate with the spirit realm.

I had never cared to see or hear the spirit realm before. I was happy with my level of intuition, but I began grow wary if perhaps me not caring was the influence of something dark. This was triggered by a message I saw on Youtube.

Soon after, I learned that I was born with psychic ability but it was blocked by black magic by a family member when I was very young. I wondered exactly how young I was and a memory came back to me. This is one of my earliest childhood memories, one that I often look back to and wonder about because what happened was so weird.

I woke up to the sound of my parents arguing. My sister was asleep next to me in bed, and the open window above her was letting in a cool breeze. It was dark and light was filtering in from the hallway. I saw my mom walk past, yelling at my dad as she went. I wasn’t alarmed. I was used to their fights.

A movement caught my eye and I looked towards the closet. Inside was a figure perched on the rod. I couldn’t make it out. Even with the light on in the hallway it was too dark to see, but the figure was darker than the dark. While I was looking at it, I got the distinct impression that it was looking back at me. All of a sudden, it lifted off the rod and flew towards me, touched my cheek, and flew out the window.

Freaked out, I started crying. My mom came in thinking I was crying from their yelling and tried to comfort me. I told her what happened and she just closed the window and told me to go back to sleep. At the time, I thought it was a crow. I still think it was a crow.

As time went on the more I thought about it the weirder it seemed. Usually when a bird flies into a room from outdoors they thrash about and cause a raucous. I wouldn’t have slept though that. And they never seem to know how to get back outside. I worked in a grocery store, and birds would sometimes fly into the store or warehouse. They would find a place to perch, to get their bearings straight I suppose, but they never knew how to get out. The bird in my room knew exactly how to get out, and rather than flying straight out the window it swooped down to touch me first.

That memory came when I was wondering when my psychic ability was blocked from me. At this point on my spiritual journey I know nothing is coincidence. I also believe that birds and animals are high-vibrational beings and so they don’t connect with low-vibrational beings. And, spiritually speaking, birds are considered to be messengers, aren’t they?

After I got that memory, I wondered who could have possibly done it? And a memory of a family member flashed in my head. They are no longer around. They once mentioned black magic and I wanted to laugh because how can they believe in that hullabaloo. I realize now this person could have easily obtained my birth chart information from my mother. All a person needs is your birthday, place of birth, and time of birth to look into your whole life.

I was supposed to receive blessings in this life. Blessings that I had worked hard for over many lifetimes. This is the life I was supposed to enjoy wealth, success, family, health, strong psychic ability, and a twin flame marriage. All of it has been blocked by people who probably think that I was just born lucky. People who did not do any of the work that I did and decided to block or take, as though they have some sort of entitlement to, what is rightfully mine.

This fast is to take back all that has been taken from me; to live the life I was born to live.

I know spiritual fasts are to be done in private. I have never spoken about my past fasts with anyone except a few times with my parents because they were concerned when I was looking emaciated. However, I am being guided to be public with this one. God knows why, though I have a hunch.

To the naysayers who believe fasting is bad and want to tell me to stop. I have done enough fasts to know I can do this. Also, you don’t know the hell I’ve been through.

This life has been difficult. If you find my story interesting so far, wait until I tell you about my toxic ex.