The One Star Review

Dear Yurp reviews,

This was the worst meal I ever had.

My friends and I went to Goma Bakery for some good eats. We had heard good things from other customers. We heard they used a special, sticky plant juice that enhanced the flavor of their food. We heard they were great and had a top notch world famous Michelin rated chef serving the best food and had excellent customer service with a top notch wait staff. People say they always left full and the prices were reasonable.

Sadly, this was not the case for us. The food was undercooked, the plant juice did not help to enhance the flavor, they left to much skin on the meat and there were some bones left inside.

The wait staff had an attitude with us like they did not want to be serving us our meal, and one of them couldn’t stop swearing and was constantly sweating, which was really gross. He must have been new.

We asked the chef to recook and debone the meal, and after an hour he came out and said this specific meal was hard to cook. Some Michelin rated top notch chef.

The whole experience just made me sad. My friends and I were looking forward to a great meal and a fun night out, and Goma bakery and their putrid, rotten staff and horrible chef completely ruined it. We will not be going back there again.

I wouldn't recommend this restaurant to anyone. The atmosphere was drab and depressing, with dim lighting and worn-out furniture. The menu was limited, and the food lacked any creativity or flavor. Save your money and go elsewhere.

In addition, they had terrible hygiene standards! The tables were sticky, and the silverware looked like it hadn't been properly cleaned in ages. I spotted a few flies buzzing around the dining area, which was a major turn-off. It's shocking that this place is allowed to operate.

Avoid this place at all costs! The portion sizes were ridiculously small, despite us bringing our own ingredients, and the prices were exorbitant, which is the opposite of the lies you’ll read online. I left feeling hungry and cheated. The management clearly cares more about their profit margins than providing a satisfying dining experience.

Their unprofessional and ugly staff ruined our evening. They mixed up our orders multiple times and seemed clueless about proper service. When we asked for assistance, they were dismissive and unapologetic. It's as if they had no training or understanding of basic customer service. They’re horrible.

This restaurant lacks any sense of ambiance. The decor is outdated and unappealing, and the lighting is too bright, making it feel like a cafeteria rather than a cozy eatery. It's not a place you'd want to spend an enjoyable evening.

The food was a disaster. The steak I ordered was overcooked and tough, and the vegetables were mushy and overseasoned. It tasted like something you'd find in a cheap cafeteria, not a fancy high rated bakery with a Michelin rated chef. I couldn't even finish my meal.

Yes, the steak was long pig. Yes, that means human meat. But we brought the body in ourselves after we humanly slaughtered him on our farm to table, organic, grass fed, non-GMO, heart healthy, gluten free, kosher, %100 natural, immune supporting, and Keto friendly human farm. It’s also a good source of iron and we don’t even add corn syrup.

My point being, any mediocre chef should have been able to cook our human steak and cook him well. Goma Bakey and your chef, you should be ashamed of yourselves. We expected so much more and you disappointed us.

Next time we’re going to Steve’s Hot and Spicy Outback Steakhouse. They did a great job cooking our corpse last time, they’ll do it again.

Goodbye forever, Goma bakery.

Sincerely,

Jeff D