Heteroflexible and Bisexual

Is there a difference between someone who is bisexual and someone who is heteroflexible? Short answer, yes, there is a difference. It is easy to get the two confused, and honestly, easy to understand why they are easily seen as the same thing by many people.

Defining Bisexual as a Term

The term bisexual is, at its core, is a person who is attracted to both the same gender and the opposite gender. A person who is bisexual will often view people of both genders as a potential partner equally. They can be sexually attracted to either gender, they usually can see themselves in a relationship with someone of either gender.

It is important to keep in mind however, that this is just the basic definition at its core. This is not the full view or scope of someone who is bisexual. Just like onions- and ogres named Shrek- they have layers.

Defining Heteroflexible as a Term

The term heteroflexible, at its core, refers to a person is straight, but doesn't fully deny the possibility that they could be attracted to someone of the same gender. A heteroflexible person doesn't see themselves in a relationship with someone of the same gender, and they don't fantasize or "check out" people of the same gender as themselves in a sexual way.

Often times, this term is also used for someone who is straight but very "forgiving" with certain situations. As an example, imagine a straight guy at a house party where nearly everyone is slow dancing. He looks over and sees his gay guy friend looking upset and leaning against the wall. After asking what's wrong the friend points out that everyone is straight and he has nobody to dance with, but really wants to. The straight guy goes to the dance floor with him and dances with his gay friend. There is no sexual attraction or romance, he just wants his friend to be happy and feel included. Most straight men wouldn't do that. This straight guy is unbothered by slow dancing with his gay friend, despite him being another guy. You would say that the straight guy in this scenario is heteroflexible.

Having said all of that, though, this term is typically applied to someone who doesn't dismiss the possibility of sex or sexual contact with someone of the same gender, they just don't pursue it in any way or feel the attraction to people of the same gender.

The Obvious Difference Between Bisexual and Heteroflexible

As I'm sure you can see now, the obvious difference between someone who is bisexual and someone who is heteroflexible, is that one pursues people of both genders and the other only wants the opposite gender but doesn't fully dismiss the possibility of being with a member of the same gender. In other words, it all comes down to active desire, preference, and willingness.

A lot of people may even tell you that there is a thin vail between the two... they are wrong. The truth is, the two are very far apart. Of course, people are complicated and surely there are those who seem to walk the line between them or confuse the real place they belong... but that is an individual and not the facts or truth of these two things.

The Transgender Complication

So, some may ask, if a man says he is straight, but he is dating a transgender woman (pre-surgery obviously)... then is he bisexual or heteroflexible? Of course, the answer often depends on who you ask and their various types of beliefs.

If you ask a hardcore-Christian person this question, then they are likely to say that the person is bisexual or even gay. If you ask someone ignorant enough to think that there is no difference between a trans-woman and a cis-woman, they will say the guy is straight. The simple truth is... he may be either. The obvious way to find out- if you really want to know for some reason- is to just ask him.

Being fully realistic and honest... it's the likely outcome of the pairing that is most impacted by if the guy is bisexual or heteroflexible. If the man is bisexual, then a long-term relationship is possible. After all, a bisexual person is equally (or near it) attracted and pursuant of both genders. On the other hand, if the guy is heteroflexible, he simply hasn't dismissed the possibility but had no plans or true desire to be with someone who is genetically male. The only realistic chance of that surviving is if he is powerfully in love with the person. Before you ask or try to dismiss this truth by asking... yes, the same applies if it is a bisexual or heteroflexible woman with a transgender person. We desire, want, expect, and pursue... what we feel is right and right for us. Social conditioning can't overpower that, no matter how hard people try to sway you. Reality and nature always win in the end.